agreed to babysit, can I ask them to pick me up and drive me home?

[Anonymous]

I agreed to a Saturday night babysitting job months ago with the family I work for. They are going to a concert that ends at 10 and is 20 mins away. I thought I would be home 11 at the latest but they just informed me they will be going out for drinks afterwards and will get home very late that night. I just found out my roommate will be traveling out of town for the weekend. I'm a little freaked out to come home alone so late. My apartment parking lot fills up fast so I'll have to park fairly far from my door.

I'm annoyed that I agreed to the concert and they added drinks and a later night after the fact. We recently had someone robbed at gunpoint in the hallway and I had to call the police just last week because a man was looking in our window. Can I say that they need to pick me up and drive me home or at least follow me home afterwards? Or is this not acceptable? I am having anxiety about coming home late by myself.

[Anonymous]

Let them get someone else if they want to go drinking. You don't want them driving you after they've been drinking, IMO. Done.

[Anonymous]

Definitely tell them your concern. If they are reasonable people they will either come home early or drive you home.

[Anonymous]

No, you can't make demands and "tell them" they "have to." You are an adult. Your safety is your problem. It's not their problem. It's totally reasonable that adults who are going out will do more than one single thing (just a movie, just dinner, just a concert, etc.).

Call your mommy and ask her to expect your call around 11:30 when you leave the house you're babysitting at, and then again however many minutes later when you should be home. Ask her to call the cops if she doesn't get the second call.

And take a self-defense class so you learn how to handle yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, you can't make demands and "tell them" they "have to." You are an adult. Your safety is your problem. It's not their problem. It's totally reasonable that adults who are going out will do more than one single thing (just a movie, just dinner, just a concert, etc.).

Call your mommy and ask her to expect your call around 11:30 when you leave the house you're babysitting at, and then again however many minutes later when you should be home. Ask her to call the cops if she doesn't get the second call.

And take a self-defense class so you learn how to handle yourself.

STFU.
- Not OP

[Anonymous]

Yes, but remember they will have been drinking. I'd reconsider babysitting and move.

[Anonymous]

Wow. I hope you are not a "mommy" or a nanny 21:52. You sound like a real peach. But then it begs the question, what are you even doing on this site?

For OP: I don't think its unacceptable for you to explain your situation and ask them to follow you home. If you were my sitter, I'd skip drinks afterwards so we could both get home safely.

[Anonymous]

I think this might depend on the relationship you have with them- if you are a regular sitter they know well and this is a one time issue (combo of being out late and your roommate being away), I bet they'll skip drinks or offer to pay for a cab (which is what I would do). If you don't babysit often, they may still agree to come home early or drive you home, but I think they would be more put off by the request in terms of asking you to sit again? In the latter case, I might just ask them to give you a ten minute warning when they come home so you can call a cab (explaining it is for safety reasons). I suspect they'll offer to pay for it or include a tip accordingly.

FWIW, we have one sitter we have to pick up and drop off and I use her only ever as an absolute last resort. She's a great sitter but the pick up and drop off element makes it just too much of a pain for us and as much as we like her, we have other sitters we like as much who can drive to us.

Also, if you feel that unsafe coming home late, you should seriously consider moving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this might depend on the relationship you have with them- if you are a regular sitter they know well and this is a one time issue (combo of being out late and your roommate being away), I bet they'll skip drinks or offer to pay for a cab (which is what I would do). If you don't babysit often, they may still agree to come home early or drive you home, but I think they would be more put off by the request in terms of asking you to sit again? In the latter case, I might just ask them to give you a ten minute warning when they come home so you can call a cab (explaining it is for safety reasons). I suspect they'll offer to pay for it or include a tip accordingly.

FWIW, we have one sitter we have to pick up and drop off and I use her only ever as an absolute last resort. She's a great sitter but the pick up and drop off element makes it just too much of a pain for us and as much as we like her, we have other sitters we like as much who can drive to us.

Also, if you feel that unsafe coming home late, you should seriously consider moving.

If she's in the ballpark of your $15/hr nanny, she probably can't.

[Anonymous]

After date night is quality adult time (sex), so I would not want to drive you home. Your concerns are reasonable and I would totally understand if you told me that you were not comfortable staying late enough for us to go to drinks.

[Anonymous]

OP I totally understand. I would feel unsafe going home that late alone too, especially after the recent events you mentioned. I would not however, ask anyone to drive me anywhere after they have been out drinking. That would be unsafe as well.

Do you have a friend, boyfriend, parent, anyone you can ask to pick you up and make sure you get home safe after babysitting? Would it be possible to call a taxi and get dropped off right at your door so you don't have to walk through the parking lot?

If no, then you may need to turn down the babysitting job and tell the family why. Also, I think you need to look for a new safer apartment. That is scary stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After date night is quality adult time (sex), so I would not want to drive you home. Your concerns are reasonable and I would totally understand if you told me that you were not comfortable staying late enough for us to go to drinks.

Thanks, but I doubt anyone here cares about your sex, so let's stay on topic.

[Anonymous]

If you agreed to babysit while they go to a concert, then tell them no to drinks afterwards. It wasn't what you agreed to be available for.

They don't own you and you are allowed to control some aspects of the evening, contrary to what the previous idiot poster said.

It sounds like they are trying to take advantage and probably wouldnt give a rats ass about your concerns. But honestly, who would want to come home at 2 in the morning anyway? No one would feel safe walking through an parking lot at that time, no matter where they lived.

Just tell them no to drinks and you expect to be home by 11 as originally discussed.

[Anonymous]

I would tell them your concerns so they can quickly fire you and find an adult to care for their children. You are absurd. If you can't walk home alone how can you ever be expected to care for children. The world is clearly too scary a place for you to ever leave your home, just stay inside 24/7 and let us adults enjoy our lives out here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you agreed to babysit while they go to a concert, then tell them no to drinks afterwards. It wasn't what you agreed to be available for.

They don't own you and you are allowed to control some aspects of the evening, contrary to what the previous idiot poster said.

It sounds like they are trying to take advantage and probably wouldnt give a rats ass about your concerns. But honestly, who would want to come home at 2 in the morning anyway? No one would feel safe walking through an parking lot at that time, no matter where they lived.

Just tell them no to drinks and you expect to be home by 11 as originally discussed.

r.
Do you nut cases on here ever realize how dumb you sound with all this "take advantage of nannies talk" ??? Do you really think MB and DB call a sitter and tell her they need her for a concert that ends at 10:00 and then weeks later cackle while they discuss how they are going to "take advantage" of her by staying out 45 extra minutes for drinks!! Haha! It will be awesome to totally cheat this nanny into letting us give her an extra hours worth of pay!We are so clever.