Dishes in the Sink- WWYD
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Anonymous
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When I got in this morning the sink was full of dishes... well, not literally full, just a pan, couple of plates and cups, utensils, etc.
DB left about 15 minutes after I got in, the toddler was down for her morning nap, and MB was getting ready in her room. I set up the crib cam and browsed the web as I usually do. I figured MB would put the stuff in the dishwasher when she finished getting ready, and if she didn't, than I would take care of it after she left. It's not a part of my duties, but I usually don't mind helping out. Anyway, MB came out, we did the usual morning greeting/chatting, then she went into the kitchen. She told me to just leave the dishes in the sink, and said that DB would take care of them when he came back in the afternoon. She said she doesn't want him to think that if he leaves dishes in the sink (and conversely the dishwasher), that they'll "magically" put themselves away by the time he returns. She said we need to "train" him to do his part, otherwise she'll have to pick up after him. It was all said jokingly of course, and even though I said I wouldn't mind doing it, she reminded me that it's not my job to pick up after them. It's true, as of late DB has been getting more comfortable just leaving his breakfast and/or snack/lunch dishes in the sink, and not emptying the dishwasher. And while I get annoyed at times, it really doesn't take much for me to just throw stuff in the dishwasher or empty it (my annoyance arises from the frequency with which he does this, his lunch stuff is pretty daily now). But if I just leave them there, I'll feel awkward when DB gets in, especially since I'm doing nothing right now, and it'll take me no more than a minute to put the stuff in the dishwasher. On the other hand, I see where MB is coming from. It certainly isn't fair if she does her part regarding loading/unloading the dishwasher and DB gets away with not doing his part because I do it. I'd be upset if I were I in her shoes. So now I'm in this dilemma. DB will probably get back on break around 12 or 1, and I'm wondering if I should throw the stuff in the dishwasher or leave them. WWYD? |
Anonymous
| I would just go ahead and do them. It is annoying but its not a big deal. |
Anonymous
| It is not your job to "train" an adult man. If MB wants to try, she can go ahead, but it is really inappropriate for her to put you in the middle. |
Anonymous
| This is very petty |
Anonymous
I'd probably do some. Like the easy dishes, but leave the pan. It varies. 
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Anonymous
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OP here. I don't really mind doing the dishes. They just require a quick rinse before going in the dishwasher. No more than a minute to handle.
It's just that MB DOESN'T want me to do them for DB, but I'll feel when DB gets in and they're still sitting in the sink. Herein is where my dilemma, albeit small, lies. |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
| Awful position to be in. I would do them though. |
Anonymous
| I would leave them. |
Anonymous
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I wouldn't do them because MB made it clear that she wants to him to do them. Don't feel awkward. It's his job, not yours to do the dishes.
I also wouldn't mind but at the same time I get where MB is coming from. |
Anonymous
| In the time you took to post this, read the replies and post again, the dishes would have been done. Silly power struggle. Do the dishes. |
Anonymous
You clearly aren't getting the point here. |
Anonymous
| In the future I might tell MB that you feel uncomfortable leaving the dishes in the sink. Ask her to talk to DB about what her expectations for you are. That way she can tell DB it isn't your job to wash his dishes. He needs to. |
Anonymous
| Normally if just do them, but given your convo with Mb, if leave them. |
Anonymous
| If your MB asked you to leave them, you leave them. Clearly if he fusses about you not doing them, she will have your back. Its not your job, let it go. |