Nanny share - nanny complains about other MB
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Anonymous
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We have had a share for 6 months and we always share at the other family's house. The nanny recently started complaining to me about how the other MB is taking advantage of her. She told me she has been working 2 hours extra daily and not being paid extra for it. (I was not aware of this until now because I always pick up my DD at the original designated time). I don't know why the nanny agreed to this except I think she is afraid of losing her job. She seems afraid of the other MB. Now she always complains to me and has asked if I know anyone else who needs a nanny because she wants a new job. I know I should just confront the other MB but she will probably just tell me the nanny agreed to those hours with her.
I want to get out of the situation now, but the nanny has been good and I don't want her to be fired. I suggested to the other MB that we might be ready to move on to a new situation and she only told me what a bad idea it is and how the transition would negatively affect my DD. I am of course still planning to find another situation - what would you do? |
Anonymous
| I think your first step should have been to encourage open communication between your share partner and your nanny. You're all in the share together, so simply doing your part isn't enough. Everyone has to be on the same page. It probably is time to get out, but try not to screw your nanny over in the process. Maybe give her a heads up about what you're thinking. She may even want to come with you. Good luck! |
Anonymous
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Other than listening to your nanny's complaints, I would not talk to other MB about it. Your nanny needs to deal with the other MB directly and I would encourage her to do so.
I would also get out the share since it does not sound harmonious enough to last. If you like your nanny, look at the terms of the contract (assuming you have a written one with a termination and notice provision) and make her a job offer to come with you (and find another family to join the share) and terminate the share. The other family may also want to make her an offer so I would not do this in a sneaky way. When we ended our share, I told our nanny that we planned to give our notice of termination but that we would like to continue working with her. Then she gave her notice as well, got offers from both us and the other share family, and ultimately decided to go with us and a new share family we found together. |
Anonymous
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I disagree with the PP. I am a nanny and I was once in a very similar position. I tried for months to work things out with one of the MB's but to no avail. It was incredibly frustrating and I only sat down to discuss it with the other MB when I felt like I had exhausted all methods of fixing the problem. Your nanny has two employers and it is the responsibility of all three parties to make sure things are working. If you are going to let your nanny get taken advantage of and offer no support, you do not belong in a share (nor does the other MB).
When I brought my issues to the other MB, all four parents and I sat down for a meeting and our issues were resolved. It is three years later and we are all in the same share and I credit our willingness to work together for that. You need to discuss this with the other MB and if you don't want to get involved, you need to stop letting the other MB sway your decision and just leave. It will be better for you as well as your nanny |
Anonymous
| An MB here who was once in a share. I think whether you bring this up with the other share family would depend on whether the issue is something that really affects both families. The fact that your nanny isn't getting paid by the other family for the additional hours she is working for them alone is really an issue that I don't think you should weigh in on. Obviously it has become such a problem that your nanny is unhappy in the share does somewhat make it your issue but I would be very hesitant to get involved and try to suggest to the other family that they need to start paying the nanny for the extra hours. If I was the MB who was not paying (for whatever reason), I would be unhappy to learn that the nanny we share was telling the other MB about it. It is really just between them and her. Has your nanny actually talked to the other MB about it? If not, that should be her first step and she should have done that before complaining to you. I would think my nanny is being unprofessional if she complained to me before trying to resolve the issue herself with the other family. |
Anonymous
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MBs have previously argued that a share is one job. This is another situation where you want it both ways. If its one job, you are joint employers. That means any issue is a shared issue, and you all need to work it out. If it were two jobs, you could rightfully be hands off about it, but its not. If the nanny is unhappy, and the other family isn't acting right, you're damn right this affects you. Do you want to get wrapped up in a legal battle if the nanny rightfully decides to sue for her wages?
I was in a share once with one great family and one completely ridiculous family. Ridiculous family frequently forget to pay me, came home late, and were just generally awful employers. I had joint meetings, sent emails, talked to the ridiculous family, all to no avail. I finally had a sit down with the otherwise awesome family to flat out tell them that I wasn't getting paid on time and that I was no longer going to babysit the their share partners about it. They needed to deal with it. They said it was none of their business. I found another job in 2 days. They were DEVESTATED when I gave notice. Tears, yelling, finger pointing. "We didn't do anything wrong?!?!" When you're in a share, what the other family does affects you, as does their relationship with your nanny. You can't pretend it has nothing to do with you. If you don't want to be a boss and a team player, a share is not for you. |
Anonymous
| YES you talk to the MB! You are the joint employer in a share, and it is your responsibility to make sure your employee is being treated fairly. You are probably even legally liable for the extra time she is being forced to work without pay. I can't believe this is even a question. |
Anonymous
| Another MB here. I have never even thought of my nanny share as one job. There is one contract that specifies how much each family has to pay the nanny and we have separate tax ID's, separate payroll etc. We are sharing the nanny with another family and coordinate the logistics of location and supplies with them but that is really it. Our contract also addresses other issues that can effect everyone like a sick policy and start and end times. We've never had an issue like the one OP describes but I can just picture the other family being totally pissed at us for interfereing in an issue like this. If I were the nanny, I would ternate the share and just give the family she likes the opportunity to find a new share family. |
Anonymous
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Legally, you are coemployers. This protects the nanny in situations where one family just quits the share or the hours get split in a way where she might lose out in overtime. (Example, if the nanny works over 40 hours in a week, she gets OT, even if she didn't work for either family individually for over 40 hours.)
Google "joint employment relationship" if you want to see the actual law. This first came up on this board a few months ago on a discussion of minimum wage (whether each family owed it or just jointly) In that case, the joint relationship works to the employers advantage. However, this illustrates how the law protects the nanny as well. |
Anonymous
| I think it sounds like your nanny is trying to manipulate you. Maybe she is hoping by telling you you will then say that you will seperate from the share family and the nanny just work for you. If the other family are being late she needs to take it up with them unless it directlt effects you and your family |
Anonymous
+1 This was argued into the ground over minimum wage and MBs used these laws to defend individual share families paying less than minimum wage. You can't have it both ways, and the law says its this way. You are coemployers, and what one does affects the other. If they aren't paying her for extra hours, and she has come to you about it, you either need to straighten it out with the other family or pay her yourself, but you ARE just as legally on the hook for this as they are. |
Anonymous
+2. Share MB and former employment lawyer here. If you are knowingly allowing the other family to under pay her you could be liable too. And even if that were not the law, it is the sensible and right thing to do to stick up for the nanny and help resolve such disputes. This is somebody you are paying to watch your children, you should care about their working conditions!!! |
Anonymous
| I'm a nanny and I don't do nanny share's for some of the reasons listed above. Too much drama. |