New position new trouble?
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Anonymous
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Hello all!
I just began a new position last week with three charges, we will call them by their ages and gender doesn't matter in this case. They are 6, 3 and 5mo. 6 has three activities in the AM at a community center at which the family is well known, two of those are outdoor sports and the other is swimming which 3 has at th same time Directly next to 6. Both 6 and 3 are AWESOME listeners alone but together - not so much. They (6&3) know all of the coaches, parents and life guards well. I have a schedule on my phone of their activities and fallow it accordingly. Yesterday we missed one activity all together because 6 vanished after the first activity. One of the activities is out in the open and on all other days that there aren't lessons are free range for anyone to play on...the coaches don't like kids playing around their during their lessons(understandable). 6 is very definite when I tell Him he can't play there when it's not his time and will not listen to me. The coaches see the power struggle and allow 6 to do as he pleases (these are 18 year olds - so I get it) but it makes my job impossible .... Because 6 won't listen, 3 also is becoming more defiant and with all of these people familiar with the kids around I get dirty looks and 'help' from the coaches and parents - really they just enable the child and shoot me dirty looks thus leading to me having no control and looking pathetic and helpless and begging the kids to listen... After these lessons that take place in the morning, both older kids have school or camp so we have to rush after swimming to get 3 to school for lunch and after that get 6 to camp while he is eating lunch in my new car although that's a whole another thing... I'm just overall stressed, crunched for time, disrespected and in listened to (by the kids) and I'm unsure of how to approach this with the parents.... Excuse any grammar or typo errors - I'm using my phone |
Anonymous
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The first few weeks of any new nanny position are always a transition for both the children and the new nanny OP and this sounds like a typical transition.
I would most definitely bring this up immediately w/the children's parents as soon as you can + get their input on how best to deal w/the children. Perhaps they can offer you some advice on certain techniques that work for them in similar situations. |
Anonymous
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Get tough on their little butts, OP. Be stern and demand respect and obedience then reward their positive behavior. They are clearly testing you.
You can work on being friends later - first you need to be respected. Absolutely tell you employers about the issues you are having and how you want to handle it and get their imput - you are all in this together and they kid's safety is the most important issue. A child who does not "mind" you is not safe. |
Anonymous
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OP, to tell you the truth, this isn't going to end well for you. If you stay there, you'll being going nuts if you make it to the end of the summer.
These kids have been trained to be the way they are. Their parents are essentially fine with it, regardless of what they tell you. |
Anonymous
| You don't sound like a very good nanny, OP. Seek another job in another field. |
Anonymous
Lol thanks  your input!
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Anonymous
She got some neglected kids dumped in her lap. |
Anonymous
No, she didn't. She took a job she apparently can't do. |
Anonymous
Nasty. |
Anonymous
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Op here, thanks for all your comments (kind or otherwise)...
This is my first time transitioning to a new family as I was with my old family for 2 years, so it's just an adjustment period I'm sure - but it's frustrating none the less! It always cracks me up, the nannies who only want to bring others down.... How wonderful that your pissy pants decided your career should be with children, you seem like someone I would want raising my kids
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Anonymous
| You know there's at least one mb here who pretends to be a nanny. |
Anonymous
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If you don't want the 6-year-old to eat in the car, I would suggest a "heavy" snack during the down-time in the morning, and then a fast snack right as you drop him off. He should be able to drink a cup of milk and eat a substantial granola bar in 5 minutes or less.
The behavior issues in the morning are because you're new, they know the layout and you don't, and because they are testing, testing, testing. Come up with a plan the night before. Child A doesn't listen? All three of you sit in one spot for x minutes and no one talks to him until the time-out is over. If everyone is late, so be it. He vanishes? When you find him, he sits and watches the activity but doesn't participate. This is a very busy schedule, and I can't imagine what's going on with the baby's naps, but your priority for the next few weeks needs to be to stay as calm as possible so the kids don't succeed in getting a rise out of you. Making it to everything on time needs to be secondary to getting them to listen to you and to trust you. |
Anonymous
Thank you! This truly makes me feel better and sounds like a good solution. I'm going to discuss it with mb on Monday (the 'time out' part). I have never nannied this age so it's all a new experience as opposed to the infant/toddlers I have had in the past |