Grandparents... Ugh!!!
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Anonymous
| My job is 100000x harder when the grandparents are visiting. It's so hard, I go home at night and cry from the stress. Thankfully the parents acknowledge that they are crazy and back me up, but it's still so hard. I need a hug!! |
Anonymous
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OMG, how about some healthy boundaries.
Sorry, OP. How old are the kids? |
Anonymous
| How often do they visit? I think if your bosses really cared they would atleast talk with them or have them come over at a time that doesn't interfere with your work day. But than again there is always stressful people in work situations that we have to just deal with. |
Anonymous
| The kids are 12, 5, 3 and 9 months. It's really hard being micromanaged about crazy things that the parents actually do not want me to do. I am not a cleaner, if you want the floor mopped daily, perhaps you should get out the mop yourself??? The housekeeper comes 3 days a week, I don't think more mopping is required web they are the only ones making mess. They make more mess with crumbs than the kids combined... And I'm supposed to mop after them? Do their laundry? Go to the grocery store for them when they have a rental car? I say no to the crazy requests because I have to care for 4 kids, I don't have time to do adult laundry... My bosses don't even ask me to do their laundry! |
Anonymous
| OP again- They live in another state an unfortunately visit often for weeks at a time. My employers say to ignore them and apologize for their behavior. |
Anonymous
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As a professional, I'd have to put some limits on their behavior. You already have your hands full with four children.
That's completely crazy to be forced to manage extra visitors. |
Anonymous
| Can you schedule outings and just leave sense say we'll be back at noon for naps? |
Anonymous
|
MB here. That sounds really annoying. Honestly, your MB and DB should speak with them so that the grandparents are clear on expectations. Specifically:
1. You do not do heavy housework like mopping and you do not do adult laundry 2. You do not run errands that aren't for the kids etc. Just "ignoring" them is not reasonable over the long term. You might speak to MB and DB again diplomatically and ask that they clarify your duties (and limitations to these duties) since they (the grandparents) right now seem a bit "unclear" about them and MB and DB clarifying this would make things much more smooth. Hope this helps. I was worrying about our family but our grandparents stay for only 2-3 days at a time, and don't expect our nanny to serve them in any capacity. |
Anonymous
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The nanny before me had bad experiences with The grandparents. They actually put grandma and grandpa up in a hotel when they would come. DB told me that one time it got so heated between GM and Nanny that they asked their parents to drive back home....4 states over.
I met GM and GP three weeks ago when they came for two weeks. They did not stay in the hotel. I was nervous at first, but man I kissed butt the first 2 days and now GM and I are best buds. I actually do enjoy her, but I can see where the head butting might have occurred. I was lucky enough that her requests were easy for me to get out of with witty words. I kept a list of things I was going "to do" each day, and when GM had a "suggestion" I would loudly and over nicely add it to my "to dos". This tactic seemed to work super well. I even called her this morning for her opinion on something house chore related. She was estatic. I know every set of grandparents can be extremely different and difficult. Thank goodness your bosses have your back! Stay strong and try to find some comman ground. I don't care what it is! GM and I had our first connection over the love of tea and coffee at 530am the first day. I showed her my stash of flavors and it was uphill after that! Before the next visit I'm going to stock it full of deliciousness!!! |
Anonymous
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I've been with my nanny family for 8 years, the first few years were fine but then they got comfortable. It bugs me when they tell me how to care for the kids because I've been here for the birth of the 3 youngest kids... I know what I'm doing!! I'm going to talk to my Boss again before the next visit (right now everyone is too stressed out) and try to set up some boundaries. For the time being though, grandma & grandpa can be mad at me for not being their chauffeur, errand or cleaning lady. Do they not see I am already cleaning up after & chauffeuring & feeding 4 kids? I'm so grateful my bosses are normal and back me up. It's just hard because I don't want to plan outdoor activities because the kids love their grandparents and I want to help foster that relationship.
In your case PP, I hope things always stay great, since you guys started off so well. |
Anonymous
| I agree with PP, and her approach is similar to mine. Find something to bond over (it was coffee for me too) and go out of your way, at first, to be accommodating. It's always better to have them on your side. I eventually got some afternoons off because of it, since GM/GP knew how hard I worked and would offer to take the kids to the zoo or lunch when they were in town! |
Anonymous
+100 You are definitely not their errand lady! 
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Anonymous
| I think the problem is that in the beginning I did go out of my way for them, cleaned up, throw in a load of their laundry, did little errands etc to be nice... But that was when there was only one and then two kids. Now I'm caring for 4 kids and they still expect the same treatment. If I had to do it all over again, I would have made a boundary from the beginning (child duties only) so them they wouldn't expect me to look after them. #1 It's not my job and #2 I really don't have a spare moment in my day to cater to grind adults. |
Anonymous
| *grown adults |
Anonymous
| Stop being a doormat. Tell, do not ask, but tell ypur MB that this GM crap has to stop and if she can't tell GM, you have no problem dpi.g so. Frankly, your MB is not backing you up and she needs to do so. |