Nanny needs help
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Anonymous
| I am a nanny for 2 years & I always took care of only one baby which was easy. Now I am hired as a nanny for a 2 month old infant and a 3 yr. old boy. My first day was kinda overwhelming. We went to the park and let the big one play on swings etc while I am taking care of the infant who happens to be in the stoller, feeding her, carrying her while keeping an eye on the big one. It drove me crazy coz he keeps on moving from one place to another and there were so many people at the park. My thing is I cannot just leave the infant in the stroller while attending to him, scared he might fall or something. While feeding the baby he wants me to push her in the stroller. The park's gate was open too. I got scared when suddenly he ran near the door while I was carrying the infant. The boy don't seem to listen and throws fit when I told him we should be heading back home. I was so fine with just one kid but with two, i don't know. Any advice is helpful. I don't know if this job is a good fit for me. It is okay if it's two kids of the same age group but an infant and a toddler seems difficult for me due to safety reasons. |
Anonymous
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It may be a bad fit because the boy has behavior problems. I would not take him to a crowded place again. Is there another option?
Discuss with the parents the issue and see how they are handling it. They may need some help. Give it another 2-3 weeks. You may prefer a one child family. |
Anonymous
The boy has behavior problems? Are you joking? That's a pretty big leap based on what the nanny wrote. Sounds far more like the nanny can't handle the preschool age. He's three! Of course he's going to run around! It's a playground!! OP, what exactly did you expect? That he's be a perfect listener on day 1? |
Anonymous
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Handling 2 young children is very difficult but not impossible.
I would suggest that you stick close to home in the beginning, while you learn what caring for two children is all about. In time you will be able to do it in your sleep. 2 year-olds have tantrums. That is just what they do. I would suggest giving him warnings that you are leaving the park at intervals. "Little Johnny, we are leaving the park in 10 minutes." Do it again at 5 minutes, 3 minutes and one minute before you leave. OP- you will get this in time. It is difficult for everyone in the beginning....including all the grouchy PPs giving you a hard time. Just be forgiving of yourself and extra patient with your charges. |
Anonymous
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OP, how much experience do you have with preschoolers? Because what you're describing sounds very typical and predictable. What i would do if I had two those ages is start small (e.g., going for a walk around the block) to gauge 3yo's level of obedience, then plan accordingly. Lay out your expectations clearly ("At the park, I need you to stay in one area until I say it's time to do the next thing. If I call you and you don't come, we will have to go home early.") I would also plan the time of day carefully. If the baby needs to eat during that time, plan it so that 3yo will also be hungry and do a picnic on the grass where 3yo eats lunch while you feed baby, then when he's done have some books ready to read to him while baby finishes bottle (he can hold the book and turn pages while you read over his shoulder). The reward for sitting with you and baby during lunch is that you put baby in a sling and follow 3yo around for 30 minutes playing what he wants to play. Because of issues with falling/running off, the park is one of the harder activities to juggle two kids. Have you looked into indoor play areas (lots of malls have them) or free library story times? Also some toy or book stores (like Barnes and Noble have things like a train table out for kids to play with--also usually more enclosed. You can also ask MB about signing up for a class for 3yo one day a week. A music and movement-type class would get him engaged without drawing too much attention from the baby.
Ultimately, you need to realize that the focus should be on his needs at least some of the time. Don't just nanny the baby and expect him to entertain himself and obey orders. |
Anonymous
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The 3 year old was behaving totally normally for his age. You pop the baby in the sling, and run around with the older one. If the baby needs to be in the stroller you put her in it and wheel the stroller next to the swings (not where it could be hit by a swing) while you push the 3 year old.
You need to step up your game or stop playing. |
Anonymous
| Maybe get a baby carrier (Bjorn, Ergo, Ring Sling, etc..) to wear the baby. That way you have the baby close to you and have your hands free to help the 3 year old. |
Anonymous
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OP, have you ever heard of the saying, "One kid is one, two kids is ten?" How true it is.
It doesn't sound like you have experience at this point w/multiple children and it doesn't sound like you actually can handle the responsibility of more than one child which is perfectly fine. It IS tough...No argument from me. I am a mother of three and I have raised kids so I have first hand knowledge, but if someone doesn't, then it can be really really tough. Anyway, I think you should find another position where you are only responsible for one child OP. Caring for two young children, an infant and a pre-schooler is a tough job for anyone, esp. one w/no multiples experience and if you are not prepared, it can wear you out. I would simply tell the family you simply bit off more than you could chew and that you think you would be more suited for a single child job. They should understand. Good luck. |
Anonymous
Another mom here and I agree with this. You're right - it's a very tough job to have a toddler and an infant. But all the behavior you're describing in the toddler is completely normal and the challenges of juggling both children and their individual needs is also normal. You can absolutely decide it isn't right for you and you should be upfront with the parents. But don't blame the child. |
Anonymous
No PP's are giving OP a hard time.. You really just made that part up. Weirdo. |
Anonymous
| Are you all the same people saying that a second child is worth only a dollar or two extra an hour? |
Anonymous
I agree with baby wearing. Also plan outings around the feeding so the baby eats at home and you don't have to try and mess with the bottle while chasing after the toddler. |
Anonymous
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OP, please talk to the parents and be honest with your concerns. I get it--taking care of an infant plus a toddler/preschooler is hard. Definitely hard if its your first time juggling two.
I agree with the others that say you may want to start off "smaller" than a playground while you figure things out. Baby wearing is great. Timing is also key--being at a busy playground when baby needs to eat is hard, so plan accordingly. Work with the older one on listening and following directions at home, then in public but without a lot of craziness around, and then move on to crowded craziness like the playground. Kids have temper tantrums-even with the best parents and most experienced nannies, so accept that sometimes he will fall apart and that's normal. But definitely talk to the parents to see what works for them so that you are all using the same techniques. I'm sure he is testing the waters with you because you are new. Above and beyond, though, is that if you are not comfortable then you should not stay. It's not good for any of you to stay where you feel overwhelmed and unable to properly care for these kids. Both children need care, attention, fun and play with you. It is indeed a balancing act that for most people, moms and nannies alike, will take some time to get. There's no shame in deciding that you are at your best with one kid. As a parent, I would much rather a nanny come to me and say that she just isn't sure she's the best fit, than to have someone be freaked out but not able/willing to be honest, while both of my kids aren't getting the care I think they are while with the nanny. |
Anonymous
It also might be that the OP doesn't have much experience with children of this age. Most kids that are 2-3 years old do not want to leave the park and will throw some kind of fit. If the kid doesn't even really know the nanny that well, you can expect this to happen. If OP doesn't have the experience or experience dealing with multiple children, then this might be a bad position for her to have. |
Anonymous
| Sorry, that should have read "toddler/preschooler experience or experience dealing with multiple children"... |