nanny hired to watch toddlers, not getting paid for older kids

[Anonymous]

I started working with a family and had a question about how to handle summer time. I am paid $10 for hours with the baby and it goes to $12 when her brother is home from morning preschool. I did discuss before hiring that if there would additional children, I would expect the rate increase. Over spring break, their two older children were home. I mentioned the increased rate and was told that since they are 11 and stay home alone I was not watching them and would not be paid extra. I was told in front of the 11 year olds that I am not to cook for or entertain them. But with out fail each day, they asked me to help make their breakfast and lunches (which I did) and also said 15 times throughout the day, that they were bored and asked what they should do. I then had to think of activities for them. I understand that MB leaves them alone for short periods of time. But I am not sure how to handle this situation. for example, my car fits two car seats and nothing more. I want to take the younger kids to the pool and out for picnics, etc once summer hits. When I discussed summer plans with MB she said it wouldn't be fair to take just two kids to the pool and not all, so it would be better for me to just stay home. How should I go about saying that doesn't seem fair to me and the two toddlers to be stuck inside all summer when there are so many parks and activities in our community? If I'm not "watching the older two" why am I stuck at home since they can't fit in my car? I would really like to handle this professionally and respectfully but am getting mad and resentful at feeling possibly taken advantage of. Advice would be great!

[Anonymous]

Your being taken advantage of

[Anonymous]

You're* sorry grammar gods

[Anonymous]

You are going to be miserable all summer, start looking for a summer gig! Then you can look for a permanent position towards the end of summer, or you could find one now. Either way, you should be able to find a summer job if you start looking right away. Don't wait until it is too late! You owe yourself respect and kindness prior to anyone else's needs.

[Anonymous]

I would simply tell her what you said here. You would like to know if you will be responsible for the older children during the summer, and if you are not you would like to request that you be able to continue outings as you normally would. She needs to see that you cannot reconcile the ideas that your day will be affected by their presence, but that you are not being paid for the responsibility and inconvenience. They are being ridiculous, and I'd be prepared to leave. It will only get worse this summer.

[Anonymous]

I would start updating my resume if I were you. But really- sit down with MB & DB and let them know that you need the ability to continue performing your job to the best of your ability and that means taking the children in your care out during the day. If the 11 year old will be home all day with you then you expect a pay increase of X because its absolutely unreasonable of them to believe that the child is home with you but you some how aren't responsible for them. I mean seriously-if the kid disappears from the house during the day who are they going to blame? Stand up to them but start looking for a summer position ASAP

[Anonymous]

I would start by not fixing the kid breakfast or lunch. By 11 they can and should be doing things for themselves. If they ask, say you're a big kid and your mom expects you to do that yourself. She hiredme for the little kids. If they say they're bored, tell them their boredom isn't your problem and yyou're happy to come up with a list of chores they can do to relieve their boredom. If they continue to be bored, assign a task and tell them they can't complain until it's done. Tough love. They'll get pissed and tell their parents and either the parents will realize the kid needs more supervision than they thought and you'll get your raise, or they'll back you up and tell the kid to be more self sufficient. Either way you win, but stop letting kids rule the roost.

[Anonymous]

They should provide you with a car to take all children out this summer or put the oldest in a da camp

[Anonymous]

Oh heck yes!! You are most definitely being taken advantage of OP!! They are trying to put the wool over your eyes here and let them know in no uncertain terms you are no idiot!!

Sure, the older kids are more independent, but they are still not old enough to be completely on their own as you have shown since they do need to ask you for certain things plus they need to be entertained as well.

Unless you get paid for the older two, then you don't work at all.

They are trying to catch a free ride here OP.

Do not let them.

You do not work for free. They are not your charity case.

[Anonymous]

I hope you will put your foot down. I'd like to know how it turns out. Keep us posted.

[Anonymous]

OP, your MB is skeevy to handle it this way. Just because the older ones are left alone and you were told not to feed or entertain them, does NOT make it OK to not pay you additional money while they're home with you.

Think of it this way... even though you are technically not responsible for them, if something bad happened to either one of them while you were caring for the toddlers, you can bet your ass you would be held responsible and either penalized or fired.

So, no, it doesn't cut it to have them there while you're working but not pay you additional money. Shame on your stingy MB.

[Anonymous]

If you were to take the little ones to the pool and something happened to the older kids while you out, the mom would probably try and make you liable. I would find another job, as it doesn't sound like the mom is going to pay you more or even get a larger car for you so you can take the kids out, and therefore you'll be unhappy and/or underpaid if you stay.

[Anonymous]

These sorry ass parents don't care about you or their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These sorry ass parents don't care about you or their kids.

I posted that the OP need to find another job, that this will never work. You took it too far! You are judging someone you do not know. There are a lot of single mothers who love their kids and are doing their best. Maybe OP's MB didn't plan very well for having 3 children, or maybe something blindsided her and now she is doing her best. Either way, she is on a strict budget and trying to find care for her children within that budget.

[Anonymous]

It's illegal for a child under 12 to be left home alone. You are de facto looking after the 11 year olds sinc either wise parents wouldn't be able to leave them alone in the house. I agree with others that its ridiculous that your outings with toddlers have to be limited. The family needs to pay you more and provide a bigger car or get another care arrangement for the older kids.