Vent
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Anonymous
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I just need to vent a little because I'm very frustrated today. We hired our current nanny 5 months ago while I was pregnant with DC3. Originally it was for 18hrs/week (three 6 hr days) with the understanding that we would increase her hours after the baby was born and then increase them again after I went back to work. I was very concerned that she might change her mind later and had several discussions with her and she assured me it would definitely not be a problem. She has children but has family to help her so she said many times she'd be able to do the additional hours. When the baby was born we increased her hours to 28 hrs/week (four 7 hr days). I went back to work this week and increased her hours again to 34 hrs (two 10 hr days and two 7 hr days). I work 2 days a week but with 3 children I really need the extra help on the other days. She told me today that due to an issue she has with her own childcare she can only work 3 days a week. She also now can't work on some days that I have to work because she volunteers at her children's school.
Besides the fact that i obviously need her on days I'm working i reslly need her those 2 extra days as well. She doesn't do anything other than child care and DC2 hardly naps so I really need a couple of hours on those days to do laundry, prepare dinner etc. in addition DC1 and 2 really need some extra attention now that there is a new baby so I'm trying to spend some individual time with each of them so I need the nanny to watch the other 2 while I do that. In particular DC1 has been extra clingy to me and crying at school since the baby was born so I'm trying to give her extra attention. Aside from this she is really good with the children and they love her so I'm really frustrated. I've gotten the sense from her that she wants us to let her go and I'm angry she agreed to this job, knowing the terms in the first place, and has now changed her mind. My children are attached to her and its a difficult time for them having a new baby in the house and now on top of that I have to find a new nanny that they will have to adjust to. We were very clear from the beginning that we were looking for someone really long term. |
Anonymous
| I'm not saying that you shouldn't hire someone with kids, but having kids yourself you need to realize that stuff comes up. I would recommend letting her go and hiring a younger nanny who does not have kids. |
Anonymous
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I don't think this was your fault, OP, and you shouldn't not hire somebody just because they have children. There are plenty of nannies with children that act professionally (unlike the one you have), just as there are plenty of nannies without children that act unprofessionally.
I understand it's frustrating, but I would find a new nanny. You unfortunately got burned and stuck with a bad situation so I would find a way out ASAP |
Anonymous
| I think you need to say that this is the job,and she either can or can't do it. Give her a week to let you know, and offer to write her a good rec letter. |
Anonymous
| OP here. I should add that when she told me this she also said she would understand if we needed to find someone else. It just adds to my thought that she just doesn't want this job anymore. |
Anonymous
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Hmm.....troll?
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/nanny-forum/posts/list/291376.page |
Anonymous
Ha, not a troll that was also my post. I almost added that to my OP in this thread but it was long enough already. But since you brought it up...after I talked to her about not using her mother she seemed totally fine for a week. Then she told me she could only do 3 days. That combined with how she wanted her mom to work for us sometimes makes me think she just doesn't want to do the hours for this job she originally agreed to. Also, if her mom was free to fill in for her with us why isn't she free to take care of her children since that is part of the issue. |
Anonymous
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She quit already! Saying she "understands if you want to find someone else" is her way of saying that she won't do this job for the hours you want.
It sucks for you, but my guess is that she never really thought she'd have an almost full time job, or didn't think it would be as hard to be a full time nanny plus take care of her own kids as it is. When it actually happened, she realized she couldn't do it. She's too embarrassed to just say "I quit," but she has basically done so. Tell her you're looking, and ask if she'll stay until you find someone (or possibly even help hire/transition). |
Anonymous
| Sorry OP but I think you brought this on yourself. Anyone who is willing to be available to you full time in the future likely needs full time pay right now. You shouldn't have hedged. You need a full time nanny, you should have hired a full time nanny, and you should have been paying for a full time nanny from the beginning if you expected to retain your employee and their availability. You were trying to save a buck, and what you got was a flaky part time nanny. |
Anonymous
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This is why I don't hire nannies who have their own kids unless the kids are grown adults.
It sucks but you'll have to find a new nanny. Then fire this one for breach of contract and don't give her severance or a good reference. |
Anonymous
| ^ totally disagree this was OP's fault. It sucks that the nanny either was not straight with you or underestimating how hard it would be for her to work it out. But you have no choice but to rip the bandaid off and look for someone new. |
Anonymous
OP here. Thank you! i actually used those exact words to DH earlier tonight. I said we just need to rip the bandaid off and find someone new. |
Anonymous
| I think she is hoping for unemployment which is why she is waiting for you to fire her. |
Anonymous
She's being fired for not being able to show up for work on the days she's scheduled, so she doesn't get unemployment unless the OP decides to not contest it. Don't worry about the unemployment thing, OP. Find yourself a full time nanny. |
Anonymous
I didn't say she would get unemployment, but in her mind she is going to get unemployment if they let her go. I also hope OP had this written in the contract that the days would increase. |