Schedule conflict with Nanny's daughter schedule

[Anonymous]

We've had a great nanny for 2 years who brings her child to work. Child is 7. I have a preschooler and one in K. The logistics of getting everyone to school next year mean my two kids, who start at 9 am and 915, will have to be loaded into the car, ready for school and fed, at 730 am so she can get her child to school at 8 am 10 miles away. Then drive back and depending on traffic have maybe 20 minutes to kill before dropping off my oldest then the youngest 15 minutes later at their schools which are both about 5 blocks from my house. If her child was not in the mix, mine could leave for school at 850 and be done with it.

She claims there's no one to help her - dad is MIA and grandma works. No early drop off option for her kid either.

Does this seem reasonable or unreasonable to people? We love our nanny but it just doesn't strike me as being in my kids' best interests to be hauled all over town for an extra 90 minutes every day, then the afternoons too for pick up.

[Anonymous]

Unreasonable.

[Anonymous]

New nanny

[Anonymous]

I think it is unreasonable. knowing how hectic mornings are, getting kids ready 1.5 hours earlier every single school day is unfair to them. And then spending all that time in car.

Is it possible for you and your husband to cover mornings most of days, so nanny can arrive at 8:30 on most days? Obviously, that would decrease nanny's hours and potentially pay.

Did nanny really looked hard at early am and post school child care options?

Sometimes, maybe looking into another nanny without constraints makes sense... I know it is hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is unreasonable. knowing how hectic mornings are, getting kids ready 1.5 hours earlier every single school day is unfair to them. And then spending all that time in car.

Is it possible for you and your husband to cover mornings most of days, so nanny can arrive at 8:30 on most days? Obviously, that would decrease nanny's hours and potentially pay.

Did nanny really looked hard at early am and post school child care options?

Sometimes, maybe looking into another nanny without constraints makes sense... I know it is hard.

She is being unreasonable. This is not fair to your kids, or your family. She needs to find another way for her kid to get to school. Is there a bus she can take from your house?

Otherwise, the bolded portion above is a good idea, if you are able to have nanny start at 8:30 after she does drop off for her kid. She will have to accept the less hours/pay, but that is better than losing her job I would think. Give her the options and see what she decides.

You may ultimately have to find a new nanny. And if your kids are both in school maybe you only need after school hours anyway. Good luck OP.

[Anonymous]

This is not fair to your kids (it's not really fair to the nanny's child either who presumably has to get up early and come all the way to you just to go all the way back). I think you need to look at either getting your kids to school yourself and cutting the nanny's hours or (particularly depending on how bad the afternoon's logistics are for your kids) finding a new nanny.

[Anonymous]

New nanny. Anything else is a disaster waiting to continue happening. The logistics with the additional child will only get worse. Wait until their conflicting after school activities, etc... Stop the bleeding now.

[Anonymous]

She needs to find alternate care/transportation for her daughter or you need a new nanny. That is a disaster waiting to happen and very unfair to your kids.

[Anonymous]

Nanny here. Agree that this is just not workable for your kids.

1) Riding in a car is the most dangerous scenario most kids encounter. You are dramatically upping the odds that they will be involved in a collision.
2) It is unhealthy for them to be spending 90 minutes a day (not even counting PM!) completely sedentary.
3) This will mean that instead of eating a healthy breakfast sitting at a table, they will be eating (most likely proccessed junk) in the car.
4) They will be getting up a least an hour earlier, which means an earlier bedtime and less family time in the evenings.

This just won't work. Nanny needs to hire someone to watch her kid in the mornings until the bus comes (maybe another mom in the neighborhood would be interested in making extra money that way), or find before care, or find a new job that is closer to home.

[Anonymous]

Op here. Thanks all, for what turned out to be validation of my thoughts as well.

[Anonymous]

MB here and I agree that this isn't workable.

I think you either need a new nanny, or you have to figure out if she simply doesn't start work until 8:30 and you cover the morning routine somehow.

[Anonymous]

+1 to all of this. Either start her at 8:30 if that's an option for you, or let her know this just won't work, and start the search for someone new. No way would I let my kids be driven an extra 40 miles/90 minutes a day for something that wasn't essential.

[Anonymous]

Also, you would be paying her for the extra time I am assuming.

Unless this nanny was truly a gem and you found her incredibly irreplaceable OP, I would simply ask her to find some assistance w/her daughter of else seek another nanny for your children.

It just seems a tad bit unfair to have to shuttle your children around more just to accommodate your nanny's daughter.

[Anonymous]

*or

[Anonymous]

Agree it is NOT reasonable. Also agree with the nanny who posted about the riskiest part of your kids' day be in time spent in the car. Not a good plan, and it is indeed time to look for someone new. Good luck. You've been good employers for two years if you've been letting her being her child, which is a huge accommodation.