Charge won't sleep... Ever

[Anonymous]

I'm a nanny to a 7 year old little girl. Anyway, after a 13 hour day of nothing but "go, go go", I am ready to wind down myself while waiting for her parents to come home.

I arrive at 7 am- her bedtime is 8pm, but often she will not go to sleep until 10 or later. I guess I am sort of venting because her parents kinda screwed me over last night. They texted at 6 pm to say that they were meeting up with friends after work abnd wouldn't be home till "later"... which was 11:30. Charge still awake. Parents are nonchalant about it.

FWIW, an adult has to stay in her room till she falls asleep (not for safety but just "house rules").

Is this reasonable?

[Anonymous]

Huh?

[Anonymous]

Get a bedtime routine together and start it at the same time every night you are there late-who cares what time she goes down for her parents.
Follow through with the routine (pajamas, brush teeth, read a book) and then just close the door at a certain time (usually 7:30/8). Let her know she does not have to fall asleep but she must lay quietly in her bed after a certain time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get a bedtime routine together and start it at the same time every night you are there late-who cares what time she goes down for her parents.
Follow through with the routine (pajamas, brush teeth, read a book) and then just close the door at a certain time (usually 7:30/8). Let her know she does not have to fall asleep but she must lay quietly in her bed after a certain time.

Thanks.

This would work except she will tell her parents that I did not stay in her room till she fell asleep. Or they will come home and find me sitting in the den and her still awake upstairs. It isn't that I want to be dishonest with them, I just think that she would be able to sleep if she didn't have so much extra stimulation (me in her room for one!).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get a bedtime routine together and start it at the same time every night you are there late-who cares what time she goes down for her parents.
Follow through with the routine (pajamas, brush teeth, read a book) and then just close the door at a certain time (usually 7:30/8). Let her know she does not have to fall asleep but she must lay quietly in her bed after a certain time.

Thanks.

This would work except she will tell her parents that I did not stay in her room till she fell asleep. Or they will come home and find me sitting in the den and her still awake upstairs. It isn't that I want to be dishonest with them, I just think that she would be able to sleep if she didn't have so much extra stimulation (me in her room for one!).

They clearly don't respect you (showing up at 11:30 when you were scheduled to be done hours earlier?? I'm surprised you go back) and this might be an issue where you have to put your foot down. Have a conversation with them about their specific reasoning for needing an adult to watch their 7 year old fall asleep, and be prepared to defend your stance against it. Perhaps politely suggest that if bedtime needs to be so high maintenance, they need to be the ones participating in it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get a bedtime routine together and start it at the same time every night you are there late-who cares what time she goes down for her parents.
Follow through with the routine (pajamas, brush teeth, read a book) and then just close the door at a certain time (usually 7:30/8). Let her know she does not have to fall asleep but she must lay quietly in her bed after a certain time.

Thanks.

This would work except she will tell her parents that I did not stay in her room till she fell asleep. Or they will come home and find me sitting in the den and her still awake upstairs. It isn't that I want to be dishonest with them, I just think that she would be able to sleep if she didn't have so much extra stimulation (me in her room for one!).

They clearly don't respect you (showing up at 11:30 when you were scheduled to be done hours earlier?? I'm surprised you go back) and this might be an issue where you have to put your foot down. Have a conversation with them about their specific reasoning for needing an adult to watch their 7 year old fall asleep, and be prepared to defend your stance against it. Perhaps politely suggest that if bedtime needs to be so high maintenance, they need to be the ones participating in it.

As an MB I seriously don't get why so many nannys put up with their MB and DB being HOURS late. And after a 13 hour day ?! What if you had to be soemwhere?

In the year we have had a nanny,
DH and I have once been 5 minutes late, and we called first. If oyu are a good nanny, and you sound like you are, either start looking for another position where you are respected or put your foot down with this family or both.

And the rule that someone has to be in her room untll the daughter falls asleep sounds totally insane. What is the reasoning behind it?? She is not going to hurt herself or anything, and talk about being a helicopter.... I think with that in combination wtih the late parents, you should get a new family, and soon. The answer to your question is "the parents are wacked, this is not your problem to solve."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get a bedtime routine together and start it at the same time every night you are there late-who cares what time she goes down for her parents.
Follow through with the routine (pajamas, brush teeth, read a book) and then just close the door at a certain time (usually 7:30/8). Let her know she does not have to fall asleep but she must lay quietly in her bed after a certain time.

Thanks.

This would work except she will tell her parents that I did not stay in her room till she fell asleep. Or they will come home and find me sitting in the den and her still awake upstairs. It isn't that I want to be dishonest with them, I just think that she would be able to sleep if she didn't have so much extra stimulation (me in her room for one!).

How is a child of that age supposed to fall asleep with an adult in the room with her? Do you remember sleepovers when younger? How you would stay up talking forever, there was no such thing as having 2 people in the room together and not having some talking going on. I think the parents need to understand that quietness and nobody nearby will help her get to sleep better. If someone is near me shifting in their chair or clearing their throat, getting up to use the restroom, that will distract me from falling asleep. They can't expect you to sit there totally motionless and silent until she falls asleep. Tell them you are not doing it any longer.

[Anonymous]

Give her a few tabs of Melatonin. Ask the mb first

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Give her a few tabs of Melatonin. Ask the mb first

She does not need sleep aids, she needs an evaluation of her diet and activity patterns before bed and a solid night time routine. OP, this is horrible advice. I would hope most nannies have enough common sense not to do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Give her a few tabs of Melatonin. Ask the mb first

She does not need sleep aids, she needs an evaluation of her diet and activity patterns before bed and a solid night time routine. OP, this is horrible advice. I would hope most nannies have enough common sense not to do this.

Calm down. It must be hard being so high-strung!