Right time?

[Anonymous]

When is the right time or age are we suppose to let our baby cry in the crib for a little while to develop good sleeping patterns? Does holding the baby right away when he/she cries wrong? Is there really such thing as spoiling the baby?

[Anonymous]

Very experienced nanny here My advice is go with your gut! Let me thoroughly address all your questions and then I will answer why I say " go with your gut".

1. The right time or age? Most pediatricians recommend waiting until the child is 4 months before attempting any type of sleep schedule. Even though you can attempt a schedule at 4 months, most pediatricians recommend waiting until 6 months of age before letting a baby " cry it out". The age factor will also depend of various things such as being premature or having been diagnosed with a disability. Most pediatricians feel age-adjusted babies will take longer before being able to handle a schedule and "crying it out".

2. Holding baby right away when crying wrong? It varies with age and doctors. It depends on how old the child is and if they are crying because they need their needs met or cry/fussing because of over-tiredness, sick, etc.

3. Can you spoil a baby? This question ties into your previous question on whether you can spoil a child. Most doctors say after a year old, a child is able to more aware and can start crying for reason other than having their needs met. This is when being spoiled and discipline should start setting in and becoming part of your child's life.

First and foremost, I am not a parent nor am I a trained child psychologist or pediatrician. However, I have worked with a diverse amount of families, all with infants and early toddler ages. From what I've learned and gained is every parent has their own philosophies and they way they feel they should raise their child(ren). THERE IS NO WRONG ANSWER. Like us adults, babies are all different. Some cry a lot, some not at all, others have allergies, others are high needs, etc. Every parent has the choice to parent their child and follow whatever philosophy they feel best fits them and feels right for both family and baby.

So my answer stays the same. Everyone has their own theory of what age they feel things should be done, but no one knows your child like you do. Do what feels best for your child and when you feel it's the right time. If you are a co-sleeping parent who doesn't believe in " crying it out", more power to you and vice versa. Listen to yourself and your baby. Do what you and your significant other are most comfortable with.

My view- I am an advocate for putting a child on a schedule between 4-6 months because babies thrive on routine. I am also comfortable with sleep training a child at 6 months. I normally will start off with 5 mins one day, go in and pat baby, second day wait 10 mins instead of 5, and go in at 10min intervals until child is asleep, and increase time by days or weeks. I do believe a child can fuss for a few minutes if all needs are met before getting picked up. It helps teach them self-soothing techniques. Also, I do not think you can truly spoil a child until they understand the definition of yes and no. Like I said, this is my personal view and won't force it upon anyone. I've worked with families that have done attachment philosophy and others whom have followed " cry it out" and other philosophies.

There is no right or wrong answer. Speak with your pediatrician and see where your child is developmentally and physically wise. He/she will best know whether your child still needs feedings throughout the night, can handle a routine, etc. Most importantly, trust yourself, your babys cues and what you feel is best. I'm sure you are doing a wonderful job and as long as you and your child are happy, healthy and safe is what matters most.

I hoped this helped somehow

[Anonymous]

The post above provided some great advice. For my children, the answer to when can I leave them crying in their crib was never. So I would also make sure you're in the same page as the parents.

[Anonymous]

Never.

[Anonymous]

I am the poster of the first. I wrote as if you are the parent, but forgive me if you are the nanny. If you are the nanny, go ahead and consult the parents on what specifics they would like. As a nanny, you definitely do not want to let a child " cry it out" unless your employers sign off on that parenting method and vice versa.