How to quit when you're burned out.

[Anonymous]

I've posted a few times asking for advice under various scenarios (with some pertinent details changed to protect anonymity), but I haven't just come down to the bottom of it and admitted that
I. Am. Burned. Out.
We hoped for two years, but have finished one, and I cry at the thought of remaining in this job much longer. This field much longer. The family hasn't done anything terrible, I'm a good nanny, but the long hours are killing me.
I have the opportunity to go to grad school and have some leads on corporate jobs (and enough savings to hold me over for six months or so). I would give them 30 days notice. How should I have this conversation? I would particularly love to hear from MBs.

[Anonymous]

How many hours a week are you doing, OP?

[Anonymous]

65.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:65.

OMG. Done that and it's enough to kill anyone. Hope they at least paid well. Bless you for the year you did.

[Anonymous]

MB here. My advice:

- give your notice when you have your plan fully in place, whether it's grad school or a corporate job or whatever. You don't want to find yourself without income or employment. It's great that you have some savings but you don't want to plan on burning through that unless absolutely necessary.
- honor whatever minimum commitment you made (re giving notice) when you took the job. If you can offer them more than the minimum notice period that's a nice thing. 30 days sounds pretty generous - I certainly wouldn't expect more.
- Be honest and straightforward with the family - you're burned out with nannying and want to do something different with your life. It isn't about them or their kids, and it isn't something they can fix with a pay raise or other accommodations, you simply want to change course. They may be upset, but once they deal with the disruption it means for them they'll get over it.

That's really it - no need to overthink it. I just wouldn't act on it until you know what your next step would be. (That has nothing to do with nannying - just the realities of life - it is always better/easier to find work when you're currently working.)

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

OP, here. Thank you, MB 16:02. 3 weeks is the notice period in my contract, but 30 days is what I'm willing to offer them. I'm waiting to hear back from grad school this week, and if my application is accepted I'm turning in notice this weekend.

I can't do anything about the corporate positions until I have given notice, because I can't take time off work (no personal days or flexibility in parents' schedules because of their own corporate jobs).

I know the hours will be similar in the field I'm looking into entering, but having my own space and being personally challenged will make things different, I think. Not that nannying is easy!! I'm just realizing that I'm not a good match for the field.

[Anonymous]

That many hours a week would eventually burn out any professional nanny. It's not reasonable or healthy for anyone.

The parents got so little time to their children. Maybe they'll change that.

[Anonymous]

A burned out nanny is never a good thing. For anyone. I don't get how families ask nannies to commit to years of service in this field. What other jobs, aside from the military mandate such commitments??! None. It's stupid for a family to ask a nanny to commit years to a family. No one knows what will happen in the coming years.

Nanny, I strongly advise you to give your notice as soon as possible. Offer to stay on until they find your replacement. I don't know how close you are to your family, but if you feel comfortable w/them, let them know it is not about them. Tell them that you just need to take another direction in your life and that you feel like going back to school is your calling now. Even if you committed another year to them, what is the worst that can happen now? They cannot take you to court and sue you and make you work for them another year. The worst thing is they can get angry at you, but if they do, then that is THEIR issue, not yours OP.

You live your life for you. ONLY you.

As a parent, I wouldn't want my children in the care of someone who was burned out being a nanny. What you are deciding is in the best interest of everyone involved, including the parents. They just might not see it initially.

I wish you all the luck in your future endeavors OP.

You rock it!!

[Anonymous]

Just tell them you've decided to go to grad school and won't be able to juggle that with working for them. If you can babysit once a week at night or whatever, let them know that.

[Anonymous]

I would also be honest about the schedule. Maybe they should seriously consider having two nannies. That's a lot of hours for anyone!

[Anonymous]

are you sure you really want to leave nannying? i used to not have a life because I worked 60-70 hours/week and was an on-call nanny. I always had to be ready to leave where ever I was at to go to work. I also did live-in positions in the past too.I got to a point where I was SO burnt out and considered leaving nannying forever. It was hard at the time to judge whether I was burn't out/ wasn't a good fit with my nanny family or just wanted to stop nannying. I love my new job now and the enthusiasm for nannying came back. I work about 37 hours/week and both nanny families are absolutely amazing. I love my charges immensely too! I am a big believer in not working more than 40 hours/week. When I was working 60-70/week I was missing time with my boyfriend and friends. In addition to this, I was more irritable toward them. You have to find a balance...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
are you sure you really want to leave nannying? i used to not have a life because I worked 60-70 hours/week and was an on-call nanny. I always had to be ready to leave where ever I was at to go to work. I also did live-in positions in the past too.I got to a point where I was SO burnt out and considered leaving nannying forever. It was hard at the time to judge whether I was burn't out/ wasn't a good fit with my nanny family or just wanted to stop nannying. I love my new job now and the enthusiasm for nannying came back. I work about 37 hours/week and both nanny families are absolutely amazing. I love my charges immensely too! I am a big believer in not working more than 40 hours/week. When I was working 60-70/week I was missing time with my boyfriend and friends. In addition to this, I was more irritable toward them. You have to find a balance...

I'm in a similar boat with the OP. I am burnt out and do want to go back to grad school. To the pp i quoted, I am experiencing all you have described. I get irritable with family because they always want do things with me but I just want to sleep in or have too many personal errands to run. It hasn't helped with my dating. Balance is key. I have a few more months before I leave for school. Keeping positive till then. But I will not do such a long schedule any more.

To OP you may want to be careful about mentioning being burnt out. Especially if you may need them for a reference should you decide to come back. Some pp have great examples of how to bring up the discussion. Best of luck with you future endeavors!!