Life after you leave...

[Anonymous]

I was a nanny for 4 solid years. Loved my job, kids were sweet, parents were super and it was just an all-around awesome situation. For reasons on both side, my position ended in December. I got a job using my college degree and their youngest was accepted into the pre-k program they wanted. It as totally mutual and we knew it was coming, though we all dreaded it! Anyhow, now I am super close friends with the family. Like over at their house twice a week just to hang out and go out to each another 2 nights/week. We've even gone on two weekend road trips together since then. The problem I am having is their sincere generosity. They pay for EVERYTHING for me. My meals, new clothes, gas, etc. You name it! If I have ever mentioned anything about buying something, or even if I haven't they're there buying it for me.

The other day I took the kids out just to spend a day with them. I used my own money because I wanted to. I make quite a bit more now and these kids are like my own, I felt like I could spend some money to spoil them. Anyway the parents were not happy when they found out I refused to use their money. They told me I had to take it and after a little back and forth for a minute or two, I just did. The problem I have is that they pay for so much for me, why can I not spend a little money to pay for something for them once and a while. I know they appreciate me and what I have done as an employee and a friend, but I want them to know I appreciate them just as much if not more!!!

Does anyone have any suggestions for me? Ways to show my appreciation or how to feel better about this!?

Thanks in advance

[Anonymous]

They know they can never repay you for everything you gave them. Their generosity is a small token. Be gracious and accept it.

[Anonymous]

If it bothers you so much, you could bring it up. "I value our relationship so much, and I am so grateful that I can continue to be a friend now that I am no longer an employee. But part of being friends and peers is reciprocity. When you don't let me pay my own way at least sometimes, it makes me feel like an employee again. Please let me treat the kids and you at least once in a while."

But honestly, you may be disappointed when you realize they are going to let you buy your own "dinner out 2X per week!" I would just let it go.

I have been in a similar situation and just paid for what I thought was fair. If the parents said "We insist on paying for that!" I just winked and said, "Hey, you're not the boss of me. I've got this, you get the next one!"

[Anonymous]

You were in a great situation with a good family. I have a friend who always does the same thing with me and I try to repay his generosity with gifts to his children and free babysitting.

[Anonymous]

Never look a gift horse in the mouth.