Love my employer but hate their nasty house...

[Anonymous]

Really torn about this situation. My employer does not expect me to do housekeeping and has even gone out of their way to tell me my only job to provide care for their baby. But, I and the baby do have to be in the mess for 11 hours every day.

In fairness, both parents are very busy and I myself don't have a spotless home. But two or three days of dirty dishes, gross toilets from the poorly trained toddler (who I don't take care of), molding food in the fridge, bugs in every room (no roaches yet but lots of other insects). I have even folded their laundry or washed a sink of dishes on occasion to be helpful. But that is not cutting it.

My sense is that any professional needs to have good communication skills so they can address workplace issues, nannies included. However, when it comes to someones personal life the task is a bit trickier. So my question is more whether any other nannies have had to deal with this issue and how they navigated the conversation.

[Anonymous]

Do you have a review coming up? I would address it then. "As Larla gets more mobile, I really feel she would benefit from a more organized environment. Obviously, you are busy professionals, but would you consider hiring a monthly cleaning service? I am concerned about X, Y and Z sanitary issues (bugs, mold, etc.) affecting Larla's health."

Now obviously, they may take offense and decide to let you go, but if you are willing to quit over this environment, then there is nothing to lose by asking for a solution.

[Anonymous]

Was their house a wreck at the interview? If so, you knew that coming in. I loved a family that I interviewed for but I turned down their offer because their house was a complete disaster and I didn't want to work in they environment.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the advice, that is a great idea - describing the impact on their baby's well being will be more persuasive than just explaining how uncomfortable it makes me. As for the conditions when I interviewed, they interviewed me in only one room and I did not have a tour.

They are really great people so I anticipate a well-worded conversation could resolve the issue. As for quitting, I could but then I would be walking away from the baby who would still have to sit in all that muck. Quitting is always the last resort, only if mature conversation can't fix things would I be willing to walk out on a family.

[Anonymous]

If it were me and I had to be there, I would slowly start to clean it and ask them to get a maid twice a month to supplement what you are doing and to clean the bathrooms and big stuff. Tell them that you love working for them and do not expect the house to be spotless, understand they are busy but are concerned with some of the mess and clutter with a baby and toddler in the house.

[Anonymous]

You're absolutely correct that addressing this workplace concern is much different than most workplace concerns because this is someone's personal space...Their beloved home. Whatever you say about their abode, they will most definitely be offended so you need to proceed with caution if you want to keep relations good.

If I were you, I wouldn't say a word. Yes, it sounds gross and nasty (I am a clean freak), but I would just try to suck it up if I really needed the job, was paid well and loved the kids. Really.

There is no way you can approach them about the cleanliness of their home without stepping on some toes.

Dropping little hints may help, but most likely won't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have a review coming up? I would address it then. "As Larla gets more mobile, I really feel she would benefit from a more organized environment. Obviously, you are busy professionals, but would you consider hiring a monthly cleaning service? I am concerned about X, Y and Z sanitary issues (bugs, mold, etc.) affecting Larla's health."

Now obviously, they may take offense and decide to let you go, but if you are willing to quit over this environment, then there is nothing to lose by asking for a solution.

I agree with this advice. And I also agree with other posters that this is a pretty delicate matter to address.

Maybe you could try a couple of small steps driven by creating a clean space for the baby to explore:

- could we keep some clorox wipes in the bathrooms and help little Johnny learn to clean up after he uses the toilet?
- could we designate one or two areas that we keep organized and clean so when little Jane starts crawling there are a couple of areas that are maintained at a level for that? I'd be happy to help carve out those spaces. I know you all are so busy - would a cleaning service occasionally be an option and then I can help keep the baby's areas well maintained in the interim?

Good luck. I hope they are receptive (and embarrassed!)