how to keep the kids from saying anything

[Anonymous]

We are thinking about replacing our nanny, and, for a variety of reasons, would need to have the new one ready to start as soon as we give the current one notice. We will obviously have good potential candidates meet and play with the kids, but how do I present it to them in such a way that they don't tip off their current nanny?

[Anonymous]

Try to hire the new nanny during a weekend, so they won't have a chance to tell her.

[Anonymous]

Have her get to know them as a part-time date night sitter vs a nanny replacement.

[Anonymous]

No notice, OP? Why? Severance? How much?

[Anonymous]

I strongly discourage you from doing this OP.

It doesn't set a good example to your children regarding ethics and you do not want to teach your children to lie.


I say let your current nanny know she is being let go, and of course, continue searching for a new nanny.

To teach your children to keep their lips sealed is to teach them to deceive and at this young age, this is just wrong.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, unless the nanny is violent (in which case you shouldn't be waiting for a replacement) this is a ridiculous and shitty thing to do.

Closure is very important for the kids and nanny, good nannies are going to be hesitant in filling a job where the prior nanny is let go without notice, and it really does teach your children negative things about how to treat people by example.

I'd look at what exactly your concerns are about giving her notice and really be honest with yourself about how likely any of those situations truly are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have her get to know them as a part-time date night sitter vs a nanny replacement.

Yes = this. The kids don't need to know that they're meeting a replacement for your nanny - she can just be a possible baby-sitter or backup care person. Don't put them in the position of having to keep a secret and it will be easier. But I'd also try to be very certain you've selected "the one" before you meet him/her and have the meeting as late in the game as possible. Minimize any opportunities for awkwardness.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

How old are your children OP? We are currently looking for a new nanny. Our current nanny is aware of it but I don't know your situation and I think there are MANY situations in which you wouldn't need to tell her ahead of time. It's interesting that so many nannies on here advocate all the time that a nanny should have a new job lined up before she leaves her current one but when they don't even know your circumstances they think you are awful for not doing the same. Talk about hypocrisy!

But to answer your actual question, when we interview a candidate we just tell the children "a lady is coming over to meet us." Mine are only 3.5 and 2 so that's enough of an explanation for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are your children OP? We are currently looking for a new nanny. Our current nanny is aware of it but I don't know your situation and I think there are MANY situations in which you wouldn't need to tell her ahead of time. It's interesting that so many nannies on here advocate all the time that a nanny should have a new job lined up before she leaves her current one but when they don't even know your circumstances they think you are awful for not doing the same. Talk about hypocrisy!

But to answer your actual question, when we interview a candidate we just tell the children "a lady is coming over to meet us." Mine are only 3.5 and 2 so that's enough of an explanation for them.

Just answer the question. This is unnecessary, and is exactly what starts bitter arguments.

[Anonymous]

Actually, PP, 11:57 makes a good point.

We don't need you to police the forums. Report inappropriate posts instead.

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are your children OP? We are currently looking for a new nanny. Our current nanny is aware of it but I don't know your situation and I think there are MANY situations in which you wouldn't need to tell her ahead of time. It's interesting that so many nannies on here advocate all the time that a nanny should have a new job lined up before she leaves her current one but when they don't even know your circumstances they think you are awful for not doing the same. Talk about hypocrisy!

But to answer your actual question, when we interview a candidate we just tell the children "a lady is coming over to meet us." Mine are only 3.5 and 2 so that's enough of an explanation for them.

Just answer the question. This is unnecessary, and is exactly what starts bitter arguments.

Why only say that to me and not the other posters who didn't answer OPs question at all but only questioned why she wasn't giving the nanny notice? At least I answered her question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are thinking about replacing our nanny, and, for a variety of reasons, would need to have the new one ready to start as soon as we give the current one notice. We will obviously have good potential candidates meet and play with the kids, but how do I present it to them in such a way that they don't tip off their current nanny?

You're overthinking this. Just conduct your interviews and when you find someone you'd like to introduce to the kids, just let them know (the morning of) that Ms. Denise is going to come and play with them for a few hours later that day. If they're nervous or clingy children reassure them you'll still be home while she's there. That's it. IF they mention it to your nanny and IF she mentions it to you and IF you are still unprepared to be straightforward with her/give her notice, you can say you've been interviewing several people as back up caregivers and date night sitters.

[Anonymous]

I think the date night approach is the way to go. Not good to ask them to keep a secret so you need to position it differently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are your children OP? We are currently looking for a new nanny. Our current nanny is aware of it but I don't know your situation and I think there are MANY situations in which you wouldn't need to tell her ahead of time. It's interesting that so many nannies on here advocate all the time that a nanny should have a new job lined up before she leaves her current one but when they don't even know your circumstances they think you are awful for not doing the same. Talk about hypocrisy!

But to answer your actual question, when we interview a candidate we just tell the children "a lady is coming over to meet us." Mine are only 3.5 and 2 so that's enough of an explanation for them.

+1 I agree.. It's also funny how alot of nannies quit without notice and try to justify it but when an employer is thinking of letting go of their nanny then the employer is the bad guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have her get to know them as a part-time date night sitter vs a nanny replacement.

Yes = this. The kids don't need to know that they're meeting a replacement for your nanny - she can just be a possible baby-sitter or backup care person. Don't put them in the position of having to keep a secret and it will be easier. But I'd also try to be very certain you've selected "the one" before you meet him/her and have the meeting as late in the game as possible. Minimize any opportunities for awkwardness.

Good luck.

+1. Don't tell the kids until after you've hired the replacement and told the current nanny.