Neighbor keeps asking to babysit my kids. How to decline politely?

[Anonymous]

A neighbor who lives several houses down from me has asked, on more than one occasion, if she could babysit my 2 month old infant. She says things like "Next time you need a babysitter I'd be happy to do it for free so you can get out". The thing is, I'm not close to this lady and although she's nice my mama bear instincts is giving off an uncomfortable vibe and i don't know if I'm just being paranoid. She's in her 50's and might just not have grandkids around and wants the company of a baby? Has this happened to any of you parents out there? She's already asked 3 times this past month and I always tell her the same thing which is thank you but i'm not in need of a babysitter at the moment.

Again, we're not close but I do chit chat with her if I'm passing by on the stroller or if she's passing by in a car while i'm outside. Just normal neighbor behavior. I want to come off polite but I want her to get the hint because it's starting to become uncomfortable.

[Anonymous]

OP here, I may have posted this in the wrong section?

[Anonymous]

I think it's fine for your neighbor to offer, and fine for you to decline.

[Anonymous]

Wow 3 times is alot for someone to ask. Trust your instincts and keep declining. I'd try and be polite about it though.

[Anonymous]

Just tell her you're not ready for letting the baby be babysat but you'll remember her offer and let her know if you need one.

Then just ... never let her know.

[Anonymous]

Why not have her come over for "coffee" and get to know her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why not have her come over for "coffee" and get to know her?

On one hand I think people need to trust their gut, on the other hand I totally agree with this poster. You might be glad to have someone close by you can call when you need a nap, shower, go for a walk alone, a Christmas party or if an emergency comes up and you need to go someplace not kid friendly. It can't hurt. I'd probably offer something similar to a neighbor simply because I like kids and I like helping people out. Nothing creepy about it. But if you are really dead set against getting to know her a little and making an informed decision about leaving your baby with her, then do what another PP said and just say you'll keep her offer in mind and let her know if something comes up where you need a sitter.

[Anonymous]

No, I'm a "trust your gut" person. Leave it at that. If you want to do coffee, go to a coffee shop when your husband is home with the baby.
Maybe she keeps asking you because you keep saying you don't need childcare "at the moment", as if you will need it soon. Do you have anyone in mind for down the road? Family or friends?

[Anonymous]

I would say something along the lines of "I appreciate the offer Ruth but DH and I have decided we only want family watching DD. What are you doing for Thanksgiving?"

Trust your guts. 99.9% chance she'd be a great babysitter, but you don't owe her alone time with your baby.

[Anonymous]

She's lonely and loves babies. I'm sure that's the extent of it.
Having said that, I run a BG check on anyone who's watching my kids, use hidden cameras and did not leave my babies at all in the first year. You do not have to accept her offer. Don't let this bother you.

[Anonymous]

She could be just a lonely lady who simply adores little infants.

But it is quite strange that she has mentioned this to you 3x in one month OP. That is a little overkill.

I would be a little wary too...Esp. considering that you barely even know her.

I would continue to decline politely and hope she gets the hint eventually.

If she doesn't and keeps asking you, then I would simply avoid if at all possible.

Hope this helps.

[Anonymous]

If she's older, maybe she forgot that she's asked the OP three times? Especially if she offers to babysit for neighbors regularly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she's older, maybe she forgot that she's asked the OP three times? Especially if she offers to babysit for neighbors regularly.

lol with a memory like that she's definitely not someone I'd want watching my kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, I'm a "trust your gut" person. Leave it at that. If you want to do coffee, go to a coffee shop when your husband is home with the baby.
Maybe she keeps asking you because you keep saying you don't need childcare "at the moment", as if you will need it soon. Do you have anyone in mind for down the road? Family or friends?

Yes, plenty of family and close family friends. I haven't needed any help so far but if I do I would definitely have family do it rather than this neighbor. I think your right about the wording. The last time she asked, which was several days ago, I said we're allset for now which is similar to "at the moment". If she mentions it again I'll just say no thank you and leave it at that.

[Anonymous]

You can just say "Thank you so much. We are very lucky to have lots of family and close friends in the area, so we're blessed in the babysitter department, but it was very thoughtful of you to offer."