Trial month (or two weeks) -- how does it work?

[Anonymous]

We have had three long-term nannies (each a year or more) in the last four years, and then a couple of temps for fill-in in-between full-timers. All of our nannies have left for their own reasons (leaving nannying for a science job, becoming a SAHM, husband got a great job elsewhere). Our last temp, however, while fabulous as a nanny, made me very uncomfortable after a couple of days on the job. Her political views are completely opposed to my own, and she said some offensive things (not "borderline." actually offensive) during lunch with the children. I asked her not to discuss those subjects in front of the children, and left it at that since we were only looking at 6 weeks altogether anyway. If the children start repeating things, I'll worry about it then.

However, I would not want to work with her as a long-term nanny. I have never done a trial period, but realized that in this case, if we had hired her as a long-term nanny, it would have given us an opportunity to part ways. How does that work, though? If you do a trial month or two weeks, why wouldn't the nanny still be interviewing? What kind of severance do you offer if you decide not to go forward (or do you)? I'm considering trying this for our next nanny.

Alternatively, is there any non-offensive way to find out if your nanny is racist, or believes in proselytizing your children, or likes to talk about the latest war atrocities during an interview?

[Anonymous]

Sorry OP, I know it's stressful for you but your last line made me LOL.

In terms of a trial period, speaking as a nanny, there is no severance paid or required notice during that time; either party can end the relationship any day of that month. Typically you would not hire, and a nanny would not take, a position they weren't planning on keeping - in my experience it is rare for a family/nanny to part ways during a trial period - so no, neither side would be continuing to interview because both should be assuming the relationship will last.

As for the last question...you are legally allowed to ask those questions but it would probably put off even the best nannies. Instead I would recommend wording your ad appropriately - describe your family as liberal atheists with limited media consumption or however you consider yourselves or whichever points are very important for you. That should be a turn-off for nannies with distinctly opposing opinions and help prevent this type of situation. If you're looking for a new nanny through an agency, tell them you want a liberal/not overly religious/whatever nanny; my agency asks tons of personal questions for nanny applicants so they can match them with the right families ("would you be comfortable working for a two-mother or two-father family?" "Do you actively practice any religion?" "Would you have a problem working for a very conservative or very liberal family?" and the like).

[Anonymous]

I have never heard of this even being an issue. The nanny was unprofessional...and an idiot. Most decent nannies will never discuss politics at work, especially in front of children.
I really don't think it is something you need to mention in your job ad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have never heard of this even being an issue. The nanny was unprofessional...and an idiot. Most decent nannies will never discuss politics at work, especially in front of children.
I really don't think it is something you need to mention in your job ad.

OP here. I agree. As I said, we've had several nannies before, including two very religious nannies from denominations which are known for proselytizing who were absolutely appropriate at work. But, this time, it's pretty bad. I'm worried that putting something about our politics/religion in the ad would be off-putting. I actually did find her through an agency, and I wasn't aware this was something agencies discussed. I'll definitely ask next time.

Also, thank you for the response about the trial period. As a follow up, are there nannies who would refuse to do a trial run? Is there a length of trial run you would agree to (one week, two weeks, 30 days)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry OP, I know it's stressful for you but your last line made me LOL.

In terms of a trial period, speaking as a nanny, there is no severance paid or required notice during that time; either party can end the relationship any day of that month. Typically you would not hire, and a nanny would not take, a position they weren't planning on keeping - in my experience it is rare for a family/nanny to part ways during a trial period - so no, neither side would be continuing to interview because both should be assuming the relationship will last.

As for the last question...you are legally allowed to ask those questions but it would probably put off even the best nannies. Instead I would recommend wording your ad appropriately - describe your family as liberal atheists with limited media consumption or however you consider yourselves or whichever points are very important for you. That should be a turn-off for nannies with distinctly opposing opinions and help prevent this type of situation. If you're looking for a new nanny through an agency, tell them you want a liberal/not overly religious/whatever nanny; my agency asks tons of personal questions for nanny applicants so they can match them with the right families ("would you be comfortable working for a two-mother or two-father family?" "Do you actively practice any religion?" "Would you have a problem working for a very conservative or very liberal family?" and the like).

Either the nanny OR the family is ALWAYS "allowed" to end the agreement for any reason, or no reason at all. Hence, the "at will" relationship.

Nannies are NOT obligated to continue in an abusive situation of any sort. If the family isn't living up to their part of the agreement, the nanny SHOULD get another job.

[Anonymous]

You sound like a royal pain in the ass, OP. Let her go and you should stay home and make sure your snowflakes will only be exposed to your myopic view.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound like a royal pain in the ass, OP. Let her go and you should stay home and make sure your snowflakes will only be exposed to your myopic view.

+ 1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like a royal pain in the ass, OP. Let her go and you should stay home and make sure your snowflakes will only be exposed to your myopic view.

+ 1000

+ 2000 - Hope the nanny quits on her without notice.

[Anonymous]

During a trial period, I do not think the nanny or the parents are actually doing any outside interviewing "just in case." In my personal and professional opinion, both sides usually can get a sense quite quickly if the job is a good fit from the first few weeks at the very least.

