Nanny Share starting soon.. Feeling sick to my stomach.

[Anonymous]

I am starting a nanny share in september. Its with 3 families and I'm starting to feel really nervous about it. The schedule will be crazy and will be difficult to adjust to.

This is VERY confusing and I'm sure I will get flamed for it
Family A is great! I have been with them for a while now and i feel we are on the same page
Family B is ok/good. Having a few issues with them. Only been with them for 2 months but Im not clicking with the oldest (he will be in kindergarten in september) Mom is paying the share rate which is equivalent to daycare but expecting a nanny. Im having a hard time with it as I really am only getting chunk change. For example my house is on the way to work for DB. On days i have both family A&B family B drops off at my house and we drive together to family A. They live at top of the mountain and come september no care will take place at their house. for the first month i was driving to their home on days i had just family B. It was draining my fuel tank so i asked if they could be dropped off at my place every day i had them. Originally she said yes, Then today she says the kids want pancakes so can i please come there for tomorrow. I said i would be happy to make them at my place as its in between paydays for me and i don't have the gas to get up the mountain. She said well part of having a nanny is for the kids to be in their own home and they need that tomorrow. She said please come pick them up and then take them out for the playgrounds for the day.
I totally understand this and agree in most cases HOWEVER she is not paying me enough to be a nanny literally. When I have the kids we stay out of the house all day. We pack a picnic and go to playground, water park, library, museum ect! Starting in July the kids will be dropped off at my place every day and I just understand.

Family C will be my most consistent family but we are having huge communication issues. they dont start til September so we have time but we haven't even signed a contract yet and Im just feeling like daycare may have been a better bet for them. they are wanting pick up and drop off but they live 5 minutes from the host family (familyA) and are on the same start and end time. So it will be making my day longer to do double transition with both parents.

Bottom line is Im really thinking i want to drop family B and C and find just ONE family. Not sure how to do that however. Do i ask family A for advice?

Ahhh feels good to get this all... what have i gotten myself into>????

[Anonymous]

You need to learn how to say "no" with confidence.

[Anonymous]

You need to learn how to say "no" with confidence.

[Anonymous]

Obviously you are having second (and third!) doubts about this OP and since it is still early enough for you to bow out gracefully, I highly suggest you do so NOW. And as soon as possible.

This whole sharing thing doesn't sound like it will work for you and you sound like you work best w/just one family and that is fine.

I would stick w/Family A, and let Families B and C know that you have had a change of heart. Giving them three mos. notice will hopefully give them enough time to find another nanny to do a share w/both of them.

Honestly, I would think doing a share for three families would be a nightmare.

I think your best bet is to stay away from nanny shares at this point and just work for single families.

[Anonymous]

OP just say no. If you are worried about losing the job/relationship remember that respect goes both ways, why work for someone who won't respect your need for adequate pay and reasonable boundaries? You will find another job.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand the complaints about family C's start and end time.

It sounds like you aren't in the DC area with the mountain comments, but I don't understand why you're insisting they drop off their kid. That isn't the norm for nannies.

Honestly, it sounds like you really want out of this share. But can family A afford you by themselves? If they're doing a share with two families, they probably don't want to pay for their own nanny.

[Anonymous]

Stick with A until you find another match. B and C have tons of time to do something else. Do the right thing here, OP.
Doormat nannies are bad nannies.
(It's true.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to learn how to say "no" with confidence.

Yes,the Nannie is right!! Just say NO.

[Anonymous]

How much is each family paying you per hr ?

[Anonymous]

MB here. This share setup sounds like a nightmare for you, and a potentially waaaay too complicated scenario for the parents comfort.

I'd totally support you changing course in some way. Pick the family that you like and know the best, and have the best working relationship with, and build from there. Put the other two families in touch w/ each other and let them go build/find a share solution themselves.

Three families, let alone all the logistical hassles these pose, seems really really tough.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

MB here. This sounds like a very poorly structured nanny share, and that the families don't understand the limitations that come with such an arrangement. From a family's perspective it's somewhere between having your own nanny and daycare., i.e. more individualised home-based care than daycare, but not necessarily in your own home and with the need to compromise so that all the activities etc are broadly suitable for all the kids. So Family B is being unrealistic to expect you to be flexible from one day to the next as if you only work for them if you are also looking after other children that day.

You can either decide that it just doesn't work and stick with Family A only, if possible, or if not then find one full-time job, or the third option is to set out for all the families the way that things need to work.

I'm not clear where the care is going to happen in September, but if you decide to go ahead and try to make it work, you should probably present two plans, one for the summer and one starting September. It should not involve you driving all over the place doing pick-ups and drop-offs if you are working for two or more families at the same time, unless you are happy with a certain amount of that, which you can of course build in - I think the key is to have some consistency. There should probably be one main site of care identified on a daily or weekly basis (e.g. sometimes families switch from one home to the other every week, or if you work two days for one family and three for another, you could be in two different homes per week). The key is to have some kind of schedule/routine, and above all else, if they expect you to drive as part of the job they should paying for your mileage!

This sounds tricky so if you really think it's not going to work you need to act soon so that the families have time to sort out something else and you have time to find something more suitable. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Thank you everyone!! Had a chat with family B and I thibk we are good. I will need to have a backbone with family C. Difficult on email and next to impossible in person. I'm a people pleaser.

I 100% agree. I would rather be making less money enjoying my job then making tones of money and be overworked and taken advantage of.

Also for mileage. Do they claim that on taxes? Family C is saying they will be

[Anonymous]

Mileage claimed on taxes? Never heard of that. My family always reimburses me with cash for that.

[Anonymous]

It's like a gas allowance. Each family will be paying me 40 to contibute to gas

[Anonymous]

Family A just pays me cash. Family B doesn't pay at all as of yet and family C wants to claim it