How to feel more comfortable

[Anonymous]

My husband and I are joining a nanny share for the first time for our 9mo old. The nanny seems great, references check out, other family has been with her for over a year. Yet, I still feel so nervous. I really don't know this woman, but I'll be leaving my baby totally alone with her. Plenty of people do this, but I can't stop worrying because I just simply don't really know her. Is it normal to feel this way?

[Anonymous]

It is very normal. You could invite her over for dinner or another get together so you can get to know her better. She is going to be taking care of your child, so I see no reason not to get to know her better.

[Anonymous]

Sure it's normal, and it will ease over time. You might consider letting her (the nanny) know how nervous you are, and that your nervousness isn't a reflection on her- just on your own nervousness about leaving your baby with anyone.

If she's experienced the odds are that she's been through this before w/ first time moms and she might be really helpful and understanding.

Good luck! FWIW, I think you should feel really good about knowing her history with the other family - that would give me a lot of assurance.

[Anonymous]

When i first went back to work I called our manny about four times a day. Thank god he put up with me until I gained confidence in the situation. Now I only. Call once a day if that.

[Anonymous]

OP seems like a troll to me. In this day and age, who still asks if leaving your baby with a complete stranger is "normal"?
Look, OP, if your gut is telling you something doesn't feel right, for God's sake, please take your baby out of there. Don't be another foolish parent who ignored their gut.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP seems like a troll to me. In this day and age, who still asks if leaving your baby with a complete stranger is "normal"?
Look, OP, if your gut is telling you something doesn't feel right, for God's sake, please take your baby out of there. Don't be another foolish parent who ignored their gut.

Sorry, didn't word my first paragraph properly, so you can ignore that part of my post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When i first went back to work I called our manny about four times a day. Thank god he put up with me until I gained confidence in the situation. Now I only. Call once a day if that.

I still find it completely weird that you refer to your nanny as a manny just because he is male. Nanny is gender neural in today's society, just like nurse. Using the term manny feels like mockery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When i first went back to work I called our manny about four times a day. Thank god he put up with me until I gained confidence in the situation. Now I only. Call once a day if that.

I still find it completely weird that you refer to your nanny as a manny just because he is male. Nanny is gender neural in today's society, just like nurse. Using the term manny feels like mockery.

He told you?

[Anonymous]

OP, let your nanny know how nervous you are (I bring it up in interviews with first-time parents, that I know how difficult it is to leave your child even if you trust and adore their caregiver) and ask if she'd mind sending you picture texts throughout the day. She should also be happy to answer your calls (provided her hands aren't full with the babies, of course) and answer any questions you have about their day or your baby's behavior/mood/activities. It will get easier over time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When i first went back to work I called our manny about four times a day. Thank god he put up with me until I gained confidence in the situation. Now I only. Call once a day if that.

I still find it completely weird that you refer to your nanny as a manny just because he is male. Nanny is gender neural in today's society, just like nurse. Using the term manny feels like mockery.

I refer to him the way he refers to his profession. If he'd called himself a nanny I would use that term too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, let your nanny know how nervous you are (I bring it up in interviews with first-time parents, that I know how difficult it is to leave your child even if you trust and adore their caregiver) and ask if she'd mind sending you picture texts throughout the day. She should also be happy to answer your calls (provided her hands aren't full with the babies, of course) and answer any questions you have about their day or your baby's behavior/mood/activities. It will get easier over time.

Right. She should ignore the other child by sending pics, texts, phone calls all day for OP. If OP is such a nervous nellie then she should stay home and take cate of her own kid. The other child is just as important and needs her attention, as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, let your nanny know how nervous you are (I bring it up in interviews with first-time parents, that I know how difficult it is to leave your child even if you trust and adore their caregiver) and ask if she'd mind sending you picture texts throughout the day. She should also be happy to answer your calls (provided her hands aren't full with the babies, of course) and answer any questions you have about their day or your baby's behavior/mood/activities. It will get easier over time.

Right. She should ignore the other child by sending pics, texts, phone calls all day for OP. If OP is such a nervous nellie then she should stay home and take cate of her own kid. The other child is just as important and needs her attention, as well.

Are you being intentionally inflammatory or is mean bitch just your default? Or have you just not used a cell phone in the last 15 years? The other precious baby will be fine in the 30 seconds it takes to snap and send a picture. Most nannies do this joyously and the babies/kids are completely fine.

[Anonymous]

I would think so.

After all, at this point, she really is a complete stranger to you and your husband.

If it makes you feel any better, would spending some more time w/her prior to her watching your child help a little more? Of course, you would have to pay her accordingly, but maybe have her come over for a few hours and care for your baby girl while you are home and see how well she interacts and engages w/your daughter. See how well she cares for her and handles the typical challenges that come along w/a child that age. It will also give her an opportunity to ask any questions she may have and address any concerns, etc.

This should give you better piece of mind.

Or during her first few days, you might ask her to send you an update or two and perhaps even send a picture of your baby so you can rest assured she is doing well.