VENT: MB&DB don't respect child's food allergy - child in hospital

[Anonymous]

I am absolutely FURIOUS with my MB & DB right now. Their daughter (4-yrs-old) has a fairly serious peanut allergy. Neither MB or DB grew up around people with food allergies and neither have ever had to deal with a food allergy prior to their daughter being diagnosed. I have 2 siblings with severe food allergies so I've been the "expert" on grocery shopping, cross contamination, and generally teaching MB and DB how to cope with having a child with food allergies without having it rule their lives. In the past they've been careless about it - not wiping down counters after making themselves something with peanut butter or buying baked goods without checking the label. Whatever- she is their daughter, its their house, and as long as their daughter doesn't ingest it she's fine. Well this morning they didn't wipe down the counter after making peanut butter toast, then they made her toast which ended up having a smear of peanut butter on it. She had a severe reaction, I stuck her with an epi pen while MB called 911 and she's now in the hospital. I'm hoping this is a serious scare to get MB and DB to realize allergies aren't a joke and that they need to be very aware.

I'm also planning on having a sit down discussion with MB and DB tomorrow. I want to ask what steps they think we should take to avoid this ever happening again and I'm going to offer (again) to go through the pantry and remove unsafe foods.

Any other suggestions on what to say or do are welcome but this was mostly just a vent.

[Anonymous]

Have you mentioned all the peanut alternatives there are? Sunflower butter, almond butter, cashew butter. They sound selfish. I hope the little girl is okay.

[Anonymous]

Yikes, that sounds awful.

FWIW, if this episode doesn't scare the pants off the parents and get them to take it more seriously then they have even bigger issues that you will not be able to solve. I think you need to calm down a bit and remember that you will never be able to fundamentally change who they are. So try to be on their side in dealing with this. I'm saying this because things like "I'm absolutely FURIOUS with ..." and "I'm planning on having a sit down..." don't really sound like an employee talking to an employer.

I'm not saying you're wrong to be upset, but it just sounds like you might need to rein in the anger if you want them to feel good about their working relationship with you.

[Anonymous]

Yes, we've discussed alternatives before they just haven't been willing to change.

And I know the "furious" and "going to sit down" aren't exactly terms one uses when discussing their employers but the fact that they could have killed their daughter has me pretty upset. Hence, waiting til tomorrow to talk to them. If they aren't willing to make some changes for their daughter's safety I don't know if I can actually work for them any longer which probably sounds horrible but I'm a nanny and I should be working with the parents to keep her safe not trying to keep her safe from their stupid selfishness. I mean really - it takes less than 30 seconds to spray and wipe down a counter top.

[Anonymous]

Maybe this will wake them up to the seriousness of the problem, but you don't need to treat them like little children who misbehaved. I'm sure they feel terrible for what happened.
But you know what, even the most viligant parents screw up. I've known a couple of parents of children with food allergies who are typically on top of things who have made mistakes like this.

Calm down and work with the parents and support them.

[Anonymous]

Make sure you don't over step here op. it's their child.

[Anonymous]

Why do they even have peanut butter in the house?

[Anonymous]

You say you can help them deal worth am allergic child without it ruling their lives but if you're planning to go through the pantry and presumably get rid of peanut foods then it is ruling their lives. A better solution might be too a have a bin where peanut foods go so they don't have to completely eliminate peanuts from their lives but the daughter can be taught foods in those bins are off limit.

Calm down and like pp said, be on their team and ask them what you can do to support them in making the pantry and kitchen safer.

[Anonymous]

I think you should quit. It would be horrible if she had a serious reaction on your watch and died because of something they did. Mom probably selfish but I'd rather not risk the possibility of something like that happening to me. I wouldn't want a lawsuit on my ass

[Anonymous]

Wow, what a completely unbelievable story.

[Anonymous]

CPS. Now.

These assholes are putting their child's life in danger.

[Anonymous]

If this is true, you need to resin immediately and call CPS to report. Having a child die on your watch would ruin you career in this field. Either that will be a wake-up call or they will eventually kill their kid.

[Anonymous]

Do not call CPS. The kid is at the hospital, right? Let the Dr call IF THEY THINK IT'S WARRANTED. And if it's warranted, they WILL call.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do not call CPS. The kid is at the hospital, right? Let the Dr call IF THEY THINK IT'S WARRANTED. And if it's warranted, they WILL call.

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do not call CPS. The kid is at the hospital, right? Let the Dr call IF THEY THINK IT'S WARRANTED. And if it's warranted, they WILL call.

Exactly.

Yes.

Calm the heck down. Unless you're working for monsters (in which case, presumably, you wouldn't still be there) these parents love their child and had an unbelievably terrifying moment.

Should they have taken it more seriously? It certainly sounds like it. Are they human? Yup.

You probably should find another position. I can't imagine that the parents are unaware of your judgment and scorn and if I were in their shoes I'd want to start over with someone who could actually be an ally instead of judge and jury.

Thank goodness the little girl is ok.