TODDLER INJURED DUE TO LACK OF SUPERVISION - WHAT WOULD YOU DO ?

[Anonymous]

Dear Moms,

Our nanny has been with us 4 months. On one hand, she takes good care of our 3-year-old son. He likes her. She seems responsible. However, our son ended up in ER because of her negligence…! He needed stitches. It was a traumatic experience for all of us, especially for our poor baby.

The other issue is that over time we have discovered several small and big lies. When confronted about the big lie, she denied the underlying cause to our face.

Sometimes she lies about something she does not need to lie about.

We think it must be something pathological. She may be a habitual or compulsive liar.

It's such a bummer to find a new nanny so we are not looking forward to this however we have some doubts. We don’t trust her. We think that unnecessary lies raise a red flag and a dishonest nanny is never a good thing.


What would you do?

Thanks for your input,

Kate

[Anonymous]

You do the questions and the answers yourself : it's time to let her go and find someone you trust.

[Anonymous]

I am a nanny and I think it is clear that it is indeed time to let her go. Start looking for a new nanny now. Not because of the stitches necessarily - kids fall and get hurt - but because of a lack of trust.

[Anonymous]

I'm a nanny I would fire her for the lying even small lies that aren't a big necessarily but if she's going to lie about small things she define toy will lie about big things. Your son getting injured wouldn't be an automatic reason to fire but if he was injured due to lack of supervision or she lied about how it happened then yes she should be fired. Kids get hurt sometimes seriously even when a parent/nanny is right there. When you fire her let her know that you're doing it to due to the lying and lack of supervision causing your child to get hurt. If she uses you as a reference be honest with the caller stick to facts only

[Anonymous]

I would stop posting in all caps, Kate. That'd be the first step. As for the second step it doesn't matter. You seem to have already made up your mind to fire her. It just seems like you haven't decided if it's for lying or for your TODDLER BEING INJURED DUE TO LACK OF SUPERVISION.

[Anonymous]

Honesty and trust are total non-negotiables for me. She'd be gone, even before the injury.

[Anonymous]

Hi, It's Kate again. No, I have not already made up my mind to fire her. I have some doubts as except the injury and lying - she is the best nanny we have ever had.. My son really likes her, she plays with him, cooks for him, teaches him a lot of things. She is never late. That's why it's so difficult. On one hand - we know she is lying to us. On the other hand she is a good professional nanny. That's why I am asking you about your opinion because we really don't know what to do..

[Anonymous]

Do you really have to ask? I would not allow her to continue caring for my child.

[Anonymous]

I really don't understand why you're perseverating OP.

She lies to you routinely. Done.

How can you have confidence and trust in someone who is caring for your child if you know that she lies regularly?

And you have concerns about an injury that resulted in stitches?

You're not providing enough information for us to judge the specifics, but if you don't trust her then there is no good reason to keep her. Seems to me you're not doing your job as a parent otherwise.

[Anonymous]

You are leaving your child with a neglectful caregiver. All because she's "never late" and hiring someone else is a pain in the butt? Never mind, keep her on. You two sound like two peas in a pod.

[Katiee]

Why this aggression ?? I just wanted to hear other people's opinion ... You don't have to judge me for asking a question. As I wrote - it's the best nanny our son ever had. She is very creative and you can see that DC loves her. That's why it's such a hard decision for us.

[Anonymous]

The vast majority of nannies interact well with kids and are liked by kids. Nannies with that skill are truly a dime a dozen so that should not be the basis for keeping an otherwise poor or lackluster hire. You need someone who interacts well with your son AND is reliable, trustworthy, safety-minded, positive in attitude, and good at the aspects of childcare that go beyond merely being liked by your child. She may be lying to you because she too senses that you are not a good fit for each other.

[Katiee]

"She may be lying to you because she too senses that you are not a good fit for each other."

We noticed that she is lying to other nannies and parents in the neighborhood too - without specific reason. Whenever she thinks it's easier to lie than to tell the truth. I know - it''s weird. Some people just have that kind of tendency.

We just had bad experience with previous nannies - they were always late, texting or checking facebook, not responsible.

When we found this nanny - we were more than happy. It was such a relief for us. To the day when we discovered she is lying to us.

[Anonymous]

The stitches incident wouldn't cause an issue, unless you could prove she was being negligent. Kids get hurt. It happens.

The lying. Gone. Not tolerable if you can't trust your nanny.

-nanny

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you need to do a better job in hiring. You need to be very clear about your expectations, direct about things like honestly, timeliness, trustworthiness, etc... and you need to trust your instincts.

Everything you've told us here makes it clear that you do not have a good nanny. Yet you keep reiterating that she's the best nanny you ever found.

There are lots of fantastic nannies out there. You are doing something wrong as the employer I think.