Reining in a laissez fare situation

[Anonymous]

I would call the nanny and tell her she could come late some days or I would come home early and let her leave an hour early. I think it happened so often our schedule started to feel very laissez fare. Eventually she would call me to see whether I needed her on time that day. It seemed so silly to have us both there to see over one little baby. Now, one year later I wish I would have been wiser about it.

First, she moved about 30 minutes away in February and continually arrives at the later time we settled into, in part because she now has a long bus ride and train ride whereas before she lived within walking distance. I think one reason she felt comfortable moving so far is because she had flexibility with her arrival time. Second, I got a promotion at my job into a position with less flexibility. I've told the nanny about the change but three weeks in and she still comes 10 to 25 minutes late every day depending on how quickly she can get through the Starbucks line on the way to our house. Usually she has brought me a coffee as well. What seemed like such a nice, relaxed relationship is now just frustrating.

[Anonymous]

I was in a similar situation, at first it seemed great because the mom would always tell me I could go home or go home for a bit and come back. It was always within my normal working hours so basically it was just free money, and I only lived 10-15 minutes away by tram but after a month or two it got really annoying. I'd rather just stay at the house working all day rather than shuttling back and forth and spending 2 hours at home just to come back after his nap. And then same thing started happening in the mornings, I think she was just trying to be nice, but I hated waking up at 8am to get ready and then get a text that I can come two hours later than normal. I just hated the whole situation all around even thought I got the same pay every month and never felt like I was being taken advantage of.

So that said, she may feel the way I did. Best thing would probably just sitting down and having the talk. Thats the only way to handle any of these issues on this forum. Tell her things have slipped a bit over the last few months and you really need her to show up on time. She may be happier too.

[Anonymous]

I'm a nanny and have never once been late for work. My employers were late once and could tell that I wasn't pleased. It never happened again.

We have such a nice working relationship - my employers and I - and being prompt is a sign of respect on all of our parts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a nanny and have never once been late for work. My employers were late once and could tell that I wasn't pleased. It never happened again.

We have such a nice working relationship - my employers and I - and being prompt is a sign of respect on all of our parts.

Congrats but not exactly the situation described here. Parents have not been late but have been very inconsistent in their expectations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a nanny and have never once been late for work. My employers were late once and could tell that I wasn't pleased. It never happened again.

We have such a nice working relationship - my employers and I - and being prompt is a sign of respect on all of our parts.

Congrats but not exactly the situation described here. Parents have not been late but have been very inconsistent in their expectations.

I agree but I was expressing how much better it is when expectations are perfectly clear. I have a better relationship with my employers because we are rigid about time rather than easy-going about it.

[Anonymous]

Hello there! You don't have to try to write in French to sound wow . It's not laissez fare but laissez faire. Lollll you need to take some class. Looollllll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hello there! You don't have to try to write in French to sound wow . It's not laissez fare but laissez faire. Lollll you need to take some class. Looollllll

I am going to guess it was an auto correct situation going on. But don't you sound lovely! Are you a nanny or a boss?

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you nanny hasn't adjusted to the lessened flexibility in her work day as much as you need her to. I would sit down with her and just reiterate that while the past year has been great your new job/position means that you no longer have the same flexibility in hours and that you really need her to be on time at X everyday.

[Anonymous]

MB here. I would address this very directly, without blame, and right now.

Dear Jane, I need to talk to you about something that is becoming a problem. My circumstances with the new position have changed and I do not have the flexibility in scheduling that I used to have. I now have to be out the door reliably by 8 am. That means I can't be flexible about your start/arrival time the way I could be last year. I realize we had gotten into a pattern where it seemed like the first half hour was not so important, but that has changed and now it is. Is it possible for you to arrive reliably at 8 from now on?"

If she says yes (even if with grumbling) then great. If she says no, then you need to reiterate the non-negotiability and say that if you were hiring her today, or if you had to hire someone new, this would be a non-negotiable so if she's telling you (or showing you) she can't or won't do it then you need a new nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you nanny hasn't adjusted to the lessened flexibility in her work day as much as you need her to. I would sit down with her and just reiterate that while the past year has been great your new job/position means that you no longer have the same flexibility in hours and that you really need her to be on time at X everyday.

+1. Let her know the situation has changed and she needs to arrive on time now. If she can't adjust, you need to find someone else.