Nanny called our toddler daughter a bad name

[Anonymous]

Our daughters' nanny has been nothing but fabulous pretty much since we hired here over a year and a half ago. But today, my 3 1/2 year old daughter told me that the nanny called her a "puta." I also inferred from everything my older daughter told me that the nanny is favoring our younger one (13 months). My husband and I both know that our toddler is a lot to handle at times. She's in the throws of threenager-dom and can be totally wretched. But we feel the name calling is a huge warning sign. She we start looking for a new nanny or give her the benefit of the doubt and just discuss this with her?

[Anonymous]

that sounds bad, since I just looked up the meaning. To be fair I have told kids not to act like a brat but have never straight up called them a brat. I have to be really fed up to do that though and they would have to be A LOT older than 3...old enough to know they're acting like a brat.

Sounds like your kid is a challenge and the nanny isn't up for it. Maybe your daughter would have a better relationship with someone else...whether it's a personality thing between the two, or the nanny doesn't have a strong background in child development and how to extract the best from the kid or whatever, it's hard to say from here, but follow your gut.

[Anonymous]

I had to google puta, it's a curse word like bitch, right? Totally unacceptable and verbally abusive. Way worse than getting frustrating and saying that she's being a brat

[Anonymous]

Start looking for someone else. That's unacceptable. I would fire her as soon as I found another nanny.

[Anonymous]

Whoa. Puta? that's equivalent to whore/bitch. That is much, much worse than calling a child a brat.

I'm inclined to discuss it with her, but wow. That's so unacceptable.

[Anonymous]

Unbelievable. Wow.
What decipline measures do you use with your firstborn?

[Anonymous]

Three year olds say a lot of things. I have one. Based on what I read it is normal for this age to say things which are not necessarily true. It can simply be that your daughter misunderstood what your nanny said. Definitely makes sense to get the story straight and talk to the nanny before making any decisions like that

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Three year olds say a lot of things. I have one. Based on what I read it is normal for this age to say things which are not necessarily true. It can simply be that your daughter misunderstood what your nanny said. Definitely makes sense to get the story straight and talk to the nanny before making any decisions like that

howwoulda 3year old know that word unless she heardit from the presumably Brazilian/Filipino nanny? not exactly the word you hear on the playground or on tv.

[Anonymous]

Everyone has their moments when they say or do something they are not proud of. I would let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Three year olds say a lot of things. I have one. Based on what I read it is normal for this age to say things which are not necessarily true. It can simply be that your daughter misunderstood what your nanny said. Definitely makes sense to get the story straight and talk to the nanny before making any decisions like that

howwoulda 3year old know that word unless she heardit from the presumably Brazilian/Filipino nanny? not exactly the word you hear on the playground or on tv.

Actually that term is heard more often in Spanish and can be heard on Spanish soap operas or on the street in an ethically diverse area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Three year olds say a lot of things. I have one. Based on what I read it is normal for this age to say things which are not necessarily true. It can simply be that your daughter misunderstood what your nanny said. Definitely makes sense to get the story straight and talk to the nanny before making any decisions like that

howwoulda 3year old know that word unless she heardit from the presumably Brazilian/Filipino nanny? not exactly the word you hear on the playground or on tv.

3 year olds can not come up with curse words without hearing them from somewhere first. I believe the nanny cursed at her, but at the very least she used the word in front of her which is also not ok.

[Anonymous]

^ meant to say agree with second pp. an add on from what you were saying

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Three year olds say a lot of things. I have one. Based on what I read it is normal for this age to say things which are not necessarily true. It can simply be that your daughter misunderstood what your nanny said. Definitely makes sense to get the story straight and talk to the nanny before making any decisions like that

howwoulda 3year old know that word unless she heardit from the presumably Brazilian/Filipino nanny? not exactly the word you hear on the playground or on tv.

To be fair, I live in an area with a very large hispanic population and a lot of Spanish speakers, so it would not be unheard of for a kid to hear such words on the playground. Puta is a pretty common insult in Southwestern US and Mexican Spanish. In fact, I have heard some very colorful words from the two-year-old little ones I teach in both English and Spanish.

That said, OP, I would definitely have a talk with your nanny, especially if you are not aware of any other ways she might have been exposed to the word. It sounds like a definite red flag, especially since you already have concerns about the nanny's interaction with your daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Three year olds say a lot of things. I have one. Based on what I read it is normal for this age to say things which are not necessarily true. It can simply be that your daughter misunderstood what your nanny said. Definitely makes sense to get the story straight and talk to the nanny before making any decisions like that

howwoulda 3year old know that word unless she heardit from the presumably Brazilian/Filipino nanny? not exactly the word you hear on the playground or on tv.

3 year olds can not come up with curse words without hearing them from somewhere first. I believe the nanny cursed at her, but at the very least she used the word in front of her which is also not ok.

the 3 year old might have heard the nanny use that phone in a phone conversation with someone else. I mean we use that word in Italian. Some times me and my close girlfriends would use that word in a jocking way on each other. This word can have totally different implication when used in a different context with different intonation among friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Three year olds say a lot of things. I have one. Based on what I read it is normal for this age to say things which are not necessarily true. It can simply be that your daughter misunderstood what your nanny said. Definitely makes sense to get the story straight and talk to the nanny before making any decisions like that

howwoulda 3year old know that word unless she heardit from the presumably Brazilian/Filipino nanny? not exactly the word you hear on the playground or on tv.

3 year olds can not come up with curse words without hearing them from somewhere first. I believe the nanny cursed at her, but at the very least she used the word in front of her which is also not ok.

the 3 year old might have heard the nanny use that phone in a phone conversation with someone else. I mean we use that word in Italian. Some times me and my close girlfriends would use that word in a jocking way on each other. This word can have totally different implication when used in a different context with different intonation among friends.

So you think cursing in front of a 3 year old is acceptable?