How to tell kids we are firing/replacing the nanny

[Anonymous]

We've had a nanny for about 8 months, and it's just not working out - she's late, inattentive with the children, etc.

We have been interviewing others - "new friends" coming over - and have offered a position to someone new.

What is the best way to tell this to our 7 and 3 year old (we also have a baby)? I don't think either will be heartbroken, but she has been around for a while...

[Anonymous]

Don't tell them she was fired. It's never nice to hear your charges say mommy will fire you if you do that. I heard that daily from one charge it gets to you mentally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't tell them she was fired. It's never nice to hear your charges say mommy will fire you if you do that. I heard that daily from one charge it gets to you mentally.

UGH - what a brat! I would definitely talk to the charges mother and father about this child's inappropriate comments to you about being fired! That is not acceptable.


To OP: Obviously do not tell the children that their nanny has been fired! Like explaining getting a divorce to children, reassure them that it had nothing to do with them and then come up with a good fiblet on why she isn't going to work with them anymore. Like "Nanny needed to take some time off to rest".

[Anonymous]

How many hours a week did she have your children?

[Anonymous]

I would explain it in simple terms that *nanny* will not be watching them any more but that you are excited for *new nanny* to begin watching them. When they ask why, keep it simple without lying (mommy and daddy think *new nanny* will be a better fit with our family) and reassure your children that its not their fault. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

You could just say she moved to be closer to her family, that's a happy ending and it doesn't make any difference anyway since she's not there anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would explain it in simple terms that *nanny* will not be watching them any more but that you are excited for *new nanny* to begin watching them. When they ask why, keep it simple without lying (mommy and daddy think *new nanny* will be a better fit with our family) and reassure your children that its not their fault. Good luck!

+1

Do not make up false scenarios about why she's leaving, like she is moving away, etc. That's just begging for an awkward situation where you run in to her at the grocery store and then have to explain to your kids why she's still here. Stick to a simplified version of the facts like the above.

[Anonymous]

Thanks. It hadn't occurred to me that they would think it's their fault, so that's helpful to consider. At the same time, the gut check of both me and my husband is that they won't care that much; their really isn't too much of a bond there.

Having said that, I think we will focus on the new nanny, whom we feel optimistic about. I also think that the honesty is the best policy will apply here. I would like to say that it's not a good fit for our family, but I'm not sure how to explain what that means to a 7 year old (since it's really euphemism for the fact that we don't think she is performing).

Ideas?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks. It hadn't occurred to me that they would think it's their fault, so that's helpful to consider. At the same time, the gut check of both me and my husband is that they won't care that much; their really isn't too much of a bond there.

Having said that, I think we will focus on the new nanny, whom we feel optimistic about. I also think that the honesty is the best policy will apply here. I would like to say that it's not a good fit for our family, but I'm not sure how to explain what that means to a 7 year old (since it's really euphemism for the fact that we don't think she is performing).

Ideas?

If find it very strange that there isn't a bond after 8 months. Why are you making this into a big thing? Just say that the nanny had to move away or take care of her own family.

[Anonymous]

The 7 year old will be the only one to ask, I would think. The 3 year old will most likely be satisfied with "Nanny X isn't coming over anymore, but Nanny Y is going to come play now!"

I'm not sure a 7 year old will understand the concept of being a better fit. Don't overthink it.