Hire even though she wants to get pregnant?

[Anonymous]

I interviewed a great candidate yesterday evening. Really upbeat, seemingly smart, etc etc. I'd love to hire her right now but there is one looming problem. When I asked her what her long term plans were she said she hopes to start a family in the near future. Would any of you ever get involved with a nanny who was trying to get pregnant? Seems like a lot of effort just for me to end up letting her go anyways when she's a couple months along.

[Anonymous]

No, I wouldn't hire a nanny who was trying to get pregnant. It's too hard on children to switch nannies so often.

I actually have posted before on the benefits of hiring only older nannies - this is one of them. Our nanny is 59 and the best nanny we have ever had. She was a teacher prior to becoming a nanny and has more energy and enthusiasm than I have! She also is 100% NO DRAMA and she never texts or talks on her phone when she is with our child. And, to your point, she is not going to get pregnant!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, I wouldn't hire a nanny who was trying to get pregnant. It's too hard on children to switch nannies so often.

I actually have posted before on the benefits of hiring only older nannies - this is one of them. Our nanny is 59 and the best nanny we have ever had. She was a teacher prior to becoming a nanny and has more energy and enthusiasm than I have! She also is 100% NO DRAMA and she never texts or talks on her phone when she is with our child. And, to your point, she is not going to get pregnant!

Good points, I never thought about the phone thing. You kind of get to the point where you assume everyone texts constantly, I forgot about the older generation! My only concern would be finding that right older person that still has the energy to run around with little kids and isn't to arthritic to sit on the floor.

[Anonymous]

How old is your child, OP?
And are YOU trying to get pregnant?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, I wouldn't hire a nanny who was trying to get pregnant. It's too hard on children to switch nannies so often.

I actually have posted before on the benefits of hiring only older nannies - this is one of them. Our nanny is 59 and the best nanny we have ever had. She was a teacher prior to becoming a nanny and has more energy and enthusiasm than I have! She also is 100% NO DRAMA and she never texts or talks on her phone when she is with our child. And, to your point, she is not going to get pregnant!

Good points, I never thought about the phone thing. You kind of get to the point where you assume everyone texts constantly, I forgot about the older generation! My only concern would be finding that right older person that still has the energy to run around with little kids and isn't to arthritic to sit on the floor.

Yes, it is about finding the right older nanny although our nanny, as I said, has more energy than I ever had and I'm thirty years younger than she is! Our nanny spends her life on the floor with our three year old and runs after him with ease. She clearly has more energy and interest than any of the other nannies, most much younger, that I see talking in the park. Plus our nanny is the only woman I have ever seen (myself included) who pushes a stroller while NOT talking/texting on her phone.

[Anonymous]

I have to agree that I would not hire a nanny who was trying to get pregnant or was even thinking about it. My morning sickness was horrid - if I'd been working as a nanny during my first trimester I would have been calling in sick more often than showing up to work.

I LOVE the older nanny idea, PP. My MIL is 62 and still runs marathons so I'm not too concerned about the energy issue - it all depends on the woman rather than the age. How did you find your nanny?

[Anonymous]

While I agree in principle with the expressed sentiment,
we can all imagine the outrage if these same MBs
were themselves the target of such discrimination.

How ironic.
One more way how these women will fight for their own rights, but deny the same rights to another woman.

[Anonymous]

I have no problem hiring a young nanny. But when someone answers the "what are your long term plans" question with "I want to start a family soon" in ANY profession, I would not hire them. Whether or not they mean it this way, it implies that as soon as they have a child, they will stop working.

[Anonymous]

Hey, I'm on board with the older nanny concept 100%! Sign me up!

I'm sick of the constant phone/texting, the drama and the issues of the younger nanny, too. Plus no one at any age could have less energy than my daughter's current 25 year old nanny.


