When MB is home..

[Anonymous]

Everything seems to go to sh!t!!!!!!

I take care of b/g 5 year old twins and we have a pretty good thing going. They are in routine, they listen great, the day goes well. Minimum tantrums as well.

MB is home for a sick day and they are throwing fits. Running around like maniacs. girl twin wont eat because MB says oh she never eats the whole sandwich. She eats the whole sandwich everyday, all the time, never without fail for me. boy twin freaks out because he gets green plate instead of blue plate, MB sneers, "did you let him pick his plate???" NO you get what you get and you don't throw a fit. They have plenty of choices during the day but sometimes when you're trying to get hungry kids fed its just better to do it all yourself. girl twin screamed at her mom at the top of her lungs and she didn't even put her in time out, nothing, just ignored her and gave in to whatever she wanted. She would have never EVER screamed at me like that. And if she did she would have immediately been put into timeout until she could calm herself down. I would never tolerate that.

I also got told that its better to just clean up their toys myself because even though they made the mess they will just get bored cleaning up and not put things back in places. HELLO- thats why you monitor it. You make them do it but show them where things go. Also make them clean up before going tonext activity so you aren't overwhelmed with a million different toys to put away.

She just told me she is staying home from work for next two days because she's having anxiety problems and low blood pressure. I'm going to go freaking insane if i don't get some ways to deal with her. We are normally pretty friendly but she is messing up the day big time!!! Help!!!

[Anonymous]

I am right there with you. Same kind of MB - no structure with the kids - and kids are horrible around her. They start acting up two minutes she walks in the door from work, doing things they never would do with me. I say plan outings the next two days for as long as you can justify being out - maybe even eat while out also? like a picnic or other place? Tell her you are trying to let her relax at home alone. You won't change her, so don't try.

[Anonymous]

Great idea to get the kids out of the house

[Anonymous]

We don't have a car which sucks

[Anonymous]

Go for a walk. Play outside.

[Anonymous]

I have the same situation with my NF and my niece and nephew who I watch a decent amount. I know you don't have a car but, really, just get out of the house when she is around. They are 5, these behaviors have been happening for a while and you are likely not going to change them.

[Anonymous]

I'm an MB and I agree that going to a park or something would be a good thing. But also a little compassion. Do you have kids OP? Sometimes people are better at parenting than others. But remember that this is your job and then you get to go home. It's easier for most people to be consistent with kids when you're only doing it 9 hours a day and then you have all your evenings and weekends to get your own stuff done and relax. It's much more difficult when you are trying to be consistent (e.g. Make the kids clean up their toys every single time) after you've already worked all day, got home, tried to make dinner with kids climbing all over you, and you're desperately trying to get them to her so you can finish all your chores and hopefully have a minte to yourself. Same thing on the weekends - you've worked all week, then you get woken up at 6:30am on Saturday and the kids are already wired and you have a million errands to run, but the kids want you to pay attention to them, and so on.

It's great that you are able to maintain control at your job, definitely. But that doesn't mean that your MB should be able to maintain the same level of control for her entire life. Remember that your job is her life after she gets home from work.

If you do have kids yourself, then maybe you're just a super mom, and good for you. But recognize that it's really difficult for most of us normal humans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm an MB and I agree that going to a park or something would be a good thing. But also a little compassion. Do you have kids OP? Sometimes people are better at parenting than others. But remember that this is your job and then you get to go home. It's easier for most people to be consistent with kids when you're only doing it 9 hours a day and then you have all your evenings and weekends to get your own stuff done and relax. It's much more difficult when you are trying to be consistent (e.g. Make the kids clean up their toys every single time) after you've already worked all day, got home, tried to make dinner with kids climbing all over you, and you're desperately trying to get them to her so you can finish all your chores and hopefully have a minte to yourself. Same thing on the weekends - you've worked all week, then you get woken up at 6:30am on Saturday and the kids are already wired and you have a million errands to run, but the kids want you to pay attention to them, and so on.

It's great that you are able to maintain control at your job, definitely. But that doesn't mean that your MB should be able to maintain the same level of control for her entire life. Remember that your job is her life after she gets home from work.

If you do have kids yourself, then maybe you're just a super mom, and good for you. But recognize that it's really difficult for most of us normal humans.

