trying to enjoy vacation time but still with a baby
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Anonymous
| This is kind of here nor there, but I'm just kicking myself for using two of my very rare vacation days to spend time with my friend when she visits me next week. I love her but the thing is she now has a soon now who is almost the same exact age as my charge. Last time she visited I felt exhausted because I would work ten hours as a nanny, come home, and have to take care of him, too, instead of relaxing like I normally would after work. I had told her I'd help give her a break because she's been kind of depressed being a stay at home Mom. I saw her point, I hated working all day with my charge then taking care of him at night, but this trip I definitely want to enjoy my vacation time! |
Anonymous
| What's she doing when you're taking care of her kid? |
Anonymous
|
OP here. She acts like she doesn't notice when he needs something, she just watches tv or continues with whatever we are doing for fun. A couple times he would even start crying for a bottle and she would ignore it even tho I tried to stall so she would have to help me.
Sorry for the typos in my original post, I'm on my phone. This time I'm going to play with him of course but take a step back when I'm tired and just let him cry til she deals with it. |
Anonymous
Yikes! That's really terrible of your friend. My sister has two kids, and I'll occasionally head to their house immediately after work for family dinners and such. But it's totally different as I just get to be fun Aunt then. I don't have to worry about what they're eating, or if they're getting too much screen time, etc. I just get to have fun with my nieces and pass them off to their parents when they need a diaper change 
Sounds like you need to set some firm boundaries with your friend. Let her know that you've been working very hard hours lately, and while you're happy to hang out with your friend and her DS, you're looking forward to a relaxing weekend where you are not the responsible adult. |
Anonymous
| Be a good friend but explain to her that your job is taking care of a baby and on these two rare days off, you'd really like to sped your time relaxing with her. You can both do the "baby thing" together but please don't let the baby cry waiting for her to tend to him. The baby and you will be miserable. Talk to your friend about your feelings. She probably is under the delusion that you want to care for the baby (my brother was under that delusion until I set him straight). |
Anonymous
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I understand you want to be a good friend to this friend OP and I completely understand that you want to cheer her up as she has been feeling down lately, but she has to understand that you have your own life as well and that you have certain responsibilities to own up to.
To give up two vacation days to care for her child is giving up a lot for her. Is she aware that you would be giving up your own vacation days? If so, how does she feel about that? If I were her, I would feel just awful knowing you were giving up all of that for me. In fact, I would never let a friend of mine do that for me. Hopefully once you let her know, she will tell you the same. If she doesn't, then you are just going to have to let her know that you are hoping to save up those days for YOU time in the future and hope that she understands. |
Anonymous
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Uh, I feel for you OP. I have this happen to me a lot with a few of my friends. I guess most of them just assume since I love their kids that's what I'd want to do all the time. And it really sucks because I do love spending time with them, but there's a reason I don't have my own kids, it's because I need my me time!
Just try taking to her about it. Say you love the baby and helping her out but you also need a break. I know that's easier said than done though. |
Anonymous
| Make a jokey comment like, "I'm looking forward to playing with a baby I can hand to mom for the hard stuff! It's like being my boss! Or Grandma!" |