How does your au pair reimburse for personal use of your vehicle?
![[Post New]](/nanny-forum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| Our third au pair is arriving this week and we're trying to figure out a good policy on getting reimbursed for personal use of our vehicle. It's a shared car, but we only use it a bit during the weekends when my husband and I have to split up errands and such. Up until now, we didn't ask for reimbursement except on occasions like when our au pairs had week long visitors and used the vehicle more than usual. Our first au pair was very conscientious about not overusing the privilege and it worked out great. Our second au pair hosed us with gas and recently decided to stop returning texts to let us know when she'd be bringing the car back so we could use it. What do you do? |
Anonymous
|
She is responsible for gas on her personal time. I would not expect wear and tear reimbursement.
|
Anonymous
|
Talk about nickel and dimming. I can see if she's driving to NY, but God's sake, for the movies?
Is this how she should use the measly stipend you give them? |
Anonymous
|
Op- We have dealt with this a few different ways. Our experience is different every year. Like you, we have had very conscientious APs who understood car usage to be a privilege, but also APs who felt entitled to do whatever they wanted with our car.
For the record, we have two cars. Our minivan was unintended to be the general kids transportation car, but since AP#2, we decided to not let APs use it anymore. They are just not comfortable with a car of that size, and after two fender benders realized it would end up being costly year after year. The other car was intended to be my car to commute to work but is now used for AP to transport kids and for her personal usage (except on weekend where we share). It’s a smaller car and I don’t care as much if it gets dented now and then (and believe me, it is definitely well dented now after 5 APs). I don’t want to nickel and dime for gas and maintenance, and I don’t have time to write down mileage every time anyone uses the car. In the past, we have asked APs for a stipend for car usage (anywhere between 10-20 per week). It worked super well for AP #2, and everyone was happy. For APs 3 and 4, it lead to blatant abuse. I think the idea of having a stipend was misconstrued as ‘do whatever you want with the car’. One AP would easily clock 100 miles per day in personal usage alone (probably being the driver for every other AP in our county). This year, we have gone back to not charging anything for car usage, but requesting to limit usage to 100 miles per week (personal use only, excluding attending cluster meetings and going to school). I also give more information about public transportation in our area (we are walking distance to train station to major metro area, and to two buses to smaller local centers), and encourage carpooling, as well as alternating meeting places with AP friends. This year has been great, and car usage has been a non-issue. |
Anonymous
|
You people sure are making out in this situation!
Charging underpaid girls to use your car...CLASSY! |
Anonymous
Thanks- this is helpful! Do they write down the miles each time they use it for personal stuff? For other posters, I'm referring to reimbursement for gas only, not maintenance. That said, I do think that a policy that discourages driving cross-country or to areas that are easily served by public transportation saves on maintenance, is better for the environment, discourages wastefulness, encourages healthy habits like walking, diminishes the stereotype that Americans drive gas-guzzling vehicles everywhere they go, and lessens the risk of drunk driving (for which I have a zero tolerance policy). |
Anonymous
|
Hi again. No I don’t have them write down their mileage, but I encourage them to do so for themselves in the first weeks. I give them a list of favorite places with app. mileage so they can get a sense of what 100 miles might mean (gym, mall, movies, etc.). I start with the expectation that I trust AP will stay within our mileage guidelines. Since I am the one filling up the tank, I am a good judge of whether or not there is over usage. When it happens, it is discussed right away.
I completely agree with you, it’s not just about the cost of gas and maintenance. We intend to keep our cars for at least 8yrs. We do our best to conserve in everything we do. We use public transportation to go to work, we carpool the kids, use a small energy-efficient car, and plan errands to prevent any unnecessary trips. We offer our car to our APs, but expect they will use it with respect and common sense, just like we do. BTW- The cost of owning a car in the US is app. $700 per month. I don’t think putting limitations or asking AP to contribute is unreasonable. |
Anonymous
|
We never charged our au pairs for any personal car usage, but we did ask them to discuss with us prior to taking the car. The expectations we set upfront is going to movies, the mall or the metro station is perfectly fine, but we would not say yes to long distance travels or to less desirable locations. My first au pair was actually very gracious about it and put in some gas ($5 or so) a week to share the cost, even though it was not asked.
