can not stand husband of family I work for..advice please

[Anonymous]

I have worked for this family off and on for years, I say off and on because the father is constantly getting laid off and then they will "let me go" that day with no notice. This has happened multiple times. I have a very flexible schedule and am in school so when it happens I just pick up work with other families in my area and then as soon as he finds a new job, they ask me back. Over the years, he has been an annoyance but lately has been driving me crazy as my bills and need for steady pay have changed and I am now in my own apartment and not living at home with my family anymore. I start work with them at 8 am, the mother is gone by 815 and the father is awake and up when I get there. He will then go back to bed once his wife has left and will sleep for hours getting up at random times. His work day starts offically at 9 but lately he has been rolling out of bed at 1030-1100 to go in. He's late everyday and I know he will be fired again soon. I can't stand horrible work ethics and he definitely doesn't care about losing yet another job. He also constantly goes against things his wife says for me to do, for example, she wanted to start letting their baby cry it out in the crib before falling asleep instead of having to rock and hold baby for hours before. She told me to try it. So I followed her wishes and put baby down and took monitor downstairs, baby started crying and woke up the husband at 1030. He immediately goes and gets the baby up and brings her to me very angry saying I can't just leave the baby to cry. Wth. Sorry it disturbed your morning nap, sir. Just following the mothers guidelines. He constantly undermines her and its confusing to me. The final straw of my annoyance was their 6 year old telling me that her daddy said I was dirty and gross. When I asked what she meant, being as she's 6 and I was confused, she said daddy said you're dirty and yuck and repeated it again saying she didn't know why daddy says it but he does. I work for multiple families and have never in my life heard anyone say this about me. I shower daily and am just shocked. I love the mom and the kids but am seriously considering looking for work elsewhere just due to the husband. Just needed to vent I guess..

[Anonymous]

You are in an impossible situation, Nanny. You must quit. This family has more problems than you can deal with. Quit.

[Anonymous]

You need to talk to the mom, and then you need to leave. Is he an alcoholic? Or depressed? Either way, you don't need to be there with him.

[Anonymous]

Why would you keep going back to a family that keeps treating you like this? You know he can't keep a job, you know they will fire you when he does, and you know they'll come crawling back. These problems are of your own making. You teach people how to treat you, and you've taught them that you're disposable. Quit.

[Anonymous]

In your title you ask for advice, then in the body of the post you give yourself the advice and claim it's just a vent.

[Anonymous]

Just find another job. I don't know why you stayed this long but certainly there shouldn't be any question about what to do.

- MB

[Anonymous]

Agree with pretty much all the PPs. You need to find a new job but if you like the mom and kids you should talk to the mom. Not because you plan to stay but out of courtesy to her because she may have no idea what is going on. Does the DB have substance abuse issues? I agree you definitely don't need to be there with him but if the MB doesn't know what is going on and you care about the kids I'd at least tell her what has been happening.

[Anonymous]

Why do you continue to work for this family? It will never be stable, you know the father does not like or appreciate you, but you continue to go back for abuse. Yes, you may like the mom and kids, but do you really want to be in this situation? They will continue to fire you nod then hire you again later because you allow them to. You know the dad is bad news but you still stay. You need to move on and visit mom and kids when he is not around.