when it rains it pours

[Anonymous]

So much has been going on in my life recently that I feel like I just need to get some things off my chest.

I have a great job that I love, but I live 5,000 miles from my husband. He may be able to move to DC in the summer if he gets a job offer but it’s a long shot because he still has to finish the thesis part of his PhD. There are not any jobs in the city he lives in and his salary is extremely low so it’s just not possible to live together.

I have a crappy living situation that I cannot control....

I live with roommates. They have just been bugging me lately because they’re loud when I am trying to sleep.. almost to the point where I want to disappear or just vanish.

With my current job, it is a way to save money so that I can return to my husband, however it’s IMPOSSIBLE to live on my own in this city. I also don’t own a car which makes my commute about 3 hours to/from work. This is SO hard but I really can’t buy a car because it’s too expensive and I may move in the summer to another state.

I really am at a loss right now, and I am aware that feeling down on myself will accomplish nothing. I just don’t know if I can make it to the summer.

So here it is, all laid out and no resolution. I wish I could be happy and right with myself....

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry you're going through a rough time, that does not sound like a good situation at all but there has to be away for you and your husband to live together. People make do with very little if necessary.

[Anonymous]

Op here. I wish there were but after rent we have $90 left over for food and I don't have health insurance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I wish there were but after rent we have $90 left over for food and I don't have health insurance.

You may qualify for Medicaid + food stamps. There's no shame in getting some help until you get back on your feet. It's only a year or two until he finishes, right?

[Anonymous]

You may be together by next summer? – not so long ultimately. Hang in there OP and don't go back unless you have a lot of savings. I can't believe someone is encouraging you to go on food stamps.

[Anonymous]

I can imagine that it would be incredibly difficult, even for only 6-7 more months. Good luck OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I wish there were but after rent we have $90 left over for food and I don't have health insurance.

You may qualify for Medicaid + food stamps. There's no shame in getting some help until you get back on your feet. It's only a year or two until he finishes, right?

Ignore this post. Don't go on food stamps. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

[Anonymous]

Many immigant nannies in our country are doing this. It is a way of life for many families in lots of countries. I am thankful that my family does not have to make the difficult decision to split up for survival, but if we had to I think we would.

[Anonymous]

I am a widow. I worked 50 hours a week to get my son thru college; but also because it was my responsibility to manage 45 employees. My husband was having affairs. Make your life your priority.

[Anonymous]

Everyone's marriage is different, so there is no answer here that works just for you. I will say, 5000 miles is terrible.
My husband and I would miss each other terribly--it would be very hard. On the other hand, I have a girlfriend whose husband is gone a lot for work, and they'd have a hard time if they were always together. You know your own relationship rhythm -- go with it.

[Anonymous]

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Summer is not that far. Do not have children yet? If not, I would stay here and save. Advance your career now while you can. Good Luck with your decision.

[Anonymous]

Are you the one with the husband living in North Carolina? That's so weird so live so far away from your HUSBAND!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You may be together by next summer? – not so long ultimately. Hang in there OP and don't go back unless you have a lot of savings. I can't believe someone is encouraging you to go on food stamps.

Whats wrong with food stamps if you really need it? I can't believe you're telling someone NOT to go on food stamps. I hope you never need any assistance in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You may be together by next summer? – not so long ultimately. Hang in there OP and don't go back unless you have a lot of savings. I can't believe someone is encouraging you to go on food stamps.

Whats wrong with food stamps if you really need it? I can't believe you're telling someone NOT to go on food stamps. I hope you never need any assistance in life.

+1 what a snob.
Being away from my husband would never be an option. I'd rather us be poor together for a short time than have more money apart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you the one with the husband living in North Carolina? That's so weird so live so far away from your HUSBAND!

NC is not 5,000 miles away