3 year old milestones not being hit

[Anonymous]

I nanny for a 3 year old and the parents attitude towards her is strange. She is not potty trained, doesn't dress herself or even know how to pull up her own pants, still uses a pacifier and whines about everything. When I have told them I'm happy to help with potty training they just say oh well maybe. they asked me to help once and I spent the whole day with her and she was peeing on the toilet and very excited about it.

When I came back over the weekend they said they were too busy to try it. They have a strange attitude with her older brother also. His teacher has repeatedly suggested he stay back and repeat his kindergarten year because he is not ready for 1st grade and they keep refusing saying he will feel like an outcast if he's the oldest in his grade. ? Its like they are in denial about their children. Is it me or should an almost 4 year old be potty training? She is going to be 4 in 2 short months. The 18 month old I used to watch was dressing herself and telling us she had to use the bathroom. I don't think there's anything wrong with these children, I think it is literally laziness on these parents behalf. Is this a hopeless situation?

[Anonymous]

Every child is different. I started PT at 12 months but we didn't really get trained till 4. It sucked... I literally tried for 3 years. Dressing... same thing. One day she just did it... no help. If I were you, I'd focus on what I am doing and spend time working on PT and dressing as well as writing, scissors and things like letters, shapes, colors, etc. I'd only allow a pacifier for naps only (if she naps).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every child is different. I started PT at 12 months but we didn't really get trained till 4. It sucked... I literally tried for 3 years. Dressing... same thing. One day she just did it... no help. If I were you, I'd focus on what I am doing and spend time working on PT and dressing as well as writing, scissors and things like letters, shapes, colors, etc. I'd only allow a pacifier for naps only (if she naps).

Are you a nanny or a parent?

[Anonymous]

You are either going to have to take charge of the situation and have a huge discussion with them or find a new job. These parents are doing a huge disservice to their children and you can either go along with them or have the discussion.

If they decide not to do anything about it, then you need to find a new job.

[Anonymous]

These poor children are being crippled by their parents. You know there's some horrible mental illness here, don't you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These poor children are being crippled by their parents. You know there's some horrible mental illness here, don't you?

Good lord.

I agree the parents are lazy but that doesn't translate to "horrible mental illness".

The kids will probably turn out just fine. We all get a little too worked up about when things SHOULD be done, what kids SHOULD know how to do, how parents SHOULD behave, etc... The kids will be potty trained before kindergarten, they'll learn how to dress themselves. The kids will drive this themselves, because the parents aren't. Maybe they'll end up w/ issues or maybe they'll end up really independent people.

Either way - if you don't agree with and can't abide the parenting style and choices then you need to find another job. They are not abusing or harming their children - they're just not pushing them to learn. That isn't criminal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These poor children are being crippled by their parents. You know there's some horrible mental illness here, don't you?

Good lord.

I agree the parents are lazy but that doesn't translate to "horrible mental illness".

The kids will probably turn out just fine. We all get a little too worked up about when things SHOULD be done, what kids SHOULD know how to do, how parents SHOULD behave, etc... The kids will be potty trained before kindergarten, they'll learn how to dress themselves. The kids will drive this themselves, because the parents aren't. Maybe they'll end up w/ issues or maybe they'll end up really independent people.

Either way - if you don't agree with and can't abide the parenting style and choices then you need to find another job. They are not abusing or harming their children - they're just not pushing them to learn. That isn't criminal.

No, it's not criminal, but it certainly is neglectful, to say the least.