Nanny share with children 5 months apart?

[Anonymous]

We think we have an opportunity for a nanny share that is a good fit for many reasons. The only potential drawback I see is that our children will be 5 months apart in age (mine 9 months, the other 4 months when we start). Does anyone see this as an issue I might not be thinking of? or have a similar situation that is positive?

[Anonymous]

What exactly are your concerns?

[Anonymous]

It is certainly doable, but as your child is the older one, will you be okay with your DC and his activities being slightly limited by the younger child's needs and schedule? I'm in a share right now where the child are about 5 months apart. The younger one still takes 2 naps, and I have to choose classes and outings based on what I feel she can handle. It hasn't really been a huge issue, and even less so as they both get older, but it required some understanding on the part of the family with the older kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is certainly doable, but as your child is the older one, will you be okay with your DC and his activities being slightly limited by the younger child's needs and schedule? I'm in a share right now where the child are about 5 months apart. The younger one still takes 2 naps, and I have to choose classes and outings based on what I feel she can handle. It hasn't really been a huge issue, and even less so as they both get older, but it required some understanding on the part of the family with the older kid.

OP here - this would be my concern, that my child may be limited in activities because of the younger one. I guess the outings would be after the younger one is finished napping, I just hope it wouldn't be a three hour nap and limit their time out. Just those sort of things.

And also, would they play together? I think most "playing" for the first year or two is parallel play in that they don't really interact together, but correct me if I'm wrong? At 2.5 she'll probably switch to preschool so I'm really just talking about the first couple of years.

[Anonymous]

they don't play much together until closer to 3 yr old in my experience. I do a share where the girls are one year apart...so age 2 and 1. I spend a lot of the day saying "share please" since it's a lot of grabbing what the other one has. It gets better as they get older but the reality is they're still one year apart. the older is an excellent talker but less physical (late walker) and the younger is VERY physical (early walker) so they are actually learning things from each other and well matched with what they're physically capable of doing. I think it would be harder to do a share with two babies so I actually prefer the larger age gap, but most parents seem to want a share w/ a same aged baby which seems odd to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is certainly doable, but as your child is the older one, will you be okay with your DC and his activities being slightly limited by the younger child's needs and schedule? I'm in a share right now where the child are about 5 months apart. The younger one still takes 2 naps, and I have to choose classes and outings based on what I feel she can handle. It hasn't really been a huge issue, and even less so as they both get older, but it required some understanding on the part of the family with the older kid.

OP here - this would be my concern, that my child may be limited in activities because of the younger one. I guess the outings would be after the younger one is finished napping, I just hope it wouldn't be a three hour nap and limit their time out. Just those sort of things.

And also, would they play together? I think most "playing" for the first year or two is parallel play in that they don't really interact together, but correct me if I'm wrong? At 2.5 she'll probably switch to preschool so I'm really just talking about the first couple of years.

In my share they certainly do play together. The older child loves to "teach" the younger one her games, and what to do with certain toys, and they laugh and giggle with each other all day. I also have molded their schedules so that the second nap, and the older one's only nap line up, and the younger one only sleeps for an hour max in the morning. I use that time to do a quiet age appropriate activity with the older one like reading books, play doh, coloring, puzzles. Its nice for her to have some quiet one on one time with me. I also switch it up, and sometime the younger one will take her morning nap in the stroller, while I let the older one play at the park. I don't think 5 months is a huge deal at all, and the nap issue is temporary. The fit with the families needs and the nanny are what are most important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is certainly doable, but as your child is the older one, will you be okay with your DC and his activities being slightly limited by the younger child's needs and schedule? I'm in a share right now where the child are about 5 months apart. The younger one still takes 2 naps, and I have to choose classes and outings based on what I feel she can handle. It hasn't really been a huge issue, and even less so as they both get older, but it required some understanding on the part of the family with the older kid.

OP here - this would be my concern, that my child may be limited in activities because of the younger one. I guess the outings would be after the younger one is finished napping, I just hope it wouldn't be a three hour nap and limit their time out. Just those sort of things.

And also, would they play together? I think most "playing" for the first year or two is parallel play in that they don't really interact together, but correct me if I'm wrong? At 2.5 she'll probably switch to preschool so I'm really just talking about the first couple of years.

In my share they certainly do play together. The older child loves to "teach" the younger one her games, and what to do with certain toys, and they laugh and giggle with each other all day. I also have molded their schedules so that the second nap, and the older one's only nap line up, and the younger one only sleeps for an hour max in the morning. I use that time to do a quiet age appropriate activity with the older one like reading books, play doh, coloring, puzzles. Its nice for her to have some quiet one on one time with me. I also switch it up, and sometime the younger one will take her morning nap in the stroller, while I let the older one play at the park. I don't think 5 months is a huge deal at all, and the nap issue is temporary. The fit with the families needs and the nanny are what are most important.

OP here. Thank you for this! Really nice to hear. Hopefully we'll find someone like you!

[Anonymous]

My only true concern would be that hopefully the nanny you hire is someone who has extensive infant experience, not some wet behind the ears 20-something yr. old college kid.

This is a HUGE undertaking and requires great multi-tasking skill. GREAT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My only true concern would be that hopefully the nanny you hire is someone who has extensive infant experience, not some wet behind the ears 20-something yr. old college kid.

This is a HUGE undertaking and requires great multi-tasking skill. GREAT.

I'm 13:32 and 18:35. I am also a 20-something college student. Yes my job requires a great amount of multitasking and skill, but age really has nothing to do with it. Hopefully OP will find a great nanny and not limit her pool by making ignorant generalizations and assumptions.

[Anonymous]

When our nanny share started, the kids were 3 months and 10 months and it has worked out well so far. It helps that my daughter (the older child) is fascinated with babies and loves being around "her" baby during the day. It also helps that we have an awesome nanny who can keep them both entertained at once. Before the younger child started solids, the nanny would bring my daughter's high chair in the living room during meals and she had fun watching the baby do tummy time. Now they hang out in their high chairs together at meal time, and the younger child finds it hilarious to watch my daughter eat. The girls may not be old enough to play together, but they are very sweet together. I will say that not all nannies are comfortable with the age difference. One woman we interviewed said at the interview that it just wouldn't work because of the age difference. But we lucked out and found someone who's great with them both.