uncooperative children/uncomfortable and Ready to go!

[Anonymous]

I normally dont give up on a position but everything about this job is not working out.

1. I feel like im just getting the kids thrown at me every day and night.
2. the parents are home when the kids are home and i cant get the children to cooperate.
3. Even with redirection the children throw tantrums and parents just make me give in.
4. Im not use to inconsistant schedule, micromanaged mothers.
5. not getting legal pay.

Its so much about this job that i dont feel comfortable with so my question to you parents or nannies is:
what is a better way to quit without saying their children are not for me. Contract says i have to give a month prior to leabing.

I feel that parents cant take criticism about their children so is it best for me to just lie?

Also when i apply to a new job do i tell the new families about my current week old job. Is that unprofessional?

[Anonymous]

I vote for lying to the parents about why you are leaving. Like "I found a job closer to my home", "I was offered another position", etc. Any variation on the old "it's not you - it's me"

And, yes - start looking now. It'll be tough since you owe your bad employers four weeks (morally that is - legally you don't owe them anything since they are paying you under the table).


Situations like your current position can never get better.

[Anonymous]

One more thing: NEVER TELL YOUR PROSPECTIVE EMPLOYERS ABOUT YOUR CURRENT BAD SITUATION.

Be sweet and tell them that you are leaving for your same fictitious reason. Rave about the kids and say how much you will miss them etc.

[Anonymous]

Your situation sounds horrible. I would begin searching for a new position IMMEDIATELY. Do not tell families you're interviewing with about your current position (though honestly I might lie and say its a temporary position if they ask why you're leaving your current position so quickly). Also, legally you don't owe your employer any notice. If you find a new position that starts ASAP then you quit your old job and let them figure it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your situation sounds horrible. I would begin searching for a new position IMMEDIATELY. Do not tell families you're interviewing with about your current position (though honestly I might lie and say its a temporary position if they ask why you're leaving your current position so quickly). Also, legally you don't owe your employer any notice. If you find a new position that starts ASAP then you quit your old job and let them figure it out.

even if this made up contract says so? Its not even legally a correct contract.

[Anonymous]

When you find a new position, give your current position as much time as possible, but don't worry if you can't give them a month! I'd tell my prospective employers that I am looking for a new position because I do not want to be paid illegally.

[Anonymous]

You are leaving your current family because it isn't the right fit. If pushed for more information, you could say it's the legal pay issue (provided you want to be paid on the books now?)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are leaving your current family because it isn't the right fit. If pushed for more information, you could say it's the legal pay issue (provided you want to be paid on the books now?)

yes, but the main reason is the children and whole schedule unorganized.

[Anonymous]

They want to throw a contract at you but can't even pay a legal wage? LOL.. tell them you found a better paying job with better behaving children!

[Anonymous]

I'd give a sanitized version of the truth... You want to give enough info that you can weed out families who possess the same traits you're leaving. Tell them you're seeking a family who is on the same page as you with regard to discipline, you need a more consistent schedule, pay on the books etc. If you ignore the reason you're leaving, you open yourself up to a repeat of the same thing happening again. You don't need to bash your old family but I wouldn't lie about the reason for leaving either.

[Anonymous]

You've only been there for a WEEK? Then you don't need to give a MONTH'S notice. And I'm a MB who is saying that.

Just tell the parents this isn't working out, and tell prospective employers you were not prepared for parents being home all day every day or being paid illegally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You've only been there for a WEEK? Then you don't need to give a MONTH'S notice. And I'm a MB who is saying that.

Just tell the parents this isn't working out, and tell prospective employers you were not prepared for parents being home all day every day or being paid illegally.

Another MB. I agree. And next time get a contract that spells things out about pay.

[Anonymous]

Every nanny job should have a 2-4 week probation period where either side can end the arrangement without notice (of course being paid for any hours worked) before the "official notice" portion of the contract kicks in.

If this job isn't for you that one thing, but they aren't paying legally and you're at your wits' end after a week? Go ahead and start interviewing and when you get a better offer, take it. Give the family as much notice as you can but don't worry if it isn't a month. That isn't something that could ever come back to hurt you.

As far as what to say to NEW parents (just tell the old family you don't think it's the right fit for you and leave it at that) you can probe a little into their parenting philosophies by saying you misjudged and decided their parenting philosophy didn't mesh with yours enough. This gives the interviewers a chance to ask for examples BUT rather than saying "MB does this and I think it's wrong," just give examples of how you address things ("I don't believe in making food a battleground issue, I am firm when it comes to tantrums and will give children the appropriate opportunity to express themselves (by letting them have their tantrum in a safe and private place) but will not change my mind because I believe kids thrive on reliable boundaries and understand their need to test them sometimes, I find it is often difficult to assume the role of an authority figure when parents are home every day because the children tend to perform/act out for them and it is awkward and uncomfortable stepping in between a parent and their child, etc) so both you and the families you meet will be able to grasp if you're the right nanny for them. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

You need a new profession, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are leaving your current family because it isn't the right fit. If pushed for more information, you could say it's the legal pay issue (provided you want to be paid on the books now?)

yes, but the main reason is the children and whole schedule unorganized.

If that was OP replying, I was trying to give you a NICE reason to explain why you're quitting. In your original post you sound whiny and inexperienced.