24/7 nannies

[Anonymous]

I have an honest to god question regarding this phenomenon.

Why do people have children and then pay others to literally raise their children 24 hours a day 7 days a week? Its something I haven't been able to wrap my head around. I'm not trying to be snarky or looking for snarky answers I just don't understand it.

[Anonymous]

As a SAHM with three children under 3 (a single and then twins), and a husband who works long hours, I hired a 24/7 nanny to help me. I love my children and am also with them basically 24/7 but I needed help going from 1 to 3 kids in diapers.

[Anonymous]

It's the same "parents" who pay their housekeepers double than the nanny. Who will hire someone so cheap, illegal, and who doesn't speak English well, but then brag to their friends that their child is "bilingual". These kids are accessories. That's why they are dressed up in a wardrobe that cost the same amount as anannies annual salary. The 24hr nanny is the one will raise this child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's the same "parents" who pay their housekeepers double than the nanny. Who will hire someone so cheap, illegal, and who doesn't speak English well, but then brag to their friends that their child is "bilingual". These kids are accessories. That's why they are dressed up in a wardrobe that cost the same amount as anannies annual salary. The 24hr nanny is the one will raise this child.

This is exactly right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a SAHM with three children under 3 (a single and then twins), and a husband who works long hours, I hired a 24/7 nanny to help me. I love my children and am also with them basically 24/7 but I needed help going from 1 to 3 kids in diapers.

I hear you. My friend with triplets hired 24/5 help, even though she was a fulltime mom. Hubby worked the weekends.

[Anonymous]

I suppose I understand it more when there are multiples involved, though as a nanny for triplets it really isn't that hard once you have a routine established. For parents of quadruplets or more I imagine that extra set of hands is also for safety.

[Anonymous]

My friend is a trauma doctor. When her husband passed away, she realized it was easier to have two nannies, one 24/3 the other 24/4, then it was to find someone to take her 3 kids if she was called in on an emergency or had to work long hours past her normal shift.

Both have in law apartment type set ups and are free to come and go as they please on days off. I see both frequently and they seem pretty happy.

Anyways, not all employers of these nannies are terrible people who don't want children. My friend had no intention of having two nannies, but when your husband dies unexpectedly and you have odd and sometimes unpredictable work hours, you do what you have to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I suppose I understand it more when there are multiples involved, though as a nanny for triplets it really isn't that hard once you have a routine established. For parents of quadruplets or more I imagine that extra set of hands is also for safety.

I would also not really compare a nanny having triplets during her work hours to a parent who is taking care of triplets 24/7. Unless the nanny also returns home after work to her OWN triplets, she gets a break from it. The parent does not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I suppose I understand it more when there are multiples involved, though as a nanny for triplets it really isn't that hard once you have a routine established. For parents of quadruplets or more I imagine that extra set of hands is also for safety.

I would also not really compare a nanny having triplets during her work hours to a parent who is taking care of triplets 24/7. Unless the nanny also returns home after work to her OWN triplets, she gets a break from it. The parent does not.

No! A 24hr nanny does not return home- she is on duty 24hrs a day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I suppose I understand it more when there are multiples involved, though as a nanny for triplets it really isn't that hard once you have a routine established. For parents of quadruplets or more I imagine that extra set of hands is also for safety.

I would also not really compare a nanny having triplets during her work hours to a parent who is taking care of triplets 24/7. Unless the nanny also returns home after work to her OWN triplets, she gets a break from it. The parent does not.

No! A 24hr nanny does not return home- she is on duty 24hrs a day.

I got it, but it sounded like what you were implying is that a parent of triplets shouldn't have such a difficult time once a routine is established, such that you can only sort of see why they would want a 24-hour nanny to help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an honest to god question regarding this phenomenon.

Why do people have children and then pay others to literally raise their children 24 hours a day 7 days a week? Its something I haven't been able to wrap my head around. I'm not trying to be snarky or looking for snarky answers I just don't understand it.

Because not everyone is interested in working themselves to the bone or adding as much stress to their life as possible for the dubious benefit of your approval.

[Anonymous]

It's not even about working yourself to the bone. People who hire nannies for 60 plus hours per week, you could argue are doing so to alleviate some pressure on themselves. Say they work 59 hours themselves, and have the nanny stay for an extra hour or two so they can make dinner in peace or even simply unwind from a long day before taking over in the evening. That is avoiding working yourself to the bone. But, assuming there are no extenuating circumstances like the PPs have mentioned, 24/7 care goes beyond not wanting to overwork yourself. You're handing off the primary caregiver role to another person. Your children take a backseat to your job, your schedule, your activities, etc. Why the hell have kids, if those other things are so much more important?

[Anonymous]

*50 not 59

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not even about working yourself to the bone. People who hire nannies for 60 plus hours per week, you could argue are doing so to alleviate some pressure on themselves. Say they work 59 hours themselves, and have the nanny stay for an extra hour or two so they can make dinner in peace or even simply unwind from a long day before taking over in the evening. That is avoiding working yourself to the bone. But, assuming there are no extenuating circumstances like the PPs have mentioned, 24/7 care goes beyond not wanting to overwork yourself. You're handing off the primary caregiver role to another person. Your children take a backseat to your job, your schedule, your activities, etc. Why the hell have kids, if those other things are so much more important?

+1

This. If you are a patent of multiples or like the PP who's husband passed away those are extenuating circumstances. But the 24/7 nannies you see in the news who's employers are too busy with their social like to raise their children- they shouldn't have become patents. When you have kids your priorities change - that doesn't mean you have to give up your entire life but it does mean you step up and be a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not even about working yourself to the bone. People who hire nannies for 60 plus hours per week, you could argue are doing so to alleviate some pressure on themselves. Say they work 59 hours themselves, and have the nanny stay for an extra hour or two so they can make dinner in peace or even simply unwind from a long day before taking over in the evening. That is avoiding working yourself to the bone. But, assuming there are no extenuating circumstances like the PPs have mentioned, 24/7 care goes beyond not wanting to overwork yourself. You're handing off the primary caregiver role to another person. Your children take a backseat to your job, your schedule, your activities, etc. Why the hell have kids, if those other things are so much more important?

Few things in life are permanent. Perhaps the employer of 24/7 nannies wants more help in the early childhood and will become more hands-on as children grow. Perhaps they'd like to maximize their earning power when they have a chance. Or perhaps they are lazy and selfish. Fact is that you and I have no clue.