Apparently I'm doing it wrong with nanny and young baby.

[Anonymous]

Hi all. After reading some recent threads, I'm wondering if we are setting ourselves up for a problem. I'm a FTM to a 2 month old. Her nanny has been with is for a month. During this stage, I've let her run errands, meet friends for lunch, etc as DD is a great Napper in her stroller and at 2 months, other than eating, sleeping, diaper changes, tummy time, and engaging with her, there isn't a whole lot to do. I trust her nanny has good judgement and when she says she doesn't take DD around sick people or crowded areas, I believe her.

When we hired her, we said we'd redo the contract when DS was around 6 months because activities would be changing and commitments from the nanny would be changing (ie making food for baby, taking her to more scheduled activities, etc).

However, after reading some posts from MBs saying they'd never let their kids nanny run personal errands or meet up with nanny friends with a newborn, I'm wondering if what we are doing isn't the norm and we are going to be in for a big problem as DD gets older.

Should we talk with her again about what future expectations are going to be?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi all. After reading some recent threads, I'm wondering if we are setting ourselves up for a problem. I'm a FTM to a 2 month old. Her nanny has been with is for a month. During this stage, I've let her run errands, meet friends for lunch, etc as DD is a great Napper in her stroller and at 2 months, other than eating, sleeping, diaper changes, tummy time, and engaging with her, there isn't a whole lot to do. I trust her nanny has good judgement and when she says she doesn't take DD around sick people or crowded areas, I believe her.

When we hired her, we said we'd redo the contract when DS was around 6 months because activities would be changing and commitments from the nanny would be changing (ie making food for baby, taking her to more scheduled activities, etc).

However, after reading some posts from MBs saying they'd never let their kids nanny run personal errands or meet up with nanny friends with a newborn, I'm wondering if what we are doing isn't the norm and we are going to be in for a big problem as DD gets older.

Should we talk with her again about what future expectations are going to be?

Absolutely yes. Do it sooner than later.

[Anonymous]

Why are you worrying what a bunch of anonymous people say on here?

What are YOU comfortable with? Do YOU trust your nanny? What would YOU like the guidelines to be? That is all that matters.

If you genuinely need input on what is common/standard, call the best agency in your area and ask them. Many will do some basic counseling without requiring you sign on with them and will be more legitimate advisors that anyone on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

I think reevaluatig when you are six months in works just fine. But it might be wise to mention something at the 3-month mark, like "Enjoy that while it lasts! Before you know it Baby will need to be napping in her crib and doing tummy time in between."

Have you planned for a raise at 1 year? If so, I think it would be easy to make age 1 the cut-off for personal errands. I think she should cut back at 6 months because the baby should be in a car or stroller all day and because baby will need to be getting into a nap routine at home and getting active floor time during awake time, but if once or twice a week nanny takes baby to the store or post office between naps that's probably a nice change for both of them. By age 1, though, your kid gets much less out of errands and the nanny can get adult interaction at story time or music class.

I would think about what works for you and then just address it at the 3 month mark.

[Anonymous]

I think you have set a bad precedent and be prepared for pushback from her. She has been manipulating you into thinking this is all ok stuff to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you have set a bad precedent and be prepared for pushback from her. She has been manipulating you into thinking this is all ok stuff to do.

Why isn't it? I started when my charges were 8 months old and my MB WANTED me to take them out on errands, etc. We went out to lunch 2-3 times a week with my roommate and ran to target or cvs, etc. When they are that little, why would it be an issue?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you have set a bad precedent and be prepared for pushback from her. She has been manipulating you into thinking this is all ok stuff to do.

Why isn't it? I started when my charges were 8 months old and my MB WANTED me to take them out on errands, etc. We went out to lunch 2-3 times a week with my roommate and ran to target or cvs, etc. When they are that little, why would it be an issue?

8 weeks***

[Anonymous]

Sounds to me like OP found herself a responsible professional. Why mess up a good thing? Don't get crazy on your baby now.

[Anonymous]

I know it sounds like you are getting a wide array of opinions but due to anonymous posting you are actually seeing only a couple of people who post multiple times to a single thread. Your agreement with your nanny should reflect your needs. Because something like running errands isn't a major deal it can be re-evaluated at any time. Unless you are having trouble then no need to change anything now.

[Anonymous]

What is wrong with running a few personal errands with a baby/toddler/child? I was a nanny and used to do this, and meet friends for lunch sometimes, although it was usually other nanny friends who also had kids. We still had time for classes, singing, reading etc. There are plenty of hours in a day and days in a week to do everything.
Now I am a Mom and don't need a nanny, If i did work FT though I would be ok with my nanny doing the same things.

[Anonymous]

When your DD gets older, it will be harder for your nanny to do all these things, so if you hired somebody who you trust is a professional, she probably will naturally cut back

[Anonymous]

OP, spend a week in your house with your baby. Dont meet anyone for lunch and dont run any errands. You cannot do any personal house stuff either, pretend you are your nanny. You can only do "educational and stimulating" things with your child.
Let us know how fun it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, spend a week in your house with your baby. Dont meet anyone for lunch and dont run any errands. You cannot do any personal house stuff either, pretend you are your nanny. You can only do "educational and stimulating" things with your child.
Let us know how fun it is.

It's a job. It doesn't have to be fun.

I am a nanny who has take. Kids with me on errands many times--for the family. I think it's beneficial for the kids to practice going on errands during the day, because it is a low-pressure situation. If they have a fit and we have to leave the grocery store to make a disciplinary point, I can do that, because I can try again tomorrow. I also think a well-planned outing can be good for kids of any age (meaning it's timed well in their day and I'm prepared to wngage them with things like "grocery lists" made of pictures and initial letters of some of their favorite foods). The problem with personal errands is that it is too easy for the nanny to slip into a mode where she is there to get her stuff done and is just dragging the kids along.

My point is that it is hardly unreasonable to expect the kids to be the number one priority, since their care and education is what she is being paid for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi all. After reading some recent threads, I'm wondering if we are setting ourselves up for a problem. I'm a FTM to a 2 month old. Her nanny has been with is for a month. During this stage, I've let her run errands, meet friends for lunch, etc as DD is a great Napper in her stroller and at 2 months, other than eating, sleeping, diaper changes, tummy time, and engaging with her, there isn't a whole lot to do. I trust her nanny has good judgement and when she says she doesn't take DD around sick people or crowded areas, I believe her.

When we hired her, we said we'd redo the contract when DS was around 6 months because activities would be changing and commitments from the nanny would be changing (ie making food for baby, taking her to more scheduled activities, etc).

However, after reading some posts from MBs saying they'd never let their kids nanny run personal errands or meet up with nanny friends with a newborn, I'm wondering if what we are doing isn't the norm and we are going to be in for a big problem as DD gets older.

Should we talk with her again about what future expectations are going to be?

Lady let the nanny do her job,you are too much,why you hire her?PLEASE!!!

[Anonymous]

You sound like a good boss. Stay that way don't turn into some bosses on here who are awful.