Overly dramatic toddler boy

[Anonymous]

So the boy I recently started nannying for (18 months) is generally a good kid and does well for me. However, I have noticed that before his parents leave for work in the morning, every time his dad walks into a room, the boy becomes frantic stomping his feed and whining hysterically until the dad picks him up. This literally happens every single time his dad walks into the same room. Is this a normal type of attachment for a little boy with his dad? It seems a little over the top to me? I've mostly cared for girls prior to this.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it's totally normal. I don't think it matters if it's a boy or a girl, some children are more attached than others. It's probably a combination of his age and the fact that you are new.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm concerned that you're going into work each day with outdated and harmful expectations based solely on a child's biological sex. What should him being a boy have to do with it? Do you expect a small toddler to not desire affection and companionship from their parent?

This is completely normal behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm concerned that you're going into work each day with outdated and harmful expectations based solely on a child's biological sex. What should him being a boy have to do with it? Do you expect a small toddler to not desire affection and companionship from their parent?

This is completely normal behavior.

Agree. OP you sound a bit inexperienced. Can you take an online child development class? It's really odd that you seem to think it is unhealthy for a boy to have an attachment to a parent like this. It is TOTALLY normal. Please take a couple of classes or find a job working with a girl.

[Anonymous]

You're right OP. Boys should be cold and detached from their parents. Clearly something is going on with the dad and you should keep your eye out. Totally weird that your charge doesn't want his dad to go to work and wants to cuddle with him.

[Anonymous]

Please quit this job and find one working with a girl. I can't imagine all the ways you're going to screw this kid up for doing totally normal toddler things that you deem "only for girls".

[Anonymous]

His mom says he does this all the time whether I am there or not. It's not the attachment itself, it's how absolutely frantic he gets every single time he sees his dad. It just seems extreme to throw that kind of fit every time he sees his dad. The girls I've cared for never do that. They cry for their parents, but they don't stomp around and whine hysterically every time a parent walks into the room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:His mom says he does this all the time whether I am there or not. It's not the attachment itself, it's how absolutely frantic he gets every single time he sees his dad. It just seems extreme to throw that kind of fit every time he sees his dad. The girls I've cared for never do that. They cry for their parents, but they don't stomp around and whine hysterically every time a parent walks into the room.

Here is a little secret...not all kids are the same. How are his verbal skills? How often does he see dad? Does dad do something special with him?

DS went through a phase like this when he was around 15 months. He actually just couldn't quite express his happiness in words yet but it was because he and DH had a game where DH chased DS around the house pretending he was a monster and would tickle him. DS LOVED it and would try to jump (ie run in place) in excitement because he thought DH would always play that game.

I can't tell if you are trying to figure out if your charge has problems or what, but I think you are way overthinking this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:His mom says he does this all the time whether I am there or not. It's not the attachment itself, it's how absolutely frantic he gets every single time he sees his dad. It just seems extreme to throw that kind of fit every time he sees his dad. The girls I've cared for never do that. They cry for their parents, but they don't stomp around and whine hysterically every time a parent walks into the room.

This child needs to be evaluated and dad needs to be checked out to make sure nothing is going on. Normal children don't go through phases of attachment to one parent. Thank God you're there OP. Hopefully this child can get the help he needs

[Anonymous]

Oh for heaven's sake. The issue is more likely w/ a father who responds in a way the child likes when he behaves this way. This is normal toddler behavior, and pretty typical toddler/parent manipulation also.

[Anonymous]

Might just be a phase. The 17-month-old I watch used to be very independent but suddenly became hysterical about his mom 2 or 3 weeks ago. If he even hears footsteps that he thinks might be hers, he cries and cries. She'll be holding him, he'll ask to get down, as soon as his feet touch the ground he panics and starts screaming for her!

I did notice though that he recently became able to stop crying if I ask him to. (I only ask him if it's something I know he has words for, like wanting a toy or to be picked up, not trivializing or ignoring his emotions.) And I don't tell him to stop crying; I just ask, "Can you stop crying? Do you want up? Can you say up?" He also recently got REALLY loud and it seriously hurts my ears when he's screaming right in my face. Of course if he's hurt or truly upset I don't care, but kids learn to do what works. And I'm teaching him that words work better than screaming.

So...if your charge seems ready for it, and his dad wants to work on it, dad could say something like "I'll pick you up when you can be a little more quiet. Okay? You don't have to cry, I'm right here."

Or--take your charge into a room and close the door and play with him while parents are getting ready.
I watch my charge at MB's shop and she "hides" when I take him outside, because he'll freak out and she won't get any work done if he sees her.

[Anonymous]

Toddlers go through phases where they prefer one caregiver over another and it's totally normal to react the way he is. Plus you're new and even if he does the same thing when his mom is home and you're not there he is still going through a major life change. At this time he's more attached to dad and is finding comfort in him at this time.

In a few weeks he may avoid dad and be overly attached to mom and in time it could be you.

Please read up on how to raise a child with no gender specifications. Like little boys can play with purses and dolls. Little girls can play with trucks and balls. Also how to let boys show emotion. When he has a tantrum tell him you know he is missing his daddy and that's ok remind him that daddy will be home later and try and distract him with his favorite toys

[Anonymous]

Totally normal behavior. The dad is likely the "fun parent", who is not making toddler sleep and eat, but just plays with him all the little time he sees him. So the son probably wants to spend all time with dad.

I have a similar situation: the youngest throws a fit every time she sees the dad in the morning, because she is smart enough to know that in 2-3 minutes dad will leave. Boy or girl it doesn't matter. It should pass when the toddler is older.