Friends with the nanny

[Anonymous]

I've been at my job for a few months and it seems though MB and I are beginning to develop a friendship. I've never been in this situation before. Is it best to keep thing strictly professional?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been at my job for a few months and it seems though MB and I are beginning to develop a friendship. I've never been in this situation before. Is it best to keep thing strictly professional?

If she comes onto you, make sure there's a little extra in your paycheck

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been at my job for a few months and it seems though MB and I are beginning to develop a friendship. I've never been in this situation before. Is it best to keep thing strictly professional?

If she comes onto you, make sure there's a little extra in your paycheck

I'm strictly talking about friendship. But thanks for trying to make it something it's not.

[Anonymous]

It's normal to become friendly. I personally would not "hang out" with my employer after work (go out, shopping, hang out longer than 15 minutes while talking about baby or other little random things about our lives). This is for two reasons. One, I appreciate a separation between work and my "home life." Two, I think becoming too close could make the work environment hard and/or awkward.

Raising someone else's child is a very personal job. I definitely think it creates a different, closer, relationship between employer and employee than say working at Google would.

[Anonymous]

A lot of people here seem to say there should always be a boundary between your work and your personal life, and while I agree that it is probably best (it is a job after all), it always depends on the situation. I've had four long-term gigs and I was good friends with three of the mothers (and keep in touch still, years after), and it never backfired or became awkward. I regularly go see plays with my current mom boss. It doesn't add anything negative to our routine with the kids, other than 'that was great fun last night, email me when you think of what else we could see' when I come in the next day. My job is part-time now, and when I got promoted at my other job she took me out for a drink to celebrate. She and the kids have been to my band's concerts, we've gone ice skating together, I took the kids to the cinema and the mom joined us afterwards for ice cream and we hung out as friends. (And I could've left after she came and it wouldn't have been an issue).

There's nothing wrong with being friendly and having another person in your life you like. Of course as long as the mom boss isn't going to take advantage of your friendship but you can probably judge it already by how she treats you. Maybe I've been lucky, but it has never happened to me, and most of the people I've worked for were wonderful.

[Anonymous]

There is nothing wrong with developing a friendship with your MB. As long as you are both respectful of boundaries, there is nothing wrong with it.

[Anonymous]

Mb here. Keep things professional. Be friends with her after you no longer work together. I like our nanny very much. But she is my employee, not my friend.

[Anonymous]

I would not recommend a friendship between nanny and employer. I became very close to my last boss and was heart broken when their (it became a nanny share) treatment of me bordered on illegal. I was so taken aback and hurt by what they thought was perfectly acceptable behavior.

My boss confided in me and thus I became invested in her life, family etc. Really blurry lines. I couldnt understand why she didnt become invested in my happiness in the same way. Long story short totally dicked over by that relationship and now I miss the children and the relationship I "thought" I had with my employer.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand how you can stop a friendship developing, outside of suddenly starting to reply with yes and no and discussing the weather instead of something both of you would actually like to talk about. Presumably a friendship is a two-way street, if you click you click, if you don't you don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not recommend a friendship between nanny and employer. I became very close to my last boss and was heart broken when their (it became a nanny share) treatment of me bordered on illegal. I was so taken aback and hurt by what they thought was perfectly acceptable behavior.

My boss confided in me and thus I became invested in her life, family etc. Really blurry lines. I couldnt understand why she didnt become invested in my happiness in the same way. Long story short totally dicked over by that relationship and now I miss the children and the relationship I "thought" I had with my employer.

I seriously could have written this myself,except this wasn't in a nanny share. OP,don't do it. As much as you want to be friends don't do it. Even if you think it will never happen, things can go bad very very quickly. I never thought that I would have been taken advantage of as bad that I was by someone who I was once so close with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been at my job for a few months and it seems though MB and I are beginning to develop a friendship. I've never been in this situation before. Is it best to keep thing strictly professional?

If she comes onto you, make sure there's a little extra in your paycheck

I'm strictly talking about friendship. But thanks for trying to make it something it's not.

'

I don't know why MB would want to be friends with you... You have no sense of humor