Relative as au pair?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Considering all the nanny MB horror stories here, how can anyone say, "beware of hiring a relative"? Maybe one should be more aware of hiring a total stranger.
Makes no sense to me.

Because it is a heck of a lot easier to fire (or quit) a total stranger than a relative. Have you never heard the phrase "never mix family and business." Here let me make it easier for you to understand: http://modernbusinesslife.com/?p=149

Now we get it. Having a kid was a business transaction. And so is raising him.
Beautiful.

No, you don't get it. Yes, hiring someone to provide childcare services so that you can work and provide for your family is a business transaction. Birthing one and raising him is not.

Idiot.

Many nannies and parents consider their relationships to be so much more than
a "business transaction".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can definitely find your own match in advance and get a small discount for having done so. Your best bet is to find the cheapest agency, since you won't actually care about their service (at least I hope you won't need any intervention with a family member!) If it was me, I would NOT tell the agency that I was related to the selected AP. I think that's just inviting trouble. Obviously, if you share a last name, they may ask and I certainly wouldn't lie either. But, expect them to not allow it even though there is NO state department regulation specifically addressing or prohibiting this set of circumstances.

Frankly I think it's a great idea. Wish I had some EU relatives that I could bring over to help with my kids. Good luck.

If you're lucky enough to have a willing and suitable relative or friend, that is really the best thing for your child, imo.

[Anonymous]

"Many nannies and parents consider their relationships to be so much more than
a "business transaction". "

Yes, and so do parents, once the relationship has developed to this point. But in the beginning, before both parties are really known to one another, it is an employment arrangement. Heck, there's even a contract involved, that spells out the terms of the employment arrangement! To pretend otherwise is pretty naive.

OP may well know her relatives well and be in a good position to assess whether they would make a good AP. In this case, this sounds like a great approach. But if these people are just names to her (aunt Suzie's second cousin's daughter), then it might make things more complicated to bring that person over as an au pair, only to find out that the person in question in no way is suitable to care for OP's children or to live with OP for the year as a member of the family.

[Anonymous]

I brought my cousin and it's beautiful.

She's a F1 student, she goes to school and helps us out when she's free. We give her a stipend to cover expenses with books and transportation. Once she gets her OPT we'll hire her.

[Anonymous]

How did you do that, 16;15? An F1 needs to be in F1 status for a full academic year before she can seek off campus employment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How did you do that, 16;15? An F1 needs to be in F1 status for a full academic year before she can seek off campus employment.

It's called "breaking the law". No students may work on an F1 visa unless it is work study or degree related.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did you do that, 16;15? An F1 needs to be in F1 status for a full academic year before she can seek off campus employment.

It's called "breaking the law". No students may work on an F1 visa unless it is work study or degree related.

nope, we're not breaking any law.

for now she's just helping whenever she's not in school. by helping i mean she doesn't have a set schedule, she does what she wants and when she wants. once she graduates we'll hire her on OPT.

[Anonymous]

But, you pay her, right, PP?

If you pay her, that's called working and students on F1 visas have work restrictions.

[Anonymous]

Not the PP, but in her post she said that she gave the relative a stipend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But, you pay her, right, PP?

If you pay her, that's called working and students on F1 visas have work restrictions.

The stipend we give her is not based on her work. We'd give her that money no matter what since she needs to buy books, her transportation to go to school, her food while she's there, material for her classes, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But, you pay her, right, PP?

If you pay her, that's called working and students on F1 visas have work restrictions.

The stipend we give her is not based on her work. We'd give her that money no matter what since she needs to buy books, her transportation to go to school, her food while she's there, material for her classes, etc.

So what you're saying is that if she decided she didn't have time to be so "helpful" with your household and your kids, you would still house her and feed her and give her spending money out of the kindness of your heart. And then pay an actual employee to do the stuff she no longer does…

I find that pretty unlikely… but maybe you really are that kind, generous … and wealthy.

[Anonymous]

The PP is getting around the system, but whats wrong with that? It shouldnt be this hard to have a relative or family friend come and stay with us for a year and help out with childcare. The system makes people have to find loopholes.
Fot what its worth I think its a good idea.