What is my best course of action?

[Anonymous]

My husband and I need to find a child care solution, and I want to make sure we use the right words and venues to be effective.

We have a 15 month old daughter who is very active, healthy and happy. I am about to begin a job part time M-F from 10-2 making $14/hr and am working on studying for graduate school exams and papers. My husband owns his own business that has a brick and mortar location, so though he is somewhat flexible in his schedule he still needs to leave the home to work. For the first 11 months, we took our daughter into the shop with us, but now that she is so active it is impossible. For the last 4 months I have been staying home with her full time, but I, unfortunately, am not well suited for the task- I love, love my daughter, but I have discovered I am not suited to be a stay at home mom. Consequently, I need someone to watch her for about 6-7 hours a day 4 days a week (my husband should be able to watch her one day) so I would have time to get to work, work, and then get a bit of undisrupted studying/writing in. We are pretty young and don't yet make a lot of money, but we are good and loving parents. My in-laws were generous enough to provide a down payment, so we moved into a new neighborhood in W. Springfield and aren't yet super connected in the community. Most of the people on our street are older/retired, so they don't have any childcare advice (or interest in watching our daughter) and the ones that do have kids send them to daycare full time. Unfortunately, we are also the first of our friends in the area to have a child and neither of our families live nearby.

We are not looking for an above and beyond nanny/sitter. We don't care if he/she went to college or runs personal errands while working or puts a movie on from time to time. We do want someone who is loving towards our child and who can be trusted to keep our daughter safe. We are hoping to spend $10 or $11/hr, but I am having a hard time finding this through my online searches and word of mouth- I don't know if I am being unreasonable or looking in the wrong places. I am up for participating in a nanny share (just not hosting because one of our dogs in a grump, and I don't feel comfortable having another person's child around him while I am not there), taking our daughter to an in-home daycare, or having someone come to our place. I would love for her to be around other kids, but if that's not a reasonable expectation, I understand.

Anyway, I appreciate any advice. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Start begging your friends to help you out. Maybe you offer some kind of needed help for them?

[Anonymous]

You might need to let your dog have a new home... If you find anyone who wants to bring their child to your place.

[Anonymous]

I think that a nanny share sounds like a great solution for you. You can check the share boards on this site, or advertise on neighborhood listserves. In a nanny share, you can expect to pay her $18-$22/hour, so $9-$11/hour per family, and you won't have to sell yourself short on expectations for your caregiver. You can find someone who will love your baby, keep them safe, and will stimulate and educate her throughout the day. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I think a nanny share would be a great fit for you and I 100% disagree with the PPs that said you should consider rehoming your dogs -- there are plenty of parents out there willing to host a nanny share and there are plenty of nannies out there that don't have/don't need to bring a child to your house

[Anonymous]

I have a solution that may work for you. Please email me [e-mail]

[Anonymous]

A nanny share or in home day care are often the most affordable/flexible solutions.

[Anonymous]

Nanny share or in-home daycare. Check the forums here, neighborhood listservs, etc.

[Anonymous]

Agree with PPs that a nanny share is the best option: it is the best quality childcare next to having your own nanny and it is the most affordable way to get it. Also, do you have an extra bedroom? Is a live-in an option? They generally charge a lot less but need a room and groceries of their own.

[Anonymous]

OP Here: Thank you all for the advice. I am relieved to hear that this isn't an unreasonable situation. I wanted to make sure I was on the right track and had realistic options available. We are actually starting the process of rehoming our dog which is extremely heartbreaking, but I agree it's the best for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Go to a neighborhood playground during the week, so you can see what's out there.

[Anonymous]

Or have you thought about a stay-at-home mother who stays home caring for her own child...Perhaps she can watch yours as well? That might be feasible.

Also, it seems for the rate you are offering, you are not too strict on what you expect which is cool, like you don't mind so much if the nanny/sitter watches a movie now and then so you might attract someone who likes working for a younger and laid back family like yours. I would, but I am located in CA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Or have you thought about a stay-at-home mother who stays home caring for her own child...Perhaps she can watch yours as well? That might be feasible.

Also, it seems for the rate you are offering, you are not too strict on what you expect which is cool, like you don't mind so much if the nanny/sitter watches a movie now and then so you might attract someone who likes working for a younger and laid back family like yours. I would, but I am located in CA.

You are a perfect example of my issue with CA nannies posting on here giving advice specific to the area/rates. You aren't in this area. You don't know the market rates. What OP wants to pay is very reasonable for a nanny share. She will not get some random nanny who watches movies on the clock.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Or have you thought about a stay-at-home mother who stays home caring for her own child...Perhaps she can watch yours as well? That might be feasible.

Also, it seems for the rate you are offering, you are not too strict on what you expect which is cool, like you don't mind so much if the nanny/sitter watches a movie now and then so you might attract someone who likes working for a younger and laid back family like yours. I would, but I am located in CA.

You are a perfect example of my issue with CA nannies posting on here giving advice specific to the area/rates. You aren't in this area. You don't know the market rates. What OP wants to pay is very reasonable for a nanny share. She will not get some random nanny who watches movies on the clock.

I thought CA-nanny PP was saying that in her state, OP might even be able to find a single-family nanny at that rate (and with her expectations), not that a share nanny paid $10/hr/family would be a poor performer because of an unfair or under-market rate. I think this thread is very much in agreement that OP could find a great nanny-share at $10/$11 an hour.

[Anonymous]

Would you consider hiring a person with personal experience but no nanny experience? I think someone who has raised kids or is the oldest sibling in a large family but is looking for their first nanny position might be a good compromise.