Would you hire a 51 yr old former SAHM as nanny?

[Anonymous]

We're looking for a new nanny for our kids (early elementary to toddler ages) and have spoken with an applicant who is a 51 year old former SAHM. No prior nanny experience. All experience has been in the form of raising her own kids. She seems to be pretty well aligned to our parenting preferences and interviewed well. Most recently she has had an office oriented job but wishes to return to household work.

Pros? Cons?

[Anonymous]

There are endless pros and cons to any "type" of nanny you might hire, so this shouldn't make or break her candidacy, but for older, SAHMs moving into nannying I'd say some big ones are:

PRO - she's a veteran of anything and everything that can come with having kids; she won't be surprised by the toddler phase, or when a formerly eager eater turns picky, and she'll have had experience managing children while cooking meals and tidying the house. [[or maybe her house was always a pigsty and the kids ate microwave dinners every night]]

CON - it has probably been a while since she had young kids, and she may be out of the loop in terms of new recommendations (think things like - putting babies to sleep on their back/front, how much milk to give a 3yo daily, new assessments of developmental milestones, types of carseats that are safe/appropriate). [[or maybe she reads up on these issues regularly, out of interest or because she's got grandkids, etc.]]

PRO - having been a mother herself, she should be sensitive to your position and would be (hopefully!) less likely to be critical or make you feel judged for your parenting/caregiving preferences than a nanny who is not also a parent. [[or perhaps she'll feel like having done it all successfully before, you should take her word as gospel and will have a difficult time stepping back when you disagree.]]

CON - she has never been a nanny and it is quite different from being a parent; she won't have had experience navigating the employer-employee relationship in such an intimate job, won't be in a position to gauge whether what you're asking for is normal and reasonable or over the top, and some things that come naturally to experienced nannies (like taking and texting photos during the day) might not even occur to her. [[or she might be a great employee in any position who learns and adapts quickly]]

But really, as you can see these points could apply (or not) to ANY candidate. The important thing is that you feel 1) she is ready and able to offer safe, loving, trustworthy care to your DC and 2) that you can communicate comfortably with her and trust her to follow your instructions and address any concerns she has directly with you.

[Anonymous]

Cons - Helping raise someone else's kids and being their employee is VERY different from raising your own kids. She might be great at raising her kids and still be a lousy employee - you have no way of knowing since she has no references. Also if she hasn't nannied or evey babysat much she may incorrectly think that the way her kids did things is the "normal" way - this could be less of a risk if she has 3 or 4 kids but in my view could be high if she only has 1 or 2 kids.

Pros - Cost, I suppose? What other benefit could there be in hiring someone with zero experience for the position you are looking to fill? Everyone starts somewhere but there is a reason those families take a risk on them.

Personally I would not do this unless you cannot afford anyone with experience or at least you know her kids and her well enough to know she's done a great job with them and seems to view it as a professional position.

[Anonymous]

OP, you must have much more info about her, than you're sharing.....?
What did you like about her?
What rate will she charge you?

[Anonymous]

I would definitely be open to it.

Not knowing anything else about her, I would have more confidence with a 50y.o. regarding emergencies. I imagine someone that age would know what to do if a pipe breaks or if a strange person were knocking at the door, more so than a 20y.o. It might be wise to ask her what kinds of injuries/illnesses her children have been through. I imagine a 51y.o. mother of older children would have seen her share of "owies," possibly even some hospital trips.

What I would look out for is if she's willing to take direction well. Or does she think she already knows everything about children, even better than the parents? Does she think she will be teaching you how to raise your children?

I hope you update us when you decide, OP. Best wishes on what you decide.

[Anonymous]

Also, how old are her children now? This is important for many people hiring nannies. Are her children at an age that could cause her to often miss work for sick days or after-school activities?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you must have much more info about her, than you're sharing.....?
What did you like about her?
What rate will she charge you?

I like her personality and manner with kids. She seems even tempered, mature, and does not appear to have the sense of entitlement that a lot of the under 30 set have (sorry for the sweeping generalization there). We'd be paying her as much as any other candidate (very competitive rate).

[Anonymous]

Responding to PPs: she at least claims that she'll take direction well and has said all the right things in terms of respecting our parenting preferences. I get the sense that she'd be adaptable and recognize that we may have different opinions but ours are equally valid. (Less the internal eye roll type.)

Her kids are young/mid teens, so able to be home from school alone. As for after school activities, she is aware of the schedule and has agreed that it works for her.

She doesn't come off as the know it all type but has asked if we are open to suggestions for activities, etc. I said we are open to suggestions but reserve veto rights, and she seemed comfortable with that.

My kids seemed to love her when they met. She's a pretty young 51.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, how old are her children now? This is important for many people hiring nannies. Are her children at an age that could cause her to often miss work for sick days or after-school activities?

God forbid that a nanny might be human. Everything is about mothers too lsxy to take care of their own children. Before you scream " crazy nanny," i am not a nanny.

[Anonymous]

As long as she didn't have any health issues that might interfere w/her nanny duties OP, by all means, I would give her a chance.

In my opinion as a mother, I much prefer to hire a nanny who is older and has actual hands-on, real life experience successfully raising her own children.

I know there are some 20-somethings that make good "big sister" type babysitters for school-aged children and that is fine w/me. But for infants and toddlers, I would much rather go w/someone who has already raised children. I prefer someone who actually has experienced each stage of a child's development vs. learning about it in a classroom. This person would be less likely to call me during the day to ask, "Help!! What do I do??"

I cannot think of any cons. The only one is that as we get older, we tend to have more health issues, but I don't view 51 as too old to be a nanny since w/all of our modern medicine these days, people, esp. women, are living longer and vital lives.

So go for it.

Hire her.

[Anonymous]

I have an older married nanny whose kids are grown and it has been great having someone who is so flexible. She has been able to come early or stay late with little notice because she doesn't have to get home to her kids or take care of them when they are sick. Not every older nanny can do this, of course, but it sure is a plus for us.

[Anonymous]

OP here. We hired her. She seems great so here's hoping all goes well!

[Anonymous]

Glad to hear that, OP! Let us know when she becomes a "crazy old lady" with a walker.

[Anonymous]

I had a twenty-something candidate who seemed fit and healthy. I asked her if she could attend a toddler gym class and she said it would probably be ok but she had been in an auto accident a few months before and would have to be careful with bending and lifting.

[Anonymous]

Update from OP: this hire was an epic fail.

She acknowledged that she'd forgotten the "different energy" of little kids, realized a full time job was too much time away from her own teen kids, and had a health need arise that has to be tended to.

So much for the more mature candidate!