BTW I know it's terrible to say but I would never hire a nanny who told me she was planning to get pregnant. In fact, after reading this thread, I want one of those post-menopausal nannies who can't even get pregnant accidentally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have no problem hiring a young nanny. But when someone answers the "what are your long term plans" question with "I want to start a family soon" in ANY profession, I would not hire them. Whether or not they mean it this way, it implies that as soon as they have a child, they will stop working.

This! Not only does it imply the intention to quit working, but my hypothetical reproductive plans are non of my employer's concern. You would never answer "what are your long term plans" with "I plan to get engaged/get married/buy a house/retire to florida" because none of it is relevant to the job at all. So, personally I wouldn't hire this nanny because her response was pretty unprofessional.

[Anonymous]

I know it's awful to say but I would also not hire a nanny who said her plans were to be pregnant and start a family of her own soon. Yes, it's unfair and in theory I'd like to think I wouldn't discriminate based on a nanny's plans to get pregnant but let's be realistic. It's not fair to my children to hire a nanny who they will be attached to who then may get pregnant in the next year and decide to be a stay at home mom. No one knows what may happen when you hire a new nanny but in the best interest of the children I have to take my chances with the best option. There are nannies here all the time talking about how awful it is for children when there is a lot of turnover so why wouldn't we, as parents, do everything to avoid that. I know it's completely unfair but this does happen in other jobs as well.

[Anonymous]

OP what were you getting at when you asked this question? I'm a married nanny in my mid 20's. I would hope that if I find myself looking for a job that I am not facing such prejudice. I do intend to start a family in the near future, but I do not feel that it is any business of a prospective employer, and I would not answer any direct questions about it. Your question was more vague, and I would have answered it from a more career plans perspective than personal plans. Also, women of childbearing age get pregnant accidentally. You cannot truly plan for this, so please do not resort to stupid stereotypes to make your hiring decisions. Age means literally nothing.

[Anonymous]

It's up to you, OP. FWIW I am a younger nanny (31), also a former teacher with a lot of energy, and I don't plan to have kids for at least 5 years - but if I were, I'd be open about it like your candidate was because I want to be upfront and honest from the get-go. Parents who are thinking they might move toward daycare in a year won't be put off by her plans, while those who want a long term commitment will consider her unsuitable. She knows this and that is why she told you openly - so it wouldn't be a bitter shock if you hired her and she became pregnant and quit. If you want someone who can make more than a one year commitment, this is not the nanny for you. If one year is good enough for now, she sounds like she'd be great. (Incidentally when I took my current job both myself and my employers agreed one year was how long we wanted the arrangement to last - for different reasons. We are now moving into year three with a new baby to boot and neither of us wants to end our partnership now. Basically you never know and just have to go with your instincts on this!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hey, I'm on board with the older nanny concept 100%! Sign me up!

I'm sick of the constant phone/texting, the drama and the issues of the younger nanny, too. Plus no one at any age could have less energy than my daughter's current 25 year old nanny.


BTW I know it's terrible to say but I would never hire a nanny who told me she was planning to get pregnant. In fact, after reading this thread, I want one of those post-menopausal nannies who can't even get pregnant accidentally.

Those post menopausal nannies are the ones sitting on their ass at the park, talking on the phone and to other nannies, yelling at your kids from the bench. They are the ones with short fuses berating children at story time for doing nothing more than behaving like kids will. They are the ones that are jaded by many years in this industry, and mostly in it because this is all they can do. They are the ones only interested in hanging out at the park with their nanny friends and not planning any actual enrichment. You can be lazy about screening and training your employees by hiring based on stereotypes, or you can actually figure out what it is that you want in a candidate and work to find it, realizing that that nanny could be 20 or she could be 60.

[Anonymous]

I'm a nanny and I'm embarrassed to admit that even I wouldn't hire a nanny for my children who stated that she was getting ready to start a family. That nanny should try to get a job in a preschool where she'll have more flexibility.

As to the other discussion point - while it is true that age has little to do with the quality of a nanny - older nannies cannot physically get pregnant so they have us beat on that score.