Relative as au pair?

[Anonymous]

I have numerous teenage and early 20's cousins in a European country with pretty high unemployment, so a few of them would jump at the chance to live with us for a year or two here and take care of our baby. We can't afford a full time nanny, but a relative would be happy with what we pay our current day care plus room and board. Problem is, there doesn't seek to be any way to do that legally within our current visa structure.

Au Pair agencies do work in that European country...can you pick your own family member to be your au pair? I hate the idea of throwing $$$ away to an au pair agency for a Mach we pick ourselves, but I don't know of any other way we could bring a cousin here in this capacity. (or is there something I'm missing?)

[Anonymous]

NP. Hope some immigration lawyers can weigh in.

[Anonymous]

I don't know that there is any rule against having a relative as an au pair -- but I suspect it would raise some red flags with the agencies for immigration purposes.

I think there is at least one agency that has a reduced fee if you have already "found" your au pair -- but the fees aren't reduced much, because the agency still has to provide certain things (like medical insurance, training, plane flight, etc.)

I don't see any reason why you couldn't do it as long as you do it legitimately through an agency. But that is probably the only way to do it legally.

[Anonymous]

I know people have done it without agencies- def find an immigration lawyer who can help.

[Anonymous]

Ah:

http://aupairmom.com/can-we-bring-a-prematch-au-pair-to-the-us-without-an-agency/2012/03/07/celiaharquail/

http://j1visa.state.gov/participants/

[Anonymous]

you should ask an immigration attorney. I have several people who had relatives come from abroad to help with babies and ended up staying (legally) for 1 year and longer. the case I know best the relative was the mother of the wife (husband and wife, us citizen had new baby and mother of wife, foreigner, came as a tourist intending to sta few weeks and then extended visa to one year with the help of an immigration attorney), she had room and board but she was not paid. an immigration attorney shouydl be able to tell you if you can do it and how

[Anonymous]

Most agencies will offer a discount for a prematch.

[Anonymous]

You can definitely find your own match in advance and get a small discount for having done so. Your best bet is to find the cheapest agency, since you won't actually care about their service (at least I hope you won't need any intervention with a family member!) If it was me, I would NOT tell the agency that I was related to the selected AP. I think that's just inviting trouble. Obviously, if you share a last name, they may ask and I certainly wouldn't lie either. But, expect them to not allow it even though there is NO state department regulation specifically addressing or prohibiting this set of circumstances.

Frankly I think it's a great idea. Wish I had some EU relatives that I could bring over to help with my kids. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

As a longtime HM (7 years and counting), I'm thinking that this could actually be a really complicated and fraught avenue to take. What if things didn't end up working out well? What if the young woman didn't end up being a good fit for your family? Only if you know the person personally and well would I do this. otherwise, I think there is just too much that could potentially go wrong here, and it's much easier to correct (or, God forbid, even rematch with) someone without there being the heavy layer of "family" in the way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a longtime HM (7 years and counting), I'm thinking that this could actually be a really complicated and fraught avenue to take. What if things didn't end up working out well? What if the young woman didn't end up being a good fit for your family? Only if you know the person personally and well would I do this. otherwise, I think there is just too much that could potentially go wrong here, and it's much easier to correct (or, God forbid, even rematch with) someone without there being the heavy layer of "family" in the way.

You're nuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a longtime HM (7 years and counting), I'm thinking that this could actually be a really complicated and fraught avenue to take. What if things didn't end up working out well? What if the young woman didn't end up being a good fit for your family? Only if you know the person personally and well would I do this. otherwise, I think there is just too much that could potentially go wrong here, and it's much easier to correct (or, God forbid, even rematch with) someone without there being the heavy layer of "family" in the way.

+1 taking care of children full time is extremely hard. And living with another adult brings with it a whole unique set ofchallenges. I think it would be more difficult to address issues with someone you are related to than a nonrelative.

If something sounds too good to be true ....

[Anonymous]

Considering all the nanny MB horror stories here, how can anyone say, "beware of hiring a relative"? Maybe one should be more aware of hiring a total stranger.
Makes no sense to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Considering all the nanny MB horror stories here, how can anyone say, "beware of hiring a relative"? Maybe one should be more aware of hiring a total stranger.
Makes no sense to me.

Because it is a heck of a lot easier to fire (or quit) a total stranger than a relative. Have you never heard the phrase "never mix family and business." Here let me make it easier for you to understand: http://modernbusinesslife.com/?p=149

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Considering all the nanny MB horror stories here, how can anyone say, "beware of hiring a relative"? Maybe one should be more aware of hiring a total stranger.
Makes no sense to me.

Because it is a heck of a lot easier to fire (or quit) a total stranger than a relative. Have you never heard the phrase "never mix family and business." Here let me make it easier for you to understand: http://modernbusinesslife.com/?p=149

Now we get it. Having a kid was a business transaction. And so is raising him.
Beautiful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Considering all the nanny MB horror stories here, how can anyone say, "beware of hiring a relative"? Maybe one should be more aware of hiring a total stranger.
Makes no sense to me.

Because it is a heck of a lot easier to fire (or quit) a total stranger than a relative. Have you never heard the phrase "never mix family and business." Here let me make it easier for you to understand: http://modernbusinesslife.com/?p=149

Now we get it. Having a kid was a business transaction. And so is raising him.
Beautiful.

No, you don't get it. Yes, hiring someone to provide childcare services so that you can work and provide for your family is a business transaction. Birthing one and raising him is not.

Idiot.