SIL disrespects nanny

[Anonymous]

I have a wonderful nanny, who has been our saving grace since I went back to work. Prior to hiring her, DH and I had debated on family watching our child. After long contemplation, our SIL was our choice. She is currently a SAHM and has a teaching degree. We decided against hiring her due to not wanting friction within family if things didnt work out. She seemed fine with this and even claimed she would give nanny a welcome and show her around our area. Fast forward, we hired a nanny in her mid-twenties, who adores and encourages our child to learn while having fun. It seems that my SIL doesn't seem to be so keen on our nanny. She seems to compare our many to herself and will make back hand compliments. For example, our nanny is not getting a degree in ECE, but does read a lot about child development. SIL thinks there's no way she would know as much, as she doesn that've a teaching degree. When our child learned her colors, SIL made a snide comment stating that a lonely could teach her colors, now if our nanny taught our daugher capitals and states then she would be impressed. Constant deprecation. I am having a talk with her about it soon, whether DH backs me up or not. He doesn't want to get in the middle. She is semi aloof with our nanny, but our nanny doesn't worry about it. I'm taking it really personal because our nanny is amazing and this is getting old. Anyone been in a similar situation? I am not one to confront but I would not want our nanny to think we don't care about her. So am going to take a stand, our child loves her. I'm just sadden by the whole thing.

[Anonymous]

Why is SIL around when nanny is in charge?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is SIL around when nanny is in charge?

Agree that the nanny shouldn't have to be around sil. Your sil can come visit when you or DH are home. That would be the best way also don't share what your nanny is teaching your child

[Anonymous]

I would not let SIL be around nanny.. problem solved.

[Anonymous]

Third not having the SIL around when nanny is working.

[Anonymous]

Unless your SIL lives with you, there's no need for her to visit unless you and your DH are home.

[Anonymous]

My idiot father-in-law verbally attacked our nanny at my daughter's birthday party. He is a Fox-watching moron and he interrupted a private conversation that our nanny was having with a neighbors nanny about a great deal she got on health care insurance. (Obamacare). My father-in-law went on a tirade and called our nanny a socialist. I apologized to our nanny and was sweating bullets thinking that she might quit (ruined my Easter). Of course our nanny handled everything with enormous generosity and dignity.

My husband apologized to our nanny as well and told his father that if we lost this nanny because of his rudeness, he would no longer be welcome in our home (way to go, Hubs!). This is the first time he ever took such a strong stance with his father. Our daughter has special needs and our nanny is a GODSEND. She is a gift to all of us, especially my daughter who adores her.

As long as your nanny KNOWS, without a doubt, that you have her back - it should all be fine. But I would definitely talk to your SIL about her attitude as she is simply being rude. Your nanny needs to know how you feel about her and where you and your husband stand.

[Anonymous]

Unless I missed something, it doesn't sound like your SIL is even around your nanny?

[Anonymous]

Wow, I'm a nanny and it's so heartwarming to see families stand up to there nanny and care about their wellbeing.

I feel lucky that I get along with all my NF family members.

[Anonymous]

I'd just tell your nanny not to mind what your SIL says, since the only opinion that matters is you and your husband's, and you are happy with the care that she provides your child. When your SIL makes comments, just say, "we are happy with how nanny cares for our child." Change the subject. Definitely minimize contact between the two of them.

[Anonymous]

MB here. You shouldn't take this all so personally, but you should absolutely talk to your SIL.

"Nancy, I would appreciate if you stop being critical of Jane's interactions with the kids. We are extremely happy with her and want her to stay. I respect your background and love that I can turn to you for advice when I need it, but I want Jane to feel respected and valued so would prefer that you not compare her critically to yourself when in my, or her, presence. Thank you for understanding."