Separation aniexity with nanny

[Anonymous]

My year old charge has terrible separation anxiety. I literally cannot even go to the bathroom as he screams outside the door, if I let him in the bathroom he screams until I pick him
Up. I love my job but this is driving me insane... Please give me ideas on how to make him feel secure and not scream when I'm not hding him or directly next to him!

[Anonymous]

How many caregivers has he had so far, besides his parents?

[Anonymous]

I am the only other caregiver.

[Anonymous]

Not even grandparents as they are all located in another country.

[Anonymous]

How long have you been working with him and when did this start?

[Anonymous]

I've had him since he was 3 months old, it started around 6/7 months but its getting way worse then it was before. When it started it was just fussing and now it's a full on melt down when I leave the room or his sight and hes not 'okay' until I pick him up

[Anonymous]

I would start by playing "hiding" games with him.
Hide behind a chair or wall for a moment and then pop out. Make it fun. You can then slowly begin to transition from that to leaving the room for a moment, only to reappear a second later. Gradually extend the time he can't see you and always tell him what you're doing..."Nanny is going into the other room and I will be back in just a moment."
Eventually he will stop being so clingy.

I should point out that this is very normal for his age and that his behavior shows that he has developed a healthy attachment to his caregiver.

[Anonymous]

Thanks! I will try that! I know it's normal I just feel so bad when I absolutely have to do (like tend to his sister, which makes him very jealous or go to the bathroom)

Thanks for your advice!

[Anonymous]

Woops, I meant do something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks! I will try that! I know it's normal I just feel so bad when I absolutely have to do (like tend to his sister, which makes him very jealous or go to the bathroom)

Thanks for your advice!

He has to learn boudaries. You have to be able to use the restroom and care fore his sister without guilt.
I would absolutely stop picking him up while you're in the restroom. Ignore his crying until you're finished.

[nannydebsays]

Work with him on object permanence, and when you can't pick him up, calmly tell him that and why.

Is his sister an infant? If so, has the escalation occurred since she showed up?

Good luck to you - this is a tough tough phase!

[Anonymous]

No, his sister is 2 and a half. Thanks again for the advice!

[Anonymous]

When you use the bathroom, you really shouldn't close the door since he is still so young. Something catastrophic could happen within mere seconds OP. I would leave the door open so he can be watched. If you will be in there a bit longer, I suggest putting him in his crib/playpen.

If you let him in with you and he cries, let him. It is not the end of the world if a child cries for a few minutes. People need to realize this and get over it.