Nanny dropped baby

[Anonymous]

In our nanny share today, nanny wasn't watching one of the babies very closely at pick up and he fell out of a swing. While it was an accident, it could have been avoided if nanny had listened to us that the babies were too big for the swing, had strapped the baby in correctly (he was strapped in one leg) and was watching the baby more closely. I'm really upset about what happened and know it's an accident, but the carelessness has really bothered me and I'm having a hard time shaking it off. If you have been in this situation as a caregiver or employer, how did you move forward or did you? If it was grounds for other action, what were your next steps? How did you proceed in the work relationship? That baby screaming can't get out of my head. My heart aches for the baby and I'm so upset this happened. I know the babies are growing and bound to get hurt but it doesn't make it any less difficult. Advice appreciated. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

How is the overall care? I would be very concerned given she wasn't using the swing correctly. Personally, I'd put the swing away if baby is too big. But, I'd consider switching providers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How is the overall care? I would be very concerned given she wasn't using the swing correctly. Personally, I'd put the swing away if baby is too big. But, I'd consider switching providers.

from what you write, I assume this is not your baby. if so, I will tell the parents, at the very least they can keep an eye on the baby to make sure he is fine. using a piece of equipment that you told the nanny not to use is not a good sign (although I also wonder why the heck the swing was still there if the babies should not use it - does it belong to the other family? if so, you should talk to the family and have it removed, since it is obviously an hazard and if it should not be used it should not be there). also, not strapping the baby properly is a really bad red flag IMO, because it shows that the nanny is careless with basic safety issues. is she going to strap the kids properly when they go out in the stroller? as for not watching the kids closely, unfortunately things happen even when you have just one, this is why it is important to use equipment and safety feature properly. the fact that the child was not strapped properly for me would be a big deal. I would definitely have a talk with the nanny about safety and expectations about using safety features properly and all the time.

[Anonymous]

The swing was borrowed from a friend and in the room for my husband to take it back to her house. It's a room the nanny and babies don't use as we have our basement configured as a playroom. The babies have just gotten to the point where they are too big for the swing.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like the baby was too big and couldn't be strapped in properly. I've done this before but thankfully the baby never fell out.

[Anonymous]

Babies fall. If it hadn't been the swing it would have been something else. They're unlikely to get hurt from a fall from a swing, they're not that high and are designed with that has a potential outcome. I'd be more worried about stair safety and high chair safety. I wouldn't spend too much time obsessing over the other kids scream. That is how they communicate. I seriously doubt he was screaming in pain. He was probably screaming because he's a screamer. Some kids scream more readily than others. He was probably screaming because he was pissed or scared. All that said, only you can say is this is a deal breaker for you. You were there and see the circumstances. What you don't know is if this was a one off type thing.

[Anonymous]

Yes, you are correct. He is too tall and couldn't be strapped in properly. I know it was an accident and that our babies' nanny felt awful (she was crying this morning), but I didn't sleep at all last night. My husband put the swings and other toys the babies outgrew in the attic. My heart just hurt so much seeing that little guy's bruised face and hearing him cry in pain. I think of him as my own son. I had a conversation this morning before the other family came about being attentive and making sure that you strapped the babies into the security straps on things like high chairs and strollers properly and not putting them in items that they have outgrown. I know that the nanny felt awful, but she kept comparing the incident to past incidents with past employers. That wasn't what I wanted to hear. I felt like the other parents handled this really well. I would have flipped out. I was very upset, but in response mode, getting an ice pack and wash cloth for the baby and helping the mom. I know that the nanny was worried as she called both of us several times this morning. I'm going to have a serious conversation with her today about attentiveness. I think it is a larger issue lately.

If this has happened to you as a nanny or parent--and I say this as a mom who dropped her own son while throwing away a wipe and he rolled off the bed--what advice do you have for me?

[Anonymous]

MB here. I haven't dropped one of my kids, but I have definitely had them roll off beds/couches/counters etc... and be injured on my watch, and my husband's, and our nanny's, and interim nanny's, and my sister's, etc...

It happens. It happens a lot and it's awful. And kids are remarkably strong and resilient over all.

My advice to you is to try to calm down. The baby is ok. The nanny sounds like she is beating herself up about it plenty. And you have taken steps to remove the things that the babies have outgrown.

Be thankful it wasn't more serious and remind yourself that 10 years from now there will have been dozens of more scary, serious, incidents and this will seem like nothing.

Seriously.

It's ok. The baby is ok. Let it go.

[Anonymous]

NP here. To me, the issue isn't that he fell. Accidents happen and it sounds like the nanny showed the appropriate remorse as well. While it is awful to see any child hurt I'm sure he will be ok. The issue I would have is with the nanny's judgment and her lack of following instructions. It's unclear from your post but if you had already spoken to the nanny about making sure the babies were strapped in AND told her not to use the swing anymore I would have serious concerns going forward. On the other hand, if you hadn't explicitly had that discussion previously I would probably let this go since she is obviously upset it is very unlikely she would be so careless again.

[Anonymous]

You talked to her this morning about all of this, your concerns, and changes she needs to make. Why do you need to have a conversation about it this afternoon? This wasn't your baby, let his parents handle it. I get the feeling you might just be better off looking for a new nanny.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you and the nanny are both massively overreacting to this OP, so I don't think there's much advice we can give you.

[Anonymous]

The nanny apologized. You talked to her about it. What do you need to have ANOTHER conversation for. Let it go. It wasn't even your kid!

[Anonymous]

I have to agree with the previous posters. Accidents like this happen. The baby is fine. There is no need to keep bringing it up. You will and are only fueling her level of being upset more.

[Anonymous]

The thread title is misleading. The nanny didn't drop the baby; the baby fell. It's clear you were trying to sway everyone's opinion before one even read your post.

A baby falling and getting hurt is every nanny's worst nightmare. The fact that she was crying this morning shows that she really cares and really feels bad. Doesn't change what happened, but she is showing remorse.

Nanny should have strapped baby in properly. Maybe she thought she did, but one side came undone. If clothes or blankets are caught in the clip, that can happen. You said you saw it happen. Did you, your child or someone else say or do something either at the time she was strapping in the baby or when the accident happened that diverted her attention? If so, she wasn't being inattentive and negligent; it was a true accident. Pick up time can be very, very hectic even in something like a daycare situation where there are multiple adults watching the little ones. What was the overall environment like? How many children, how many adults?

You were also negligent leaving things available in your home that the children shouldn't be using; that's probably part of why you feel so bad. You mentioned that the swing was in the room in order to be returned to a friend, yet your husband put it in the attic? If you're that upset, why didn't you return the swing or put it in the car so you can take it back? You probably also just mentioned the swing to her in passing. "Oh wow, babies are getting so big; they're probably going to outgrow that swing soon!" If you want to convey something important, be clear and direct about it.

[Anonymous]

Gossiping....