agreed to babysit, can I ask them to pick me up and drive me home?

[Anonymous]

No, OP, you should not ask them to pick you up and drive you home. You are responsible for your own transportation to and from work and if you are too scared to come home after dark, you should probably not take babysitting jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this might depend on the relationship you have with them- if you are a regular sitter they know well and this is a one time issue (combo of being out late and your roommate being away), I bet they'll skip drinks or offer to pay for a cab (which is what I would do). If you don't babysit often, they may still agree to come home early or drive you home, but I think they would be more put off by the request in terms of asking you to sit again? In the latter case, I might just ask them to give you a ten minute warning when they come home so you can call a cab (explaining it is for safety reasons). I suspect they'll offer to pay for it or include a tip accordingly.

FWIW, we have one sitter we have to pick up and drop off and I use her only ever as an absolute last resort. She's a great sitter but the pick up and drop off element makes it just too much of a pain for us and as much as we like her, we have other sitters we like as much who can drive to us.

Also, if you feel that unsafe coming home late, you should seriously consider moving.

If she's in the ballpark of your $15/hr nanny, she probably can't.

I'd start looking for better paying employers, so you can afford to live in a safer area.

[Anonymous]

Where does it say just an extra 45 minutes anywhere in original post? Did you just have a mental breakdown posting that??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you agreed to babysit while they go to a concert, then tell them no to drinks afterwards. It wasn't what you agreed to be available for.

They don't own you and you are allowed to control some aspects of the evening, contrary to what the previous idiot poster said.

It sounds like they are trying to take advantage and probably wouldnt give a rats ass about your concerns. But honestly, who would want to come home at 2 in the morning anyway? No one would feel safe walking through an parking lot at that time, no matter where they lived.

Just tell them no to drinks and you expect to be home by 11 as originally discussed.

You agree to babysit on a specific night. It's about the date, not the specific activity. You're not a parent allowing a young teen to go to the mall, where you have the authority to say "but nowhere else BUT the mall!" What if the performer at the concert is awesome and does an encore? Then the parents would stay for that. OP, you simply do not get to dictate where the parents go when they hire you for a date night.

[Anonymous]

Hi Jane,

When I agreed to babysit Saturday night, I was under the impression that you would arrive home around [time]. In light of your new plans to get back around [time], I do not feel safe taking public transit so late. Would you be willing to help me arrange alternate transportation home afterward? If not, I understand, but will have to decline the job.

Larla

[Anonymous]

The bigger issue is this: why do you live somewhere so unsafe?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi Jane,

When I agreed to babysit Saturday night, I was under the impression that you would arrive home around [time]. In light of your new plans to get back around [time], I do not feel safe taking public transit so late. Would you be willing to help me arrange alternate transportation home afterward? If not, I understand, but will have to decline the job.

Larla

Agree. Although this really only works if they actually said "concert is out at 10, be home around 1030". If you assumed they were coming home right after, well that's kind of on you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this might depend on the relationship you have with them- if you are a regular sitter they know well and this is a one time issue (combo of being out late and your roommate being away), I bet they'll skip drinks or offer to pay for a cab (which is what I would do). If you don't babysit often, they may still agree to come home early or drive you home, but I think they would be more put off by the request in terms of asking you to sit again? In the latter case, I might just ask them to give you a ten minute warning when they come home so you can call a cab (explaining it is for safety reasons). I suspect they'll offer to pay for it or include a tip accordingly.

FWIW, we have one sitter we have to pick up and drop off and I use her only ever as an absolute last resort. She's a great sitter but the pick up and drop off element makes it just too much of a pain for us and as much as we like her, we have other sitters we like as much who can drive to us.

Also, if you feel that unsafe coming home late, you should seriously consider moving.

If she's in the ballpark of your $15/hr nanny, she probably can't.

Maybe she should get a real job then instead of babysitting occasionally until dusk and then schlepping back to gang territory.

[Anonymous]

OP, presumably you have a long-standing decent relationship w/ these folks right?

Assuming you do, I'd just talk to them and tell them your concerns. Maybe ask if you can just spend the night if you'll be there that late anyway.

If I were your employer and changed my return time in a way that resulted in you feeling uncomfortable I'd happily follow you home or let you stay over. (If I have to pick you up in advance also it starts getting more annoying for me.)

I agree with others though that if you're that uneasy in your home it isn't good.

[Anonymous]

I agree with posters OP. How dare you live in a poorer crime riddled area?! It's as simple as moving. Don't you make enough to just get a nicer place?? You are absurb. You are an adult who agreed to work until a certain time and then had the time changed to later. If my nanny said she would come at 9 this morning so I could go to work and then called and said she would come at 2 instead, duh! I would just need to accept that. Since I hired her for the work day it doesn't matter what time she actually comes. Its the event of going to work that i hired her for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with posters OP. How dare you live in a poorer crime riddled area?! It's as simple as moving. Don't you make enough to just get a nicer place?? You are absurb. You are an adult who agreed to work until a certain time and then had the time changed to later. If my nanny said she would come at 9 this morning so I could go to work and then called and said she would come at 2 instead, duh! I would just need to accept that. Since I hired her for the work day it doesn't matter what time she actually comes. Its the event of going to work that i hired her for.

Ok, you're losing it. Seriously - are you ok? Your posts aren't even making sense any more. Please go take care of yourself.

[Anonymous]

What other posts aren't making sense to you dear?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, you can't make demands and "tell them" they "have to." You are an adult. Your safety is your problem. It's not their problem. It's totally reasonable that adults who are going out will do more than one single thing (just a movie, just dinner, just a concert, etc.).

Call your mommy and ask her to expect your call around 11:30 when you leave the house you're babysitting at, and then again however many minutes later when you should be home. Ask her to call the cops if she doesn't get the second call.

And take a self-defense class so you learn how to handle yourself.

+1

I understand your concern OP. I think that you should handle it a different way though. Call someone, such as your mother when you leave. You can also call and talk with her while you walk to and check your apartment. Carry mace and have it ready. Enroll yourself in a self defense class.

[Anonymous]

I wonder if OP was any of your all's children, if you would telling her to suck it up. Its apparent who are trolls on here and who actually have children.

OP: you've already gotten great actual advice on how to handle this situation. Since they changed the end time, ask them to accommodate a safe way home for you. Or spend the night so you're not driving home at 2 in the morning. It sounds like you are their regular so they should have no problem making sure you get home safe and I'm sure they would be understanding that they maybe shouldn't stay out so late as it makes you uncomfortable. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if OP was any of your all's children, if you would telling her to suck it up. Its apparent who are trolls on here and who actually have children.

OP: you've already gotten great actual advice on how to handle this situation. Since they changed the end time, ask them to accommodate a safe way home for you. Or spend the night so you're not driving home at 2 in the morning. It sounds like you are their regular so they should have no problem making sure you get home safe and I'm sure they would be understanding that they maybe shouldn't stay out so late as it makes you uncomfortable. Good luck!

I have a college-age daughter and we've done exactly what I suggested OP do. Call me when she's gotten in her car to leave and then called me again once she's gotten inside her home with the door locked. I do NOT suggest OP stay on her cell phone the entire time she's walking from her parking spot to her apartment door - that will distract her from noticing what's going on around her.