Letting Nanny Go During Trial Period

[Anonymous]

Nannies, parents, any advice for how to handle this situation? The nanny we hired for our 7-month old twins has been great. She started two weeks ago, and is reliable and does everything we ask of her. Our daughters seem to be OK with her too. Though I jus returned to work, I have realized that I can't bear to be away from our babies. I will be resigning (and becoming a stay at home mom) in one week. The work agreement we have with our nanny has a 1-month trial period spelled out, during which either party can bow out for any reason --- with no hard feelings or consequences.

We will provide her a reference letter and would definitely give her a positive review. I really feel bad about having to let her go so soon, but I didn't realize how hard it would be for me to be away from my daughters. Is there anything else we can do to help our nanny out? She will have two weeks' notice of our decision, I suppose I'm just trying to ask if there's anything else parents/nannies have experienced in situations like this; especially since she has done a great job so far.

[Anonymous]

It would be nice if you could offer a bonus of some kind (to give her a little more financial leeway) and help her find a new job by posting on any parenting boards/groups/lists you are a member of.

[Anonymous]

OMG, I just want to hug you and give you the
"Mother of the Year" award!
Congratulations for taking on the hardest job there is,
twins, no less. Bless you.

[Anonymous]

Wow good for you. One of the first people including my friends and family who even like their children. Most can't wait to get rid of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG, I just want to hug you and give you the
"Mother of the Year" award!
Congratulations for taking on the hardest job there is,
twins, no less. Bless you.

Why in the world is she mom of the year?

[Anonymous]

OP, I think you're being very fair to your current nanny. You're still within the trial period and you're giving her 2 weeks and a reference. I don't think, given the tenure, that you need to do more than that.

Perhaps though you consider keeping her part time for a little while until she finds another position, and you talk with her about being your go to person for date nights, occasional baby sitting etc.?

I'm a mom of twins. You will need some breaks, and you'll want some time w/ your partner. If you've found someone you know and trust I would suggest trying to keep them in the fold to some extent.

Congrats on the babies!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG, I just want to hug you and give you the
"Mother of the Year" award!
Congratulations for taking on the hardest job there is,
twins, no less. Bless you.

Why in the world is she mom of the year?

I know. Ugh. Totally bogarting OP's question to get on her own unpleasant soapbox.

[Anonymous]

Just give her a good reference and fully explain it's you, not her. If you have a neighborhood list-serve I'd suggest posting there to try to help her get a new position.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think you're being very fair to your current nanny. You're still within the trial period and you're giving her 2 weeks and a reference. I don't think, given the tenure, that you need to do more than that.

Perhaps though you consider keeping her part time for a little while until she finds another position, and you talk with her about being your go to person for date nights, occasional baby sitting etc.?

I'm a mom of twins. You will need some breaks, and you'll want some time w/ your partner. If you've found someone you know and trust I would suggest trying to keep them in the fold to some extent.

Congrats on the babies!

+1 And congratulations, twins are the best!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think you're being very fair to your current nanny. You're still within the trial period and you're giving her 2 weeks and a reference. I don't think, given the tenure, that you need to do more than that.

Perhaps though you consider keeping her part time for a little while until she finds another position, and you talk with her about being your go to person for date nights, occasional baby sitting etc.?

I'm a mom of twins. You will need some breaks, and you'll want some time w/ your partner. If you've found someone you know and trust I would suggest trying to keep them in the fold to some extent.

Congrats on the babies!

Very smart advice

[Anonymous]

I'm sure she will be sad but also understand. Can you give her some sort of "bonus" or severance pay to help her out a bit? I also think maybe reaching out to friends/neighbors, etc. and seeing if anyone is looking for a nanny could help too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG, I just want to hug you and give you the
"Mother of the Year" award!
Congratulations for taking on the hardest job there is,
twins, no less. Bless you.

The nanny did everything the mother will do - so doesn't a nanny have the hardest job there is?

[Anonymous]

I'm sure the nanny assumed (as I would) that the "trial period" was concerning her work performance - not yours. I'm sure it never occurred to her that you would decide to leave your job and put her out of a job thru no fault of her own. You have done this nanny a disservice. You definitely owe her generous severance and a brilliant recommendation.


All the best as a SAHM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sure the nanny assumed (as I would) that the "trial period" was concerning her work performance - not yours. I'm sure it never occurred to her that you would decide to leave your job and put her out of a job thru no fault of her own. You have done this nanny a disservice. You definitely owe her generous severance and a brilliant recommendation.


All the best as a SAHM.

Don't be so hard on OP. Many of us nannies wonder why two very nice parents would both want to miss out on the first years of their baby's life. More and more parents are doing everything in creation to have a baby, and then they both just leave for 50 hours every week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sure the nanny assumed (as I would) that the "trial period" was concerning her work performance - not yours. I'm sure it never occurred to her that you would decide to leave your job and put her out of a job thru no fault of her own. You have done this nanny a disservice. You definitely owe her generous severance and a brilliant recommendation.


All the best as a SAHM.

Don't be so hard on OP. Many of us nannies wonder why two very nice parents would both want to miss out on the first years of their baby's life. More and more parents are doing everything in creation to have a baby, and then they both just leave for 50 hours every week.

I'm not being hard on OP - I am actually stating the obvious. "Trial Period" is a test of the employees performance not the employers. While it's great she wants to stay home with her own children, she is firing a hard working employee who upheld her part of the bargain. The nanny needs to be compensated well and given a great recommendation.