Teaching your children to behave is difficult? False.
I am sick of parents wanting a free pass to do a shitty job because they work. If you were consistent to begin with, every evening wouldn't be a battle. You would just have well behaved children who you could enjoy being around instead of seeing as some huge cross to bear on your days off.
And yes, nannies do have their evenings to get all of their stuff done (not sure about relaxing) but SO DO YOU. It's called having a bed time. You had the kids, you signed up for this life. What else do you get to having children as an excuse for?

[Anonymous]

9:47, people like you and OP's MB should not have had children because letting kids run the house is not bad parenting, it is no parenting. I have zero tolerance for either of you.

[Anonymous]

OP, the next two days sound like they will be absolute hell unless you can take the kids somewhere....anywhere, but there!!!! Is there a park, library...even a Target, in walking distance??! There has got to be an ice cream shop at least!!!!

Anyway, I know it is tough, but please try to stick it out for the next few days and know it is only a temporary thing. Some nannies (poor souls!) work with parents in the home on a regular basis...and imagine what they must go through. If you absolutely cannot bear it for the next few days, you can opt out and call in sick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an MB and I agree that going to a park or something would be a good thing. But also a little compassion. Do you have kids OP? Sometimes people are better at parenting than others. But remember that this is your job and then you get to go home. It's easier for most people to be consistent with kids when you're only doing it 9 hours a day and then you have all your evenings and weekends to get your own stuff done and relax. It's much more difficult when you are trying to be consistent (e.g. Make the kids clean up their toys every single time) after you've already worked all day, got home, tried to make dinner with kids climbing all over you, and you're desperately trying to get them to her so you can finish all your chores and hopefully have a minte to yourself. Same thing on the weekends - you've worked all week, then you get woken up at 6:30am on Saturday and the kids are already wired and you have a million errands to run, but the kids want you to pay attention to them, and so on.

It's great that you are able to maintain control at your job, definitely. But that doesn't mean that your MB should be able to maintain the same level of control for her entire life. Remember that your job is her life after she gets home from work.

If you do have kids yourself, then maybe you're just a super mom, and good for you. But recognize that it's really difficult for most of us normal humans.

Teaching your children to behave is difficult? False.
I am sick of parents wanting a free pass to do a shitty job because they work. If you were consistent to begin with, every evening wouldn't be a battle. You would just have well behaved children who you could enjoy being around instead of seeing as some huge cross to bear on your days off.
And yes, nannies do have their evenings to get all of their stuff done (not sure about relaxing) but SO DO YOU. It's called having a bed time. You had the kids, you signed up for this life. What else do you get to having children as an excuse for?

PP, where did I say that it's a huge cross to bear or that I'm using working as an excuse to not teach my kids to behave? I'm suggesting that OP have a little compassion. You think just because someone chooses a particular life path, they must be happy with it at all times and must do a 100% perfect job at it? I even agreed with the OP that getting out of the house would be a good thing because it does sound like it's more stressful to have the mom around. If all OP wants to do is vent, then great. But she has a job with this mom and the best thing to do would be to be a little exasperated, get the kids out of the house, and be a bit more compassionate about the differences between how she gets the kids to act and how the mom does. That's all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:9:47, people like you and OP's MB should not have had children because letting kids run the house is not bad parenting, it is no parenting. I have zero tolerance for either of you.

Overreact much? Where I did say that it's OK to let kids run the house?

[Anonymous]

OP here:
She's not even helpful. She just walks around the house worrying about everything. Like the smallest things. boy twin gets milk every morning and i gave him a glass of it and she said no he cant have that much he will vomit. He has that much everyday and he never vomits. She has a vomit-phobia so she hates vomit and tries to avoid it. Boy twin comes in house sulking because i told him to put shoes on. She gets all upset that hes upset and that he thinks hes in trouble. No hes just putting on a show to get out of putting on shoes. If he wants to go on a walk, he has to put shoes on. Sorry thats the rules.

No I am not a mom but I've worked with kids most of my life and my mom ran an in home daycare growing up. It all starts when you're little. How you raise them when they are little is what matters when they are grown.If you wanna pick up all your kids toys, then fine. But dont complain when they are 16 and can't pick up their own things and expect you to do it for them. She also got mad at me for making him put his dish in the dishwasher. They have been putting their plates in the dishwasher since i've been here 5 months ago. They have their own little spot for their cup and plates. They know how it works. Apparently, i'm making them grow up too fast.

[Anonymous]

You don't sound like an good nanny. Frankly, you sound barely adequate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't sound like an good nanny. Frankly, you sound barely adequate.

What? She sounds great. She actually does the hard work of having structure for these kids. Whatever, pp, you are clueless.