Constant lateness

[Anonymous]

My DCs nanny is very sweet and great with the children but she is ALWAYS late. Because of this we are looking for a new nanny. In the mean time though I'm finding it harder and harder not to be furious. I've spoken to her about it countless times and it does nothing. Yesterday there was bad traffic which wasn't her fault but she texted me to say she was stuck in traffic 5 minutes before she was supposed to be here. I told her to get off the highway and told her how to go a different way. She also has GPS she can use. 40 minutes later she still wasn't here and when I texted her she said she hadn't gotten off the highway but had stayed in the traffic. She ended up being an hr late.

Today she was 20 minutes late. There is no traffic today so I know that's not it. I know that at this point we just need someone new and I'm looking but it will take a little time. In the meantime I feel like there's no point in saying anything anymore but any suggestions on how to deal with this until I find someone new. I'm finding it harder and harder to be nice.

[Anonymous]

I am a nanny and I find constant lateness impossible to deal with from anyone. Your nanny will end up being fired from any job she gets for this unfortunate trait and any parent who is constantly late coming home will lose any nanny they hire. Period. Act like professionals, nannies! Be on-time every day and demand that your employers be on-time every day.

Do your nanny a huge favor and tell the reason you are letting her go. It should resonate with her that she is losing this job ONLY because she is constantly late.

[Anonymous]

Dock her pay when she's late.

[Anonymous]

I totally agree about needing to replace her.

In the meantime I would definitely start not paying her for when she's late.

I would be very direct with her when you let her go about why you're doing it (though I wouldn't tell her before then.)

Or - fire her today and use an agency while you're looking for a new permanent option.

[Anonymous]

I am surprised people are telling you to not pay her for the time she misses due to being late - I would assume that's a given.

Also, don't feel bad at all about firing her once you find someone else. What she's doing is a passive-aggressive way of quitting - by forcing someone else to fire you.

[Anonymous]

I leave for work at least 1 hr early even though it only takes me on average 20 min to get to there. I try and always be on time by leaving very early. I stop and get coffee and play on my phone while I wait to start work.

[Anonymous]

"Act like professionals, Nannies."

I'm a nanny and I agree with this 200%. Be punctual and demand that your MB/DB are punctual. I have never - not once - been late for my job since I accepted the position six months ago. Not once. And I never intend to be late. My MB/DB were late a few times in the beginning of this job and I clearly wasn't pleased - that and the fact that I'm never late has made them perfectly punctual since then.

To me it is about respect.

[Anonymous]

I am a weekday nanny who manages our weekend nanny. She is late 95% of the time. She only has to get to work once a week on time. She makes me furious!!!! She always has an excuse. I have told my boss many times, and my boss said she was on probation a few months ago when she was almost 2 hours late! But she is coming in late, and my boss is too busy to do anything about it. We live in NYC, where the are many modes of transportation, so being stuck in traffic is not a good excuse. Yesterday she was ONLY 5 minutes late (a record low), her "excuse" what I learned later was a lie, is that the door man wasn’t there to let her in. She will only text me AFTER being late 15 minutes, that she wil be another 15 minutes late! She drives me CRAZY!!!!! But the only one she is effecting by being late is me, so no one wants to get involved. She was fired by her weekday job after a month for being constantly AN HOUR LATE!

So this has just turned into my personal vent...
But the advice people have given me is, this is who she is and it is never going to change. She will never change into a professional. You can give her a million changes, but this is ingrained in her.

BTW, our nanny has been doing this for almost a year.

[Anonymous]

Until you find a replacement, ask the nanny to be there an hour earlier than she is needed, dock her pay for when she's late. You might overpay for a few hours, if she bothers to come on time, but you won't have to worry about being late to things yourself.

But fire her and be very clear why you're doing it as soon as you find a replacement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Act like professionals, Nannies."

I'm a nanny and I agree with this 200%. Be punctual and demand that your MB/DB are punctual. I have never - not once - been late for my job since I accepted the position six months ago. Not once. And I never intend to be late. My MB/DB were late a few times in the beginning of this job and I clearly wasn't pleased - that and the fact that I'm never late has made them perfectly punctual since then.

To me it is about respect.

Agree with this. My schedule has extra time in the morning and extra time in the evening scheduled into it (30 min on each end) to account for traffic or any last minute problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Until you find a replacement, ask the nanny to be there an hour earlier than she is needed, dock her pay for when she's late. You might overpay for a few hours, if she bothers to come on time, but you won't have to worry about being late to things yourself.

But fire her and be very clear why you're doing it as soon as you find a replacement.

I agree with this. It is what I did when our first nanny was always late. I knew any extra pay was temporary, and I was able to stay cool. Her lateness was seriously ruining my day, and when I accepted that nothing was going to make her arrive on time, I decided this was the best solution for my sanity.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks everyone for the advice. I'm already docking her pay when she is late but that doesn't seem to bother her. She literally is late more often than she's on time. Like the PP it truly ruins my day too. I'm always early when I come home. I built in an extra hour at the end of the day to ensure I'd never be late so I'm especially bothered that she doesn't show me the same consideration.

I already have her coming 15 minutes earlier than I need her to come but that's not even enough. I will have to extend that until I find someone else.

[Anonymous]

I always get to work 5 minutes early. I find a parking lot near by, usually less than 10 minutes away and on a side road and I will park there and sit for 15 minutes or so

[Anonymous]

i recently read chronic lateness is a sign of ADHD in adults. If this is her issue it might help her to understand it and find some coping mechanisms so she can have a successful life. Definitely tell her why she's being replaced and good luck moving forward.

[Anonymous]

Do any of you guys do an evaluation? I did a 6 month and plan to do the one year. It gives me a forum to talk about tardiness, following guidance, etc. So when she doesn't get paid, or other considerations, she cannot be shocked.