High school babysitters in affluent communities

[Anonymous]

If you live in a fairly affluent area please tell me if you have trouble keeping a high school babysitter. I have invested time in checking refs and meeting people only to have what I hoped to be a long term relationship (regular date night) evaporate. We moved to Bethesda two years ago and that's been my experience. The babysitter either makes excuses or blames school activities. In our previous less affluent area we had two regulars who were slightly older (college age) and nearly always made themselves available. They also worked other jobs. I can't help but observe that they were from immigrant families. My one kid is nice and not a trouble maker. We pay market rate. Have you also experienced this? And another thing--how much do you deal with parents when the babysitter is younger? I'm getting names from my neighborhood listserv but sometimes it's the parents who respond/want to meet me (which means more time on my part) and which I think sometimes means that an unwilling kid is being pushed into work (what happened with our last one).

[Anonymous]

Just hire a professional. It likely costs more but they're much less likely to cancel and you don't have to meet their parents. 16 year olds aren't exactly known for their professionalism.

[Anonymous]

affluent or not, the high school girl tends to be like this. I would also prefer to hire a professional or at the very least a college age girl.
you will have better luck and they tend to be more engaging in my experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you live in a fairly affluent area please tell me if you have trouble keeping a high school babysitter. I have invested time in checking refs and meeting people only to have what I hoped to be a long term relationship (regular date night) evaporate. We moved to Bethesda two years ago and that's been my experience. The babysitter either makes excuses or blames school activities. In our previous less affluent area we had two regulars who were slightly older (college age) and nearly always made themselves available. They also worked other jobs. I can't help but observe that they were from immigrant families. My one kid is nice and not a trouble maker. We pay market rate. Have you also experienced this? And another thing--how much do you deal with parents when the babysitter is younger? I'm getting names from my neighborhood listserv but sometimes it's the parents who respond/want to meet me (which means more time on my part) and which I think sometimes means that an unwilling kid is being pushed into work (what happened with our last one).

This would strike me as perfectly normal. I used to babysit a lot in high school, and my mom always knew the families I worked for. If a kid is a minor, I would expect to meet the parents so that they could feel okay about their daughter being alone in my house, and I would not be surprised if the parents screened the inquiries. It may be that the kid doesn't really want to babysit, but I think that's a separate issue.

[Anonymous]

That's why I hire only homely-looking girls who are unpopular. You know they're not dying to go to parties and dates on Friday nights and have nothing better to do. It's either babysit, or stay home and watch Lifetime Movies with their mom.

[Anonymous]

Hire an older sitter - there is no reason you need to hire high school girls.

[Anonymous]

This is OP. I do not have a ton of experience doing this--we've used centers for professional care in the past. Do more experienced people really want to work date night or come just for three hours while I run errands or go to the doctor? That's why I was using younger kids--I figured that unless it was regular and a decent number of hours a nanny/professional type wouldn't be interested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I do not have a ton of experience doing this--we've used centers for professional care in the past. Do more experienced people really want to work date night or come just for three hours while I run errands or go to the doctor? That's why I was using younger kids--I figured that unless it was regular and a decent number of hours a nanny/professional type wouldn't be interested.

Most nannies babysit on weekends and during weekday evenings.
It's a nice way to supplement our income.
You will find many older, professional caregivers looking for the occasional babysitting gig.

[Anonymous]

I was a HS sitter in an affluent community and always wanted to work - I had to pay my own way through college. No idea how to determine which sitters are spoiled/over-scheduled and which ones are from families living beyond their means and really need the money, though. Only I'm sure they are out there. But yes, college sitters and professional nannies will often take babysitting jobs for extra money, and if you have an ongoing relationship (they're your first call when you need help), the professional nannies probably won't even enforce the somewhat common 4-hr minimum rule - particularly if you have a friendly relationship.

[Anonymous]

The problem is that these kids see no point in working for money when their parents give them everything. When I was in HS I babysit and worked a min. wage job to save for things I wanted to do or have spending money. Around here - esp in some neighborhoods - parents buy about anything a kid could want so there is no reason for a kid to want to work. This is not good for kids but it is what it is.

I agree that a parent replying to the message is not a good sign, but if a HS kid replies they are interested but their parent needs to meet you first then i think that is 100% reasonable. DH is likely to do this when DD starts sitting too i think!

[Anonymous]

I would try to hire local nannies or au pairs. They are more professional and probably need the money more (and would probably charge about the same amount, sadly).

[Anonymous]

It's illegal to hire an au pair and illegal for her to work FYI.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's illegal to hire an au pair and illegal for her to work FYI.

Is it legal to hire illegal immigrants?
Do you live in a hole?

[Anonymous]

kids in affluent communities are less likely to NEED the money and therefore less likely to be motivated by money to actually show up. Find kids in less affluent neighborhoods and you'll have better luck. I babysat a ton in jr/sr high school and never cancelled and got lots of referrals to other families I didn't know. My parents never asked to meet them and I would have been mortified if they had! I guess times have changed. Or I had really disengaged parents, one of the two.

[Anonymous]

This is OP. Yeah, I didn't want to come out and say teens in Bethesda may be spoiled, but my impression so far is that they are. I also think that entrance to college is more difficult and the go-getters are focused on building a portfolio of activities and don't have time. I babysat a fair amount as a kid and I didn't love it but I was motivated by the money. My parents never vetted the people, even when I got the job via referral and didn't know them. I have no problem meeting the parents but to have to do that every time and then have the kid flake out on me is a waste of my time when I was hoping to get a relationship started.