And I must say, wow, a couple of people in this thread are so angry. These girls/boys are not mistreated by host families by any stretch of imagination. Host families are not obligated to provide a car for their personal use. You only see poor little "me"s getting $200/week you don't see the close to $10k annual program fee and many other financial resources host families provide to these au pairs to allow them the opportunity to live here for a year. Why create an unnecessary conflict while most families just work it out between the host family and au pairs? Why even judge with such a nasty tone? Unbelievable. |
Anonymous
How much do you guess rent would be in the home the au pairs are living? How much would you guess food to be? Cleaning ppl to clean up after everyone? Everything costs money and everything is provided for them. They do not have the responsibilities of the home or maintenance of the home or vehicles. Please don't pretend that they are roughing it. Thanks. |
Anonymous
|
Gotta love when APs get on here and make a big fuss.
In our situation, we have three vehicles. One for me, one for DH, and one for AP's primary use. That said, AP drives the minivan so sometimes we switch around who is driving what in case we need the bigger vehicle for some reason. Anyway, we gave AP one of our credit cards (which I know APIA says is a no-no but we didn't see any other way to make sure she always had money for various kid needs) and she uses that to pay for gas in the vehicle as needed. HOWEVER, she puts gas in the vehicle from her personal funds (her debit card tied to her personal bank account or cash) whenever she uses the car for a personal trip. For example, we cover the gas for her cluster meetings, school to/from, etc. But SHE pays for the gas when she drives to visit her BFF AP (who lives in Annapolis which is about 45 minutes). If there is any cloudiness about who pays, then by default we do. But if it is clearly her trip for just her, she pays. She's good about putting gas in to replace what she's used in real time; we don't track her miles or anything like that. |
Anonymous
OP here-- Sorry to get so specific, but does that means she gases it up each time she uses it for personal use? And assuming she doesn't always start with a full tank, how much does she put in? TIA! |
Anonymous
| We share two cars, who ever has the kids gets the kids' car (car seats). We fill up the cars every other week or as needed. AP has no restrictions on driving. Some weekends she barely goes anywhere (20 miles). Other weekends she has put over 150 miles on the car. The high use weekends don't bother us because they just average against the low use weekends. But, if it is a high use weekend, the she puts gas in the car (we don't ask her to, she has always just done it to cover her use). If she started doing 150+ every weekend we would speak to her. |
Anonymous
How much do you think an actual live-in nanny costs? A hell of a lot more than what you pay these 19 year-old girls from other countries. You are using them for cheap labor. You pay them a pittance and then expect them to use their meager stipend to pay for car use when the family is supposed to help facilitate a cultural experience or them. You all could give a crap about the cultural exchange part. Please don't pretend you are actually living up to your end of the agreement. Thanks. |
Anonymous
It's not an exact science, I suppose. Usually when she takes the car and returns it, she makes sure it has the same level of gas give or take. So if she uses a quarter tank, she puts in a quarter tank. She does stop at a gas station right by our house pretty frequently. I'm sure sometimes she puts in a little more than she used and other times less. It all seems to wash in the end. Some days she uses the car and returns without putting gas in, and then she will say "Oh I will put gas in the car the next time, I used about 100 miles' worth." She just seems to be aware, which we appreciate, that if she is driving back and forth to Annapolis a lot (which is where she typically goes), then she needs to keep an eye on her gas use and replacement. We never fuss about this. It all is very low key and it seems to work. And seriously, it is exhausting defending ourselves against people who are so nasty and rude. We have done everything possible to give our au pair a great year in the US with travel, tons of time off, lots of classic American experiences, etc., etc., and some people (on here) just refuse to believe that we possibly could be treating our au pair like a family member. I am tired of it. |
Anonymous
Actually, I've done the calculation on here before, and a live-in nanny of similar qualifications to an au pair costs very similar to an au pair. |