A trial period can vary...From a week to a month, but I say a two week period is pretty average. If things do not work out and one side chooses to end things before the trial period is up, then that is acceptable and no one owes the other side anything, money or time. Sometimes it is just a given that there is just a bad fit and for the sake of the child, it is best to part ways immediately.

[Anonymous]

Yikes, OP. that nanny sounds terrible and you should not hire her.

[Anonymous]

I think I have discussed politics with every mb and db I have ever had. It just comes up in daily conversations, nothing serious . I sure hope Hillary runs for president stuff like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry OP, I know it's stressful for you but your last line made me LOL.

In terms of a trial period, speaking as a nanny, there is no severance paid or required notice during that time; either party can end the relationship any day of that month. Typically you would not hire, and a nanny would not take, a position they weren't planning on keeping - in my experience it is rare for a family/nanny to part ways during a trial period - so no, neither side would be continuing to interview because both should be assuming the relationship will last.

As for the last question...you are legally allowed to ask those questions but it would probably put off even the best nannies. Instead I would recommend wording your ad appropriately - describe your family as liberal atheists with limited media consumption or however you consider yourselves or whichever points are very important for you. That should be a turn-off for nannies with distinctly opposing opinions and help prevent this type of situation. If you're looking for a new nanny through an agency, tell them you want a liberal/not overly religious/whatever nanny; my agency asks tons of personal questions for nanny applicants so they can match them with the right families ("would you be comfortable working for a two-mother or two-father family?" "Do you actively practice any religion?" "Would you have a problem working for a very conservative or very liberal family?" and the like).

Either the nanny OR the family is ALWAYS "allowed" to end the agreement for any reason, or no reason at all. Hence, the "at will" relationship.

Nannies are NOT obligated to continue in an abusive situation of any sort. If the family isn't living up to their part of the agreement, the nanny SHOULD get another job.

Omg for crying out loud can you learn to read between the lines? Who is talking about an abusive situation?!

Of COURSE either party can terminate the position at will, it's the law, but in an ideal scenario you would have a contract that outlines notice that's expected to be given and severance that is expected to be paid and both sides would do their best to abide by it. The purpose of having a trial period is to make sure you are all on the same page before being (ethically if not legally) tied down to a four-week notice/severance arrangement. You realize it supports the nanny too, right?

OP I don't know if you need to mention it - I suggested you do because like the pp I almost always end up discussing current and social events with the families I work for and it's been in everyone's best interest that we tend to agree (I mean, we don't get in too deep but in surface chatter we are like-minded). But like I said, the agency I work for considers it very important, and according to them that's because a difference of political/social opinion has ended many of their placements (I live in a particularly liberal city). You asked for a way to screen and I suggested one. Dunno what else to tell you, if you don't think it's important to mention why did you ask how to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry OP, I know it's stressful for you but your last line made me LOL.

In terms of a trial period, speaking as a nanny, there is no severance paid or required notice during that time; either party can end the relationship any day of that month. Typically you would not hire, and a nanny would not take, a position they weren't planning on keeping - in my experience it is rare for a family/nanny to part ways during a trial period - so no, neither side would be continuing to interview because both should be assuming the relationship will last.

As for the last question...you are legally allowed to ask those questions but it would probably put off even the best nannies. Instead I would recommend wording your ad appropriately - describe your family as liberal atheists with limited media consumption or however you consider yourselves or whichever points are very important for you. That should be a turn-off for nannies with distinctly opposing opinions and help prevent this type of situation. If you're looking for a new nanny through an agency, tell them you want a liberal/not overly religious/whatever nanny; my agency asks tons of personal questions for nanny applicants so they can match them with the right families ("would you be comfortable working for a two-mother or two-father family?" "Do you actively practice any religion?" "Would you have a problem working for a very conservative or very liberal family?" and the like).

Either the nanny OR the family is ALWAYS "allowed" to end the agreement for any reason, or no reason at all. Hence, the "at will" relationship.

Nannies are NOT obligated to continue in an abusive situation of any sort. If the family isn't living up to their part of the agreement, the nanny SHOULD get another job.

Omg for crying out loud can you learn to read between the lines? Who is talking about an abusive situation?!

Of COURSE either party can terminate the position at will, it's the law, but in an ideal scenario you would have a contract that outlines notice that's expected to be given and severance that is expected to be paid and both sides would do their best to abide by it. The purpose of having a trial period is to make sure you are all on the same page before being (ethically if not legally) tied down to a four-week notice/severance arrangement. You realize it supports the nanny too, right?

OP I don't know if you need to mention it - I suggested you do because like the pp I almost always end up discussing current and social events with the families I work for and it's been in everyone's best interest that we tend to agree (I mean, we don't get in too deep but in surface chatter we are like-minded). But like I said, the agency I work for considers it very important, and according to them that's because a difference of political/social opinion has ended many of their placements (I live in a particularly liberal city). You asked for a way to screen and I suggested one. Dunno what else to tell you, if you don't think it's important to mention why did you ask how to?

How does anything here support the nanny? It doesn't.