Ridiculous Mother-In-Law situation with Daughter-In-Law and grandson's nanny
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Anonymous
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My son and daughter-in-law have a terrific nanny for my grandson and they are thrilled to have found her. The nanny is older and probably just a few years younger than I am and has the most beautiful complexion I have ever seen on an older woman. She and I are of basically the same ancestry (anglo, Irish by her last name). Last Friday I commented to the nanny that she had gorgeous skin and asked her what products she used. My Daughter-in-law was in the next room and overheard my question. The nanny told me the name of her moisturizer and that was that.
Later, my daughter-in-law told me I was WAY out of line and put the nanny in an embarrassing situation by asking such a personal question. Come on, seriously?! It's moisturizer not vaginal lubricant!!! The nanny didn't seem embarrassed and just thanked me for the compliment and told me the name of the product. I know that this nanny is a private person and shares very little information about her personal life. And I know my son and daughter-in-law are terrified of losing her. BUT I also know that my daughter-in-law loves to find fault with me. Should I apologize to the nanny next time I see her or let the whole thing drop? Was I out of line asking that question? Don't even younger nannies and their employers talk about skin care products? |
Anonymous
| I never talk about skin care products or makeup with my nanny, no. Apologize to your daughter in law and then let it go. In the future do not ask the nanny any questions that don't pertain to the children. |
Anonymous
| I think your DIL is trying to find fault with you. I doubt anyone would consider a cosmetics question too personal. But in the future I would avoid this situation by only talking to the nanny about your grandson. |
Anonymous
| Tell your DIL you're sorry. But you sound like a lovely person. Try to give your DIL lots of compliments. Maybe she feels badly about having a nanny. Who knows. |
Anonymous
| Your DIL sounds like she is wound too tightly. Is she an MB on this site?? Lol. No your question was not too personal. I haved talked to my MB about any number of things. We aren't sharing every detail of our lives, but we are friendly. I compliment her shoes all the time and ask her where they are from. She has asked about my hair products. I also don't think you need to limit your conversation to just your grandson. How boring that would be! She probably appreciates being treated like a human being and not a baby minding piece of furniture. I would apologize to your DIL and keep it moving. Not a big deal at all. |
Anonymous
| You did nothing wrong and your DIL is ridiculous. Care to share name of product? |
Anonymous
| Your daughter-in-law is being ridiculous. I know I have always appreciated when my nanny family showed interest in me as a person and involved me in conversation that did not revolve the children. You asked a very generic question and complimented the nanny, I can't see any fault with that. You weren't asking her what she was taking for her STD... |
Anonymous
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I am a nanny and would be delighted if grandma complimented my skin!
I don't think you NEED to apologize OP, and certainly not to the nanny, but obviously whatever keeps your DIL happy is advised. If it makes you feel better, I've always had an easy time getting my charges down for naps - the only person in their lives who succeeds, in fact - and my MB's MIL one time said it was probably because I have such large breasts for babies to snuggle on.  My MB was there and looked VERY embarrassed. Sooo, just know others have said far weirder things without doing any damage to the relationship 
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Anonymous
| Nanny here and your DIL is crazy!!! If love it if someone asked me about my products because they think I look so good! |
Anonymous
Hahaha! My MB actually said something of the like to me!!! It was hilarious and not a big deal at all. Your daughter in law needs a chill pill OP. |
Anonymous
She uses an argan oil - her complexion is truly flawless. |
Anonymous
Is not thing to do with your question,the problem your daughter in - law doesn't like you for sure ,because 100 por cent they not like mothers in - law. |
Anonymous
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I'm a nanny and I talk to both MB and DB parents whenever they come down. I love them, I prefer them both over MB and DB. I talk to them about the kids, about my life...ask them about theirs...
Maybe DIL is jealous that you get along better with the nanny that she does? |
Anonymous
| Your DIL is totally ridiculous and should apologize to you for acting a fool. |
Anonymous
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Hahahaha!! I loved the "vaginal lubricant" reference OP!! You have a great sense of humor for sure.
Anyway, your daughter-in-law totally overreacted. You were not out of line at all, in fact I think you may have made this nanny's day by such a wonderful compliment! I know I would have loved it if someone had said I had great skin at such an age. To keep the peace, you can always apologize to your daughter-in-law, but only if you want to keep things civil. By no means is one owed. |