Above and beyond "extras" becoming expectations
![[Post New]](/nanny-forum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| I've been at my current job for almost a year and a half now, and I'm noticing more and more that the little extras I do for my nanny family are no longer being seen as extras, but as expectations. That would be fine with me, had my compensation kept pace with the extras, but I did not recieve a raise at my one year mark. I'm in a share, and we were adding a new family at the time, so I decided not to ask for a raise and one was not offered. My MB however continues to leave things for me to take care of that I will do if I have time, but when I don't have time she actually says something to me about doing my best to get to it! I'm feeling really frustrated and unappreciated, but hesitant to rock the boat or come off as petty. Suggestions? Do I need to just get over it? |
Anonymous
|
This is a sticky situation because all nannies know don't start doing things you're not suppose to because it will become part of your job. Some employers are truly appreciative but others will exploit it.
So beware..think carefully before you do that extra chore and don't ever do it back to back..do it then let them do it a couple times themselves. So they won't start counting on it being done by you |
Anonymous
Thanks. I realize that now of course, but its said on here repeatedly by MBs that going above and beyond is what earns bonuses and raises from them. Knowing this, I went into the job trying to help out here and there where I could, and at first they were elated and would thank me every time. Now instead of thank you, I get guilt trips when I don't have time to do something that isn't even really my job. If I had gotten a raise I could completely see those extras being assumed my responsibility now, but since I didn't I don't understand how she could logically expect that I will take them on as though they are. Its not like she doesn't remember what my contracted duties are either, since we went over the contract prior to adding the new family. |
Anonymous
| Just another nanny being taken advantage of. |
Anonymous
| I am in the same position as you op only I'm a live in nanny. My nf has stopped doing just about everything even on the weekends. On my days off I clean up from all the meals and do laundry sometimes late into the night. Somedays it's like gosh I would love to just have one day I didn't have to do a sink full of dishes three times that day. Why do I do it? Because if I don't it will wait for me until Monday morning I'm sure. |
Anonymous
|
I'm really sorry because once you start the expectation of you doing it all the time is there. Your employers will get very disgruntled if you stop doing their laundry or w/e because now they have to do it themselves. They will start calculating all the free time they assume you have when baby is napping.
Nooo don't ever do extra chores to impress them instead do what you are suppose to do to the best of your ability. Then every once in a while do something else but never the same thing let's say in a month. Trust if you ever do something for two weeks straight it will become your job and left for you to do sometimes with subtle hints or bold face instructions. What I do is tell my employer the the first time they say "Ohhh thank...I smile say you're welcome but don't do it again for a long time...e.g...you do the kids laundry then throw in theirs...they say thank you and are happy because that is something they won't have to do...if you do it the next week and the week after ...they get use to that free time...BUT if you let them do it after the first time they just enjoy that one freebie they had... Anyway my only advice to you now since you started doing extra chores is start and don't finish and say you didn't have time..put laundry in wash and dryer don' t fold...run dryer close to their arrival and tell her you doing her a favor by starting her laundry...always let them know that you were helping them...sorry I hope this help |
Anonymous
They're a family of piggies. I bet they even love their babies like people do. |
Anonymous
|
I don't see how you have any option but to talk to your MB about your original agreement and how her attitude when you don't have time for the "extras" bothers you. Seriously, either that or quit. Your MB is now judging you based on the chores you never agreed to initially and cannot get done. You ARE being taken advantage of - without doubt.
Most people are sensitive to their employers being unhappy or not satisfied with their work no matter how unreasonable the employers expectations are. You are not alone. You must speak to your employers and set this straight. Wow - it's sad that you cannot go the extra mile for some people without that mile becoming part of your daily commute! |
Anonymous
+1 I hate any kind of confrontation so I get that you don't want to bring this up with your MB but I also don't see as you have a choice. I'd probably just quit but I'm a coward so don't go by me. |
Anonymous
|
No don't quit outright.. this situation is tricky but workable.
Do as you're doing now reduce your extras gradually..If she makes a comment stick with I did not have the time today. Do not do it. The first couple of weeks may be awkward but stick it out it will eventually get better if not then consider quitting and learn from this. You sound like a hard worker and wanted to do extras to move you along with better compensations but 90 something percent of the time it doesn't' work out that way. Remember if you do a brilliant job of what you are suppose to do you are likely to get appreciated more than if you start doing extras and then have to stop because you change your mind |
Anonymous
| Thanks everyone! I don't really have any desire to quit, I just don't want to feel like I'm doing something for nothing. I plan to scale back on the extras gradually, and if she says anything about the undone tasks flat out, I will have to confront her about our agreement. If it is still an issue, I would be prepared to move on. I am fully aware that they are getting my services for a steal. |
Anonymous
|
MB here. Do you have regular meetings to talk about how things are going? If not, request one. Ask if they are satisfied w/ how you are doing the job they hired you to do.
Ask if there are things (related to the care of the kid(s) that they would like to work on, change, improve, etc... Then say that there is one thing you would like to discuss (maybe there are others - but I'm addressing the one here) and tell them that you have been doing a fair amount of work outside the original scope of the job, which you are happy to do generally when there is time, but you're starting to feel as though that "extra" work has become part of the regular expectations. So you're sensing dissatisfaciton with your performance related to work you weren't hired to do. Then let them respond. You are an employee, you are entitled to regular performance review type conversations during which you should be able to talk about job creep, concerns you have, things you appreciate, etc... If you don't talk to them the situation is not likely to change. It may not change if you do talk to them, or perhaps it will improve significantly for the better. I wouldn't go into this as needing a confrontation or having to quit when you haven't even had a conversation yet. Just talk